Oh father! This message is for you

All praise is due to Allah alone, and blessings and peace of Allah be upon the last of the Prophets.

Oh father! This is my message to you... where I express my sorrow and grief... my concerns and distress... I am doing what I deem my duty of giving advice... as a reminder and a warning... You may gain by it the best a father can get out of his son... because a good son is the provision of the believer in this world and the Hereafter.

The Messenger of Allah, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him, has said: "When the son of Adam dies, his deeds ends except for three: charity that is ongoing, knowledge benefited from and a righteous son who will pray (supplicate) for him".

Every father who has had a role in the righteousness of his son, the goodness of his son grants him the reward of discipline… Then his son's good prayers follow him to the Hereafter. However, if the father is the cause of affliction of his son, he commits a tremendous sin, and he will be held accountable for it in the Day of Resurrection.

If you had taken care of me when I was young, I would have surpassed some serious ordeals... But Allah has predetermined, and what He wished for, He has done, discipline is best in young age. It is easier and more uncomplicated.

Discipline might be beneficial when young *** after that no discipline is of benefit
Young branches straighten if adjusted *** but firewood is never softened

Here father is the text of this message:

Your child has a right over you!

Certainly father! And his right is that you educate and discipline him well... so that he will be an asset and a reward for you with Allah, and to avoid the consequences of the question on the Day of Resurrection!

The Messenger of Allah, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him, has said: "your Lord has a right over you, and you have a right over yourself, and your family has a right over you, and your child has a right over you, so give whoever has a right over you his right". [Reported by Muslim]

The Prophet, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him, has said in demonstration of the responsibility of discipline: "Every one of you is a guardian, and is responsible for his subjects …a husband is a guardian of his family and is responsible for it" [Agreed upon].
 

The Messenger of Allah, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him, has charged those who neglected that trust with a great sin, he has said: "whenever a guardian, who Allah has entrusted with wards, dies while he is cheating his wards, but Allah will forbid Paradise on him". [Reported by Al-Bukhari]
 

The Messenger of Allah, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him, has said: "it is enough of a sin for a man to mislead those whom he provides for." [Narrated by Abu Dawud]
 

Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, said: "How many parents are there who caused misery to their offspring in this world and the Hereafter; by neglecting him, and by not disciplining him and helping him to his lusts. He claims that he honors him, but he humiliates him, and that he mercies him while he has been unjust, so he missed benefiting from his son, and lost his share in this world and the Hereafter. And if you consider the corruption of the children, you will see that their corruption has come to them through their parents." [Tuhfat Al-Maudûd Bi-Ahkâm Al-Maulûd (The Amiable Guide to the Provisions of Raising the New-Born)]

In this sense, The Messenger of Allah, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him, has said: "Every child is born with a true faith (i.e. to worship none but Allah alone) but his parents convert him to Judaism or to Christianity or to Magianism". [Narrated by Al-Bukhari]
 

O father... Remember that

He is not an orphan whose parents perished *** from life and left him humiliated
An orphan is he who has *** a deserting mother or a busy father

No, father!

No father... What I see is that you have not built our house on a solid foundation of piety, faith and obedience... rather; you have empowered the devil in our house...

From the ways of empowering the Devil:

Songs: that wide spread evil which was pushing me to evil actions... it led me to committing violations with what it included of the inherent immorality and explicit meanings... which go into the song as salt dissolves in the water!

O father! Did you not realize that singing makes hypocrisy grow in the hearts... and that it is the spell to adultery...? You do not see most of its people but having their modesty lost and fallen into prohibited matters... Allah Almighty has prohibited singing in the text of the verse: {And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks (i.e. music, singing, etc.) to mislead (men) from the Path of Allâh} [Surat Luqman: 6]
 

Transliteration: Wamina alnnasi man yashtaree lahwa alhadeethi liyudilla AAan sabeeli Allahi

TV Satellite channels: What would remain of modesty during the day time… satellite channels in our house would terminate it... with what they include of explicit singing… shameless movies... vile series. Where hundreds of stations are competing to kill chastity and modesty... However, some of them aim at causing young people to fall into evil actions such as adultery, drinking alcohol, drugs and organized crime... All of this was greatly affecting my personality... it made me a character full of everything except for modesty, chastity and obedience...

Lack of religious adherence in the house: in addition to singing, which collects the lowest of devils at home... there is the social intermingling between men and women with which sanctities are violated... The Messenger of Allah, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him, has prohibited it saying: "Beware of entering upon women." A man said, "Allah's Apostle! What about Al-Hamu (the in-laws of the wife (the brothers of her husband or his nephews etc.))?" The Prophet replied: The in-laws of the wife are death itself." [Agreed upon]
 

And how many houses were destroyed by this social intermingling between men and women... How many houses it caused to lose chastity... it cut off the relations between relatives and cut off the affection and intimacy...

O father! Do not follow the footsteps of the devil... {And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaitân (Satan), then, verily he commands Al-Fahshâ’ [i.e. to commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse)], and Al-Munkar [disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; and to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islâm)]}. [Surat An-Nûr: 21].
 

Transliteration: waman yattabiAA khutuwati alshshaytani fainnahu yamuru bialfahshai waalmunkari

And ward off your home against sins and violations... warding off evil is of the causes of bliss in the home and the offspring... and in the intimacy in your home... Allah the Almighty has said: {whoever follows My Guidance he shall neither go astray, nor shall be distressed. (123) "But whosoever turns away from My Reminder (i.e. neither believes in this Qur’ân nor acts on its teachings.) verily, for him is a life of hardship, and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Resurrection."} [Surat Tâhâ: 124.123]
 

Transliteration: famani ittabaAAa hudaya fala yadillu wala yashqa (123) Waman aAArada AAan thikree fainna lahu maAAeeshatan dankan wanahshuruhu yawma alqiyamati aAAman

Not inciting for obedience and commitment: O Father, you have learned that Allah, glorified and exalted has commanded you to incite your family, your children and your relatives to obey Allah, glorified and exalted, He has said: {O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones} [Surat Ay-Tahrîm: 6]
 

Transliteration:ya ayyuha allatheena amanoo qoo anfusakum waahleekum naran waqooduha alnnasu waalhijaratu

It is clear from these texts that children should be raised according to Islam, that this is entrusted to the necks of their parents, and that it is the right of children over their parents and guardians, and others. It is of the righteous acts of obedience with which parents draw nearer to their Lord, and continue to be rewarded for, as a continuation of the ongoing charity.

It was proven that the Prophet, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him, has said: "When the son of Adam dies, his deeds ends except for three: charity that is ongoing, knowledge benefited from and a righteous son who will pray (supplicate) for him.", and that the one who neglects this trust is a sinner and disobedient to Allah. He bears the burden of his sin before his Lord, and then before His slaves!) [Guarding Virtue: 128 (Hirâsat Al-Fadîlah: 128)]

O father! Remember that the spreading of obedience and commitment in your house is the key to bliss. Allah Almighty has said: {And if the people of the towns had believed and had the Taqwâ (piety), certainly, We should have opened for them blessings from the heaven and the earth} [Surat Al-A'râf: 96].
 

Transliteration: Walaw anna ahla alqura amanoo waittaqaw lafatahna AAalayhim barakatin mina alssamai waalardi

It is also the key to happiness and tranquility. Allah Almighty has said: {Whoever works righteousness - whether male or female - while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islâmic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter).} [Surat An-Nahl: 97].
 

Transliteration: Man AAamila salihan min thakarin aw ontha wahuwa muminun falanuhyiyannahu hayatan tayyibatan walanajziyannahum ajrahum biahsani ma kanoo yaAAmaloona

O father: Do not overlook us... with your absence from home, care is absent as well... emptiness prevails... and the dignity of the house descends to a very deep pit! You are the glory and dignity of home when you are in it... You are our example to follow... we consult you… your advice guides us... we feel safe by your directions and guidance... If you leave me and my siblings for frivolous luxuries... or for never ending trades... or for fun trips, you must know that your home is inevitably apt to ruin and destruction...

And as that you have a right over yourself... your child and your family have a right upon you... their right is more than just a piece of bread... or something to drink and a shelter!

You are all what they want if you just know!

Why did you not command me to perform prayers?

Father: This is the Prophet; his Lord speaks to him and orders him to incite his family to perform prayers: {And enjoin As-Salât (the prayer) on your family, and be patient in offering them [i.e. the Salât (prayers)]. We ask not of you a provision (i.e. to give Us something: money): We provide for you. And the good end (i.e. Paradise) is for the Muttaqûn (the pious} [Surat Tâhâ: 132].
 

Transliteration: Wamur ahlaka bialssalati waistabir AAalayha la nasaluka rizqan nahnu narzuquka waalAAaqibatu lilttaqwa

Allah has praised one of His prophets because he was keen in performing prayers, He has said: {And he used to enjoin on his family and his people As-Salât (the prayers) and the Zakât (alms giving)} [Surat Maryam: 55].
 

Transliteration: Wakana yamuru ahlahu bialssalati waalzzakati

O father! Even though I have reached the age of seven I have not seen you encourage me to perform prayers... nevertheless, when I have reached the age of ten you have not, even once, reprimanded me for neglecting praying... and how many other times you have reprimanded me for inferior things such as the cleanliness of my clothes. Have you not heard the Hadith of the Messenger of Allah when he has said: "Command your children to pray when they become seven years old, and beat them for it (prayer) when they become ten years old; and separate between them in beds?" [Reported by Abu Dawud]
 

O father I wish that you had implanted in me the love for the Masjid when I was young... I wish that you had me get used to going to it... and that you made me taste the sweetness of prayer and worship!

This – of course – is no excuse for me... or a justification to stop praying after that I have become a young man... but I regret it deeply that I have been denied the delight of prayer for one day of my time... I was not getting the reward of growing up on the guidance and prayers on your hands, O father!

Prayers are light, illumination, sublimity and highness... it is the pledge of Islam, which if left by the slave of Allah, he rejects Islam. The Messenger of Allah, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him, said: "the pledge between us and them is prayer, whosoever leaves it becomes an Infidel" [Narrated by At-Tirmizi, who said: it is Good Authentic strange Hadith].
 

The Messenger of Allah, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him, has also said: "whosoever keeps performing it (prayer), it will be a light, a proof and a means of survival on the Day of Resurrection. And whosoever neglects it, it will not be for him a light, a proof or a means of survival on the Day of Resurrection, and on the Day of Resurrection he will be with Pharaoh, Qârûn (Korah), Hâmân and Ubay ibn Khalaf" [Reported by Ahmad] .
 

Why did you not inquire about my companions?

O father I have accompanied the bad guys... and their thoughts have manipulated me... their desires have attracted me... their doubts have misled me... I did not realize but that I have been indulged in many kinds of deadly vices and sins. Why have you left me in their hands!

I have learned from some of them to neglect prayers... I have kept pace with some of them in committing evil acts... This one incites me to molestations... and that one encourages me to watch movies and series... another one arouses my interest in vices and bad deeds... they are all my aid to committing acts of disobedience... they surround their victim as lions gather around their prey... Why did you allow me to accompany them?

You have left me to be alone in the sea of life... tossed about by the waves in its bumpy courses... while you knew that I was too weak to lead my own lifeboat!

Whoever rides high waves without mastering the art of sailing... get drowned! Here I am drowning among bad companions... gulping their venom in deep silence!

O father, you are my eyes by which I see the good from the bad... particularly, during my adulthood, and beyond... The Messenger of Allah, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him, has said: "man follows the creed of his close friends, so you should consider whom to befriend". [Declared Hasan (good) by Al-Albnai]
 

This is a Prophetic guidance to all those who have companions, to consider their religion and ethics before accompanying them. If they are religiously well mannered, accompany them; but if they are not, you should leave them so that you would not be harmed by their bad ethics.

O father! There is no doubt that I am shortsighted to distinguish good friends from corrupt ones... And that I need you most in the beginning of my youth to ward off bad companions... and to follow how I am doing in life... to ask about my morals and my friends... and to direct me to the satisfactory ways of choosing the good companions.

People, my father, are like keys... Some of them are keys for good, others are keys for evil; as the Messenger of Allah, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him, has said: "of mankind there are some people who are keys for good and locks for evil" [Narrated by Ibn Majah and considered authentic by Al-Albani]
 

If you let me accompany people with my lack of vision... it is letting me enter evil from the widest doors...

I wish that you can see how many an innocent young man was being set up by his bad companions into smoking... even into using drugs and alcohol!

I wish you know how bad companions manipulated the minds of innocent people to commit violations and crimes.

And I wish you realize what effect bad company has on one's study, faith and character!

It is sufficient to demonstrate its tremendous harm the repugnant comparison set by the Messenger of Allah, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him. When he has said: "The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith's bellows (or furnace); from the musk seller you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the blacksmith's bellows would either burn your clothes, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof." [Reported by Al-Bukhari]
 

How good a father who is not occupied by himself or his money or his luxuries to follow the conditions of his son... Asking about his conditions with Allah... his conditions with his study... his conditions with his friends... and his conditions at home, if he finds disorder in his conditions, he corrects it... But if finds good conditions, he praises Allah and thanks Him... He would be a good father and a loyal companion to his son... And would become a role model that his son would imitate in ethics and behavior...

Where is my share of learning the Qur'an?

O father, how much my heart is lamenting… and my soul is hurting when I see a young man my age who knows, or almost knows the Qur'an by heart... this lamentation is not in envy of this young man... It is rather grieving over myself, that I did not find any one inciting me to participate in memorization workshops... I did not find any one to take me to those good gatherings to be honored by reading and memorizing the Qur'an... and enjoying reading and reciting it.

Father, the Masjid was a few steps away from our house... I wished that I joined the faith workshops of memorizing Qur'an... But – May Allah guide you – you used to go past the mosque to bring me movies... tapes of songs... to play and have fun... I did not look up to you as a helper or a motivator to stick to these workshops!

Where do you stand from the virtues of memorizing and reciting the Holy Qur'an... it is the Book of Allah which falsehood cannot come to it from before it or behind it, it is sent down by the All-Wise, Worthy of all praise... Whoever speaks by it is honest... whoever rules by its rulings is fair... And whoever resorts to it is protected...

The Messenger of Allah, Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon him, has said: "by this book (the Qur'an), Allah would exalt (to a high status) some peoples and degrade others". [Reported by Muslim]
 

This high status - Oh, father - includes parents and children as long as they prompt for the Qur'an, teach it and work by it... Had you exerted your best effort to raise me according to the Book of Allah, you would have gained a share from this high rank.

Whoever guides to good deeds is exactly like whoever performs them... Moreover, inciting of the memorization and recitation of the Holy Qur'an makes your child a virtuous and good son, whose reputation on earth and in heaven is good, so you will be rewarded immensely because of him... You will be blessed because of him... and you will be protected because of him... his righteous invocations will reach you in your life and death.

Abu Musa al-Ash'ari reported that the Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said: "A believer who recites the Qur'an is like a citron (citrus fruit) whose fragrance is sweet and whose taste is sweet; a believer who does not recite the Qur'an is like a date which has no fragrance but has a sweet taste."
 

Prayers and Peace of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, And upon his family and companions.



Dar Ibn Khuzaymah

Translated by Wathakker.info website