Category: Muslim Women's Issues

I am curious about the coverings that you have to wear if you’re a female in your religion/culture. it really does all seem very vain for us that are Christian because it implies that a woman thinks every man wants her if she is not wearing this type of garb. It also seems that men are not to be trusted with someone from your culture/religion because of your "beauty" that you feel you possess, but people could be beautiful and not every man wants them. Can you shed some light on this for me? I will be honest and say that when I see someone wearing this, I always think "how vain are you?". Thank you ahead of time for replying.

I embraced Islam -praise be to Allah- and now I want to keep myself chaste, but my parents think that the most suitable age of marriage is not until twenty-five or preferably twenty-eight. Even worse than that, one of them thinks that there is nothing wrong with friendship and relationships outside of marriage - Allah forbid. The matter is extremely difficult and I do not know how to talk to them about this matter. I want to keep myself chaste; I want to marry a man who will help me to adhere to my religion, a man who will stand beside me and help me, a man who will live with me, because I am living far away from my parents. They are divorced and each one lives in a different city. I do not know how to explain these details to them in order to convince them that I should get married early; rather they think that getting married at an early age is something that is not appropriate. I am the only daughter of my parents, hence I do not want to disobey them and I do not want to upset them; I do not want them to forsake me either. I want at least to do the marriage contract, then delay consummation until Allah wills.

My questions are:

1. Is it permissible for me to do the marriage contract but delay marriage and the waleemah (wedding feast) and consummation for five years, for example?

2.  Do I have to repeat the marriage contract in front of my family later on and pretend that I was not married? Or is that regarded as coming under the heading of lying? I hope you can advise me because I do not know what to do.