No person severs ties of kinship would enter Paradise
Since 2012-11-08
This flyer includes; the merit of uniting the ties of kinship, the punishment of the person who severs the ties of kinship, how to observe uniting the ties of kinship?, things facilitate uniting the ties of kinship, reasons of severing the ties of kinship, and an exhortation to those who sever the ties of kinship.
All praise is due to Allah the Lord of the worlds, and prayers and peace of Allah be upon our prophet Muhammad and upon all his family and companions.
Allah has enjoined uniting the ties of kinship and being dutiful to the relatives; He forbade, and warned from, neglecting them and doing harm to them. Furthermore, the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) counted severing the ties of kinship reason for not entering Paradise with the people who will enter it first. Although Allah and His Messenger advised Muslims to take care of relatives and Islam counted uniting the ties of kinship as one of the Ten Commandments that He enjoined in His saying {Worship Allâh and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Masâkîn (the poor), the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allâh does not like such as are proud and boastful.} [Surat An-Nisâ`4:36]
{وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا وَبِذِي الْقُرْبَى وَالْيَتَامَى وَالْمَسَاكِينِ وَالْجَارِ ذِي الْقُرْبَى وَالْجَارِ الْجُنُبِ وَالصَّاحِبِ بِالْجَنْبِ وَابْنِ السَّبِيلِ وَمَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لا يُحِبُّ مَنْ كَانَ مُخْتَالا فَخُورًا} النِّساء: 36
Transliteration: WaoAAbudoo Allaha wala tushrikoo bihi shayan wabialwalidayni ihsanan wabithee alqurba waalyatama waalmasakeeni waaljari thee alqurba waaljari aljunubi waalssahibi bialjanbi waibni alssabeeli wama malakat aymanukum inna Allaha la yuhibbu man kana mukhtalan fakhooran (36)
The majority of Muslims neglected this right, as they did with other rights. Subsequently, this led to having envy and hatred and enmity instead of cordiality, love and mercy between the relatives and the brothers in Islam as well.
The merit of uniting the ties of kinship:
1- Uniting the ties of kinship is the slogan of believing in Allah and the final day. It is narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “And he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should unite his ties of kinship.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari 6138]
«ومن كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فليصل رحمه» رواه البخاري 6138
2- Uniting the ties of kinship is a reason for prolonging life and gaining more sustenance. It is narrated on the authority of Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever loves that he would be granted more sustenance and that his life span would be prolonged, then he should unite his ties of kinship” [Reported by Al-Bukhari 5986 and Muslim 2557]. Prolonging the life here means either having the life blessed or actually prolonged.
«من أحب أن يبسط له في رزقه، وينسأ له في أثره، فليصل رحمه» رواه البخاري ومسلم
Sheikh Al-Islam, ibn Taimiyah said: “Provision is two kinds; one Allah knew that He will provide it to him (this provision is not changeable), and another Allah recorded it and informed the angels about it (this provision gets increased or decreased according to the reasons).”
3- Uniting the ties of kinship leads to gaining relationship with Allah. It is narrated that the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Verily Allah created the universe and when He was done with the creation, ties of kinship came forward and said ‘this is the place for him who seeks refuge from severing (of blood-relationship).’ He said: ‘yes. Are you not satisfied that I should keep relationship with one who unites your ties of kinship and sever it with one who severs your (ties of kinship)?’ They (the ties of blood) said: ‘certainly so.’ Thereupon He said: ‘Then you got what you asked for’.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari 5987 and Muslim 2554]
«إنَّ الله خلق الخلق، حتَّى إذا فرغ من خلقه، قالت الرّحم: هذا مقام العائذ بك من القطيعة، قال: نعم، أما ترضين أن أصل من وصلك، وأقطع من قطعك؟ قالت: بلى يا ربّ، قال: فهو لك» رواه البخاري ومسلم
4- Uniting the ties of kinship is one of the great reasons for entering Paradise. It is narrated on the authority of Abu Ayub Al-Ansari (may Allah be pleased with him) that a man said: o Messenger of Allah, tell me about a deed that gets me in Paradise. Whereupon the Messenger of Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “worship Allah alone with no partner, observe prayer, give Zakat, and unite the ties of kinship.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari 5983 and Muslim 13]
«يا رسول الله أخبرني بعملٍ يدخلني الجنَّة، فقال رسول الله -صلّى الله عليه وسلّم:- تعبد الله لا تشرك به شيئًا، وتقيم الصَّلاة ، وتؤتي الزَّكاة، وتصل الرَّحم» رواه البخاري ومسلم
5- Uniting the ties of kinship is obedience to Allah (the Exalted the Glorious); it is joining to what Allah has commanded to be joined. Allah Almighty said as praise to those who join what He has commanded to be joined: {And those who join that which Allâh has commanded to be joined (i.e. they are good to their relatives and do not sever the bond of kinship), and fear their Lord, and dread the terrible reckoning (i.e. abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which Allâh has forbidden and perform all kinds of good deeds which Allâh has ordained).} [Surat Ar-Ra’d 13:21]
{وَالَّذِينَ يَصِلُونَ مَا أَمَرَ اللَّهُ بِهِ أَنْ يُوصَلَ وَيَخْشَوْنَ رَبَّهُمْ وَيَخَافُونَ سُوءَ الْحِسَابِ} الرعد: 21
Transliteration: Waallatheena yasiloona ma amara Allahu bihi an yoosala wayakhshawna rabbahum wayakhafoona sooa alhisabi (21)
6- Spreading love among relatives. By uniting the ties of kinship, love is spread and the good times are a lot.
7- Increase in rank. When a person unites his ties of kinship and cares for honoring his relatives, they in turn will honor him and make him master to them and support him.
The punishment of the person who severs the ties of kinship:
1- The person who severs the ties of kinship is cursed in the Book of Allah; Allah Almighty said: {Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allâh has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.} [Surat Muhammad 47:22-23]
{فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِنْ تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَنْ تُفْسِدُوا فِي الأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوا أَرْحَامَكُمْ (22) أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ لَعَنَهُمُ اللَّهُ فَأَصَمَّهُمْ وَأَعْمَى أَبْصَارَهُمْ} محمد: 22-23
Transliteration:Fahal AAasaytum in tawallaytum an tufsidoo fee alardi watuqattiAAoo arhamakum (22) Olaika allatheena laAAanahumu Allahu faasammahum waaAAma absarahum (23)
Ali ibn Al-Husain said to his son: “O my son, do not accompany the person who severs the ties of kinship, because I found him cursed in the Book of Allah in three occasions.”
2- The person who severs the ties of kinship is one among the losers and disobedient to Allah; Allah Almighty said: {And He misleads thereby only those who are Al-Fâsiqûn (the rebellious, disobedient to Allâh). Those who break Allâh’s Covenant after ratifying it, and sever what Allâh has ordered to be joined (as regards Allâh’s religion of Islâmic Monotheism, and to practise its laws on the earth and also as regards keeping good relations with kith and kin), and do mischief on earth, it is they who are the losers.} [Surat Al-Baqarah 2:26-27]
{وَمَا يُضِلُّ بِهِ إِلا الْفَاسِقِينَ (26) الَّذِينَ يَنْقُضُونَ عَهْدَ اللَّهِ مِنْ بَعْدِ مِيثَاقِهِ وَيَقْطَعُونَ مَا أَمَرَ اللَّهُ بِهِ أَنْ يُوصَلَ وَيُفْسِدُونَ فِي الأَرْضِ أُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْخَاسِرُونَ} البقرة: 26-27
Transliteration:wama yudillu bihi illa alfasiqeena (26) Allatheena yanqudoona AAahda Allahi min baAAdi meethaqihi wayaqtaAAoona ma amara Allahu bihi an yoosala wayufsidoona fee alardi olaika humu alkhasiroona (27)
3- The person who severs the ties of kinship gets punishment in the worldly life and his punishment in Hereafter is harder and lasting. It is narrated on the authority of Abu Bakrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no sin more fitted to have punishment meted out by Allah to its perpetrator in advance in this world along with what He stores up for him in the hereafter than oppression and severing ties of kinship.” [Reported by Abu Dawûd 4902 and At-Tirmizi and ibn Maja 3413, and authenticated by Al-Albani]
«ما من ذنبٍ أجدر أن يعجل الله لصاحبه العقوبة في الدُّنيا مع ما يدخر له في الآخرة من البغي، وقطيعة الرحم» رواه أبو داود والترمذي وابن ماجه وصححه الألباني
4- His acts will not be raised or accepted by Allah. It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The deeds of the children of Adam are displayed every Thursday at Friday’s night, and no person severs ties of kinship has his deeds accepted.” [Declared good by Al-Albani 2538 in Sahih At-Targhib]
«إن أعمال بني آدم تعرض كلّ خميس ليلة الجمعة، فلا يقبل عمل قاطع رحم» حسنه الألباني فى صحيح الترغيب
5- Severing the ties of kinship is severing the relationship with Allah. It is narrated on the authority of ‘A`ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The tie of kinship is suspended to the Throne and says: He who unites me Allah would unite him and he who severs me Allah would sever him.” [Reported by Muslim 2555]
«الرّحم معلقة بالعرش تقول: من وصلني وصله الله، ومن قطعني قطعه الله » رواه مسلم
6- It is reason for not entering Paradise; the Messenger of Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No person severs ties of kinship would enter Paradise.” [Reported by Muslim 2556]
«لا يدخل الجنَّة قاطع رحم» رواه مسلم
How to observe uniting the ties of kinship?
Uniting the ties of kinship could be observed by doing many things. It could be by visiting them, asking about them and about their status, presenting gifts to them, appreciating them, giving charity to the poor among them, having kindness with the rich among them, honoring the elder among them, showing mercy to the young and weak among them, and caring for them all the time by asking about their affairs and visiting them; this could be done by visiting them in person or through messages or phone calls.
Also, it could be by hosting them and welcoming them, honoring them, and keeping touch with whoever severs the ties of kinship among them.
Also, it could be by sharing their happy occasions and consoling them in their sorrows.
Also, it could be by invoking to them, not having evil feelings toward them, reconciling between them whenever they have dispute, and caring for strengthening the relationship among them.
Also, it could be by visiting the sick among them and answering their invitations. However, the greatest kind of uniting the ties of kinship with them is caring for inviting them to the guidance and enjoining good and forbidding evil among them. This uniting to the ties of kinship continues whether the tie of kinship is righteous and straight or not.
Things facilitate uniting the ties of kinship:
1- Considering the consequences of uniting the ties of kinship. Actually, knowing the fruits of the deeds and their good consequences is one of the great reasons for doing them and seeking them.
2- Considering the consequences of severing the ties of kinship, by considering the grief, solicitudes, regret and sorrow that it brings, because this facilitates avoiding it and neglecting it.
3- Seeking help from Allah, by asking Him success and help in uniting the ties of kinship.
4- Facing relatives’ injustice with doing good to them. Verily, this guards cordiality and makes the injustice that is received from the relatives easy.
5- Accepting their excuses, if they sought pardon for their mistakes; and pardoning them and forgetting their wrongdoings, even if they did not seek pardon, because this is generosity and excellence.
6- Avoiding reminding them with the favors and asking their likes from them.
7- Avoiding severity in blame and accepting the blame of the relatives and thinking good in it.
8- Moderation in joking with the relatives while caring for their status and not joking with whoever does not tolerate joking.
9- Presenting gifts whenever there is dispute with the relatives. The gift brings cordiality, eliminates the evil thoughts, and gets rid of hearts’ evils.
10- Perfect care for remembering the relatives in the occasions, banquets and periodical gatherings; whether they are monthly, yearly or whatever.
11- Having kinship’s fund for gathering the charities of the relatives and the money of their subscriptions. Whenever a member of the family needs money for marriage or catastrophe or whatever, they would quickly study his case and help him; this brings love and increases the cordiality.
12- Overlooking and closing the eyes; they are among the characteristics of the magnificent people and they are among the reasons that facilitate bringing cordiality and killing enmity. Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “I overlook many things, although I am able not to overlook. And I keep silent about things I could talk about them, if I liked; indeed, there is no person could prevent me from talking.”
Reasons of severing the ties of kinship:
1- Ignorance. Actually, being ignorant about the near and far consequences of severing the ties of kinship leads to committing it as well as being ignorant about the near and far consequences of uniting the ties of kinship leads to neglecting it and not caring for it.
2- Not fearing Allah much. When fearing Allah becomes weak, the person does not care for severing what Allah has ordered to be joined; furthermore, he will not care for the reward of uniting the ties of kinship or fear the consequences of severing them.
3- Arrogance. When some people get authority or exalted position or become great merchants, they become arrogant with their relatives and disdain visiting them and having cordiality with them; such people think that they are who deserve to be visited.
4- Stressful blaming. There is a person who showers his coming relative (who did not visit him for long time) with blame and reproach for not caring for him much and not visiting him for a long time ago. This kind of dealing may lead to disdaining visiting such person because of fearing his blame and reproach.
5- Not caring much for the guests. There is a person who does not show care or joy whenever he is visited by his relatives; rather he receives them sluggishly, and this leads to decreasing their interest in visiting him.
6- Miserliness and stinginess. There is a person who tries to avoid his relatives, when he is granted money or authority, lest they may ask him to lend them or lest they present many requests to him.
7- Being busy with the worldly affairs and going after world’s wreckage. Such person does not find time to unite his ties of kinship or have cordiality with them.
8- Forgetting the relatives in the banquets and occasions. The person may forget one of his relatives, and this may subsequently lead to interpreting this forgiveness as disregard and disdain by the one who has been forgotten.
9- Excessive joking. Indeed, there are negative consequences for excessive joking; because it may cause uttering evil word (by someone who does not care for the feelings of the others) harms someone very sensitive and plants in his heart hatred toward the joker. This happens a lot among the relatives because of their repetitive meetings.
10- Divorce among the relative couples.
11- Having close houses. This usually causes disputes because of the wives or children, and then these disputes get transmitted to the parents causing severing the ties of kinship. Omar said: “Ask the relatives to visit each other and not to have houses close to each other.”
12- Not tolerating the relatives or pardoning them if a mistake or wrong is done by them.
13- Envy.
14- Delaying dividing the inheritance.
Exhortation to those who sever the ties of kinship:
Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) used to spend on his cousin, because he was poor. But when HADITH Al-IFK (i.e. the speech of untruth) was spread about ‘A`ishah, the mother of the believers (may Allah be pleased with her), his cousin talked among those who talked about her. When Abu Bakr was informed about that, he stopped giving him the charity that he used to give him (actually; this is the most minor thing he could do, in our opinion). However, Allah (the Exalted the Glorious) revealed Glorious verses about this to set to us a great example for social behavior. He Almighty said: {And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give (any sort of help) to their kinsmen, Al-Masâkîn (the poor), and those who left their homes for Allâh’s Cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love that Allâh should forgive you? And Allâh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.} [Surat An-Nur 24:22]
{وَلا يَأْتَلِ أُولُو الْفَضْلِ مِنْكُمْ وَالسَّعَةِ أَنْ يُؤْتُوا أُولِي الْقُرْبَى وَالْمَسَاكِينَ وَالْمُهَاجِرِينَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا أَلا تُحِبُّونَ أَنْ يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ} النور: 22
Transliteration: Wala yatali oloo alfadli minkum waalssaAAati an yutoo olee alqurba waalmasakeena waalmuhajireena fee sabeeli Allahi walyaAAfoo walyasfahoo ala tuhibboona an yaghfira Allahu lakum waAllahu ghafoorun raheemun (22)
Whereupon Abu Bakr said: “Certainly”, which means “I certainly love that Allah should forgive and pardon me.” Then, Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) continued giving the charity that he used to give to his cousin, regardless of what he said about the mother of the believers.
Hence; dear generous brother, if you are severing your ties of kinship, you should consider the reason. Usually, the reason will not be as strong as the reason that made Abu Bakr stop his spending on his cousin. And consider how the Qur`anic response is!
I contact them and they do not contact me:
It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: “I have relatives with whom I try, to have close relationship, but they sever (this relation). I treat them well, but they treat me ill. I am sweet to them but they are harsh towards me.” Upon this he (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “if it is so as you say, then you in fact shove hot sand in their mouth’s (upon their faces) and there would always remain with you on behalf of Allah (an Angel to support you) who would keep you dominant over them so long as you adhere to this (path of uniting kinship ties).” [Reported by Muslim 2558]
«لئن كنت كما قلت، فكأنَّما تسفهم المل، ولا يزال معك من الله ظهير عليهم، ما دمت على ذلك» رواه مسلم
He (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) also said: “The person who unites the ties of kinship is not the one who rewards (by visiting those who visit him); rather he is the person who unites his ties of kinship whenever they are severed.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari 5991]
«ليس الواصل بالمكافئ، ولكن الواصل الّذي إذا قطعت رحمه وصلها» رواه البخاري
Lesson from Hadith:
It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever loves that he would be granted more sustenance and that his life span would be prolonged, then he should unite his ties of kinship.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari 5986 and Muslim 2557]
«من أحب أن يبسط له في رزقه، وينسأ له في أثره، فليصل رحمه» رواه البخاري ومسلم
In fact, uniting the ties of kinship does not increase the amount of provision or prolongs life span, because the amounts of provisions are prescribed and the lives are predetermined, as the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said. However, uniting the ties of kinship increases the blessing of them both. So, provision’s benefits and blessings become much as the good deeds get increased and the person becomes facilitated to achieving them, because of what he gains during his visit to his relatives; especially if the person is righteous one and good example could have influence on the one whom he visits and therefore he would gain in return a reward that equals the reward of the visited person. The Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “The one who guides to something good has a reward similar to that of its doer” [Reported by Muslim 1893]. Whereupon his life span becomes blessed because of the greatness of his reward when meeting Allah Almighty.
«من دلَّ على خير فله مثل أجر فاعله» رواه مسلم
Hence; o servants of Allah, o you who have believed in Allah and His Messenger, consider your relations with your relatives!
Did you observe uniting their ties of kinship, which is obligatory upon you?
Did you treat them with leniency? Did you meet them with happy face?
Did you open your chests at meeting them?
Did you present to them the love, appreciation and respect that they deserve?
Did you visit them during their being well, for having cordiality? Did you visit them during their illness, because of care and being interested in them?
Did you present to them what they need from money and other things?
Dear kind brother … Dear kind sister; ask refuge with Allah from the accursed Satan and self’s insinuations, then unite your ties of kinship, keep the cordiality, guard the covenant, and spread love and happiness and peace. Have relations with whoever severed his relations with you, give whoever didn’t give you, and pardon whoever wronged you.
I ask Allah Almighty to make our relations good, and I ask Him to fill our hearts with love to our ties of kinship, as mercy and pity for them. Indeed, our Lord is Ever-Near, All-Hearer.
And prayers and peace of Allah be upon our prophet Muhammad and upon all his family and companions.
Al-Alamatayn Series