Do Not Be Sad, O My Sister!
Since 2012-11-29
Do not be sad, O sister, as sadness is not a cure for distresses. Do not lose hope as despair troubles the disposition while hope has loomed from every quarter, rather, from everywhere.
All the praises and thanks be to Allah. We praise Him and seek His help and forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allah from the evils inside us, and from the evils we commit. Those whom Allah guides are not misled by others, and those who are misled by Allah have no other to guide them. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, Alone without a partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
Do not be sad, O sister, as sadness is not a cure for distresses. Do not lose hope as despair troubles the disposition while hope has loomed from every quarter, rather, from everywhere.
Do not be sad, O sister, as affliction is a kind of purification [through trial] and the calamity is a test from Allah. In addition, misfortune is an exam and at the time of exam, man is either honored or humiliated.
Allah sends the affliction as a blessing to distinguish,
Who, among us, will be satisfied and who will be confused.
What may be the reason for your sadness? If it is because of an illness, it is good for you and you will recover. The Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, «If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials» [Al-Bukhari]
«من يرد الله به خيراً يصب منه» البخاري
And Allah Exalted and Glorified says, {"And when I am ill, it is He who cures me.} [Surat Ash-Shu'arâ': 80]
{وَإِذَا مَرِضْتُ فَهُوَ يَشْفِينِ} الشعراء: 80
Transliteration: Wa 'Idhā Mariđtu Fahuwa Yashfīni
If your sadness is because of a sin or an act of disobedience which you have committed, meditate on the words of your Lord who is more merciful to you than yourself. He says, {Say, "O ‘Ibâdî (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allâh, verily, Allâh forgives all sins. Truly He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.} [Surat Az-Zumar: 53]
{قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَى أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِن رَّحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعاً} الزمر: 53
Transliteration: Qul Yā `Ibādī Al-Ladhīna 'Asrafū `Alá 'Anfusihim Lā Taqnaţū Min Raĥmati Allāhi 'Inna Allāha Yaghfiru Adh-Dhunūba Jamī`āan
If your sadness is due to oppression directed towards you by a husband, a relative or another one, Allah has promised you His help and threatened your oppressor by disappointment and humiliation. Allah Almighty says, {And Allâh likes not the Zâlimûn (polytheists and wrong-doers).} [Surat Al-'Imrân: 140]
{وَاللّهُ لاً يُحِبُّ الظَّالِمِينَ} آل عمران: 140
Transliteration: Wa Allāhu Lā Yuĥibbu Až-Žālimīna
Moreover, Allah Almighty says in a Divine Hadith for the oppressed, «I swear by My Honor and Glory to help you even if it would take time» [Sahîh Al-Jâmi']
«وعزتي وجلالي لأنصرنك ولو بعد حين» صحيح الجامع
He Exalted says, {Indeed Allâh has heard the statement of her (Khaulah bint Tha‘labah) that disputes with you (O Muhammad) concerning her husband (Aus bin As-Sâmit), and complains to Allâh. And Allâh hears the argument between you both. Verily, Allâh is All-Hearer, All-Seer.} [Surat Al-Mujâdilah: 1]
{قَدْ سَمِعَ اللَّهُ قَوْلَ الَّتِي تُجَادِلُكَ فِيزَوْجِهَا وَتَشْتَكِي إِلَى اللَّهِ وَاللَّهُ يَسْمَعُ تَحَاوُرَكُمَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ سَمِيعٌ بَصِيرٌ} المجادلة: 1
Transliteration: Qad Sami`a Allāhu Qawla Allatī Tujādiluka Fī Zawjihā Wa Tashtakī 'Ilá Allāhi Wa Allāhu Yasma`u Taĥāwurakumā 'Inna Allāha Samī`un Başīrun
If your sadness is due to poverty and privation, be patient and rejoice as Allah Almighty says, {And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sâbirûn (the patient).} [Surat Al-Baqarah: 155]
{وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُمْ بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوفْ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الأَمَوَالِ وَالأنفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَاتِ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ} البقرة: 155
Transliteration: Wa Lanabluwannakum Bishay'in Mina Al-Khawfi Wa Al-Jū`i Wa Naqşin Mina Al-'Amwli Wa Al-'Anfusi Wa Ath-Thamarāti Wa Bashshiri Aş-Şābirīna
If your sadness is due to having few or no children, you should know that you are not the first one to be deprived from children and you are not responsible for creating them.
Allah Almighty says, {To Allâh belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills. [49]. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren whom He wills. Verily, He is the All-Knower and is Able to do all things.} [Surat Ash-Shûra: 49-50]
{لِلَّهِ مُلْكُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ يَخْلُقُ مَا يَشَاءُ يَهَبُ لِمَنْ يَشَاءُ إِنَاثاً وَيَهَبُ لِمَن يَشَاءُ الذُّكُورَ (49) أَوْ يُزَوِّجُهُمْ ذُكْرَاناً وَإِنَاثاً وَيَجْعَلُ مَن يَشَاءُ عَقِيماً} الشورى: 49-50
Transliteration: Lillāhi Mulku As-Samāwāti Wa Al-'Arđi Yakhluqu Mā Yashā'u Yahabu Liman Yashā'u 'Ināthāan Wa Yahabu Liman Yashā'u Adh-Dhukūra (49) 'Aw Yuzawwijuhum Dhukrānāan Wa 'Ināthāan Wa Yaj`alu Man Yashā'u `Aqīmāan
Are you the one who willed to be barren? Or is it Allah Who has made you like that by His will? Do you have the right to reject the wisdom of Allah and His will? Does your husband or any other one have the right to blame you for that matter? If he did so, he would be rejecting the will of Allah not you. In addition, he would be challenging the judgment of Allah and adjusting to His decision.
So what is the reason of sadness while to Him every matter is returned?
Do not be sad, O sister, no matter what your affliction is. Remember that what happens to you is a fate and that even if night is long, dawn will inevitably come.
My Muslim sister, I have brought for you some enlightening words to drive your distresses away. These words are the ultimate lessons of life, which is taken from the Prophetic guidance in order to lighten your way and enable you, Allah willing, to get rid of your sadness.
Firstly, be the daughter of the present [forget the past]
Try to take the following proverb as your slogan in life,
What has passed is over, what you wish for is unseen;
So, make use of the present, which you live.
Better and more beautiful than the previous poetic verses are the words of ibn 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with him and his father. He said, «If you survive till the evening, do not expect to be alive in the morning, and if you survive till the morning, do not expect to be alive in the evening, and take from your health for your sickness, and (take) from your life for your death.» [Reported by Al-Bukhari]
«إذا أمسيت فلا تنتظر الصباح، وإذا أصبحت فلا تنتظر المساء، وخذ من صحتك لمرضك، ومن حياتك لموتك» رواه البخاري
Forget the past no matter what its condition might be. Forget it and forget its sadness and grief. Remembering the past does not help you to cure the pains. On the contrary, it troubles your day and increases your distresses. You should imagine all the time that you live between two eras,
The first: is the past and it is surely over with all its delightful and painful memories. Thus, the past does not exist in reality as it passed and it does simply exist in your mind only. As it does not exist, the past does not deserve to be included in your distresses because it passed and ended, it is over.
The second: is the future and it is unseen and unknown. Therefore, it cannot be ruled by any kind of thought or any guesses of mind. On the contrary, it is unseen, which is mysterious and secret that no one can realize its essence. Allah says, {Say, "None in the heavens and the earth knows the Ghaib (Unseen) except Allâh, nor can they perceive when they shall be resurrected."} [Surat An-Naml: 65]
{قُل لَّا يَعْلَمُ مَن فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ الْغَيْبَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ} النمل:65
Transliteration: Qul Lā Ya`lamu Man Fī As-Samāwāti Wa Al-'Arđi Al-Ghayba 'Illā Allāhu
and He says, {and no person knows in what land he will die.} [Surat Luqmân: 34]
{وَمَا تَدْرِي نَفْسٌ بِأَيِّ أَرْضٍ تَمُوتُ} لقمان: 34
Transliteration: Wa Mā Tadrī Nafsun Bi'ayyi 'Arđin Tamūtu
Thus, the past is nothingness and the future is unknown.
Do not break your heart by sad memories that have passed, and do not forecast the worst that has not happened yet. Just live the present, second per second, hour per hour, and day per day.
Overlook and forget all the events of the past. Wipe out the traces of distresses and sadness. Do not pay attention to what will happen tomorrow. Be optimistic by the happy news and do not pass a situation in life without meditating on it.
Meditate on how the Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has sought refuge in Allah from worries and grief. He has said, «O Allah! I seek refuge with You from distress and sorrow, from helplessness and laziness, from miserliness and cowardice, from being heavily in debt, and from being overcome by men» [Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
«اللهم إني أعوذ بك من الهم والحزن، والعجز والكسل، والجبن والبخل، وقهر الدين وغلبة الرجال» رواه البخاري ومسلم
Sorrow is usually for the past unattainable matters, while distress is due to fear of future and being pessimistic towards it.
My Muslim sister! Enjoy the present moment of your life. Keep yourself busy with good deeds and occupy its moments by righteousness and reforming others. Make use of your time by performing prayers, remembering Allah, reciting the Noble Quran, acquiring knowledge, and doing favors for the sake of Allah so that you would find the reward on the Day of Judgment. Allah says, {On the Day when every person will be confronted with all the good he has done, and all the evil he has done, he will wish that there were a great distance between him and his evil.} [Surat A-'Imrân: 30]
{يَوْمَ تَجِدُ كُلُّ نَفْسٍ مَّا عَمِلَتْ مِنْ خَيْرٍ مُّحْضَراً وَمَا عَمِلَتْ مِن سُوَءٍ تَوَدُّ لَوْ أَنَّ بَيْنَهَا وَبَيْنَهُ أَمَداً بَعِيداً} آل عمران: 30
Transliteration: Yawma Tajidu Kullu Nafsin Mā `Amilat Min Khayrin Muĥđarāan Wa Mā `Amilat Min Sū'in Tawaddu Law 'Anna Baynahā Wa Baynahu 'Amadāan Ba`īdāan
Secondly, worship Allah with satisfaction
Do not be sad! Make the following supplication as your motto if any trial befalls you, "Truly! To Allâh we belong and truly, to Him we shall return. O Allah, reward me for my affliction and compensate me with something better than this." Utter these words upon the first shock by the affliction. This will convert the disaster into advantage, the ordeal into gift, and the catastrophe into blessing and bliss.
Meditate on the etiquette of the trial in the following verse in which Allah says, {And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sâbirûn (the patient). [155]. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say, "Truly! To Allâh we belong and truly, to Him we shall return." [156]. They are those on whom are the Salawât (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones.} [Surat Al-Baqarah: 155- 157]
{وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُمْ بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوفْ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الأَمَوَالِ وَالأنفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَاتِ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ (155) الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُواْ إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ (156) أُولَـئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ وَأُولَـئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ} البقرة: 155-157
Transliteration: Wa Lanabluwannakum Bishay'in Mina Al-Khawfi Wa Al-Jū`i Wa Naqşin Mina Al-'Amwli Wa Al-'Anfusi Wa Ath-Thamarāti Wa Bashshiri Aş-Şābirīna (155) Al-Ladhīna 'Idhā 'Aşābat/hum Muşībatun Qālū 'Innā Lillāhi Wa 'Innā 'Ilayhi Rāji`ūna (156) 'Ūlā'ika `Alayhim Şalawātun Min Rabbihim Wa Raĥmatun Wa 'Ūlā'ika Humu Al-Muhtadūna
So, say, "Truly! To Allâh we belong and truly, to Him we shall return," in the state of hunger and poverty, need and scarcity, and in sickness and calamity. In addition, take the glad tiding of mercy from Allah Alone.
Thirdly, realize the secret of trial
Do not be sad, O sister, as the trial is part and parcel of this life that all people, rich or poor, king or slave, a sent prophet, an honorable prince; all people will face afflictions either little or much. Allah says, {Verily, We have created man in toil.} [Surat Al-Balad: 4]
{لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا الْإِنسَانَ فِي كَبَدٍ} البلد: 4
Transliteration: Laqad Khalaqnā Al-'Insāna Fī Kabadin
It [life] is full of troubles while you want it
Totally free from evils and troubles.
This is life. It was mainly created for the trials. Allah says, {Who has created death and life that He may test you which of you is best in deed.} [Surat Al-Mulk: 2]
{الَّذِي خَلَقَ الْمَوْتَ وَالْحَيَاةَ لِيَبْلُوَكُمْ أَيُّكُمْ أَحْسَنُ عَمَلاً} الملك: 2
Transliteration: Al-Ladhī Khalaqa Al-Mawta Wa Al-Ĥayāata Liyabluwakum 'Ayyukum 'Aĥsanu `Amalāan
and He says, {And surely, We shall try you till We test those who strive hard (for the Cause of Allâh) and As-Sâbirûn (the patient),} [Surat Muhammad: 31]
{وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُمْ حَتَّى نَعْلَمَ الْمُجَاهِدِينَ مِنكُمْ وَالصَّابِرِينَ} محمد: 31
Transliteration: Wa Lanabluwannakum Ĥattá Na`lama Al-Mujāhidīna Minkum Wa Aş-Şābirīna
Thus, the secret of the trial is testing people in order to distinguish the one who strives to be rewarded and the patient to be recompensed.
Do not be sad and realize that each trial is like a test from Allah. So, be patient, think deeply, meditate and keep your temper as if there is a caller whispering to remind you, "now, you are in a new test," so; beware of failure.
Meditate on the saying of the Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, «If Allah wants to do good to a person; He makes him comprehend the religion» [Reported by Al-Bukhâri]
«من يرد الله به خيراً يفقه في الدين» رواه البخاري
and his saying, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, «If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials» [Reported by Al-Bukhâri]
«من يرد الله به خيراً يصب منه» رواه البخاري
Therefore, the seeker of knowledge and the one who is afflicted with the trials are the same in the good Allah wanted for them. Hence, it is a very important matter to realize.
As seeking knowledge is an honor which Allah wants for specific people, trial is an honor which Allah wants for the ones whom He loves. Through trials, Allah forgives sins, relieves troubles, and obliterates defects. Subsequently, He will bring about thereafter some new situation that is not expected.
Allah says, {You (the one who divorces his wife) know not it may be that Allâh will afterward bring some new thing to pass (i.e. to return her back to you if that was the first or second divorce).} [Surat At-Talâq: 1]
{لَا تَدْرِي لَعَلَّ اللَّهَ يُحْدِثُ بَعْدَ ذَلِكَ أَمْراً} الطلاق: 1
Transliteration: Lā Tadrī La`alla Allāha Yuĥdithu Ba`da Dhālika 'Amrāan
The Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, «If Allah loves some people, He will test them. Whoever is satisfied will gain the blessing of Allah, and whoever is dissatisfied will gain the anger of Allah» [Reported by Al-Bukhâri]
«إن الله إذا أحب قوماً ابتلاهم فمن رضي فله الرضى ومن سخط فله السخط» رواه البخاري
Fourthly, do not be worried
The ill will be healed, the absent will return, the sad will become happy, the suffering will be relieved, and the distress will be alleviated. This is the promise of Allah and He never breaks His promises. Allah says, {Verily, along with every hardship is relief, [5]. Verily, along with every hardship is relief (i.e. there is one hardship with two reliefs, so one hardship cannot overcome two reliefs).} [Surat Ash-Sharh: 5- 6]
{فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْراً (5) إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْراً} الشرح: 5-6
Transliteration: Fa'inna Ma`a Al-`Usri Yusrāan (5) 'Inna Ma`a Al-`Usri Yusrāan
Do not be sad as Allah has repeated the relief in the verse to fill your heart with confidence and to relieve your mind.
Relief, as night is followed by the Dawn, will follow the hardship.
There may be a trouble which man will be fed up with,
And Allah is the only One Who can relieve him from it;
when it [life] became severe and tightened,
It was relieved at the time when I thought it would never be relieved.
There may be a trouble which man will be fed up with,
And Allah is the only One Who can relieve him from it;
when it [life] became severe and tightened,
It was relieved at the time when I thought it would never be relieved.
Fifthly, Make Allah Almighty your main concern
Dear sister, when you are in complete distress, divert your main concern towards heavens. The Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, «Whoever makes his worries about just one thing - the Appointed Day [of Resurrection] - then Allah will suffice him from the rest of his worries. And whoever has his worries branching off from the affairs of this World, and then Allah will not care in which valley he dies» [Sahîh Al-Jâmi': 6189]
«من جعل الهموم هماً واحداً هم المعاد، كفاه الله سائر همومه، ومن تشعبت به الهموم من أحوال الدنيا لم يبال الله في أي أوديتها هلك» صحيح الجامع: 6189
Do not be sad, as your livelihood and fate are predestined. In addition, the matters of this worldly life do not deserve all these worries because all of them surely will come to an end. Allah says, {And the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment.} [Surat Al-Hadîd: 20]
{وَمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ} الحديد: 20
Transliteration: Wa Mā Al-Ĥayāatu Ad-Dunyā 'Illā Matā`u Al-Ghurūri
If you are in troubles, resort to Allah and utter the following supplications, (Allah, O Allah is my Lord and I do not associate with Him anyone), (O Ever Living, O Sustainer, by Your mercy I seek help) and (My Lord! Indeed, I am overpowered, so help). These are Islamic supplications by which sins are forgiven, problems are solved, obstacles are cleared, and hardships are eased.
Seek tranquility through frequently seeking forgiveness. Seek forgiveness sincerely once, twice, hundred, two hundred and thousand times. Do not limit seeking forgiveness
Seek tranquility through frequently seeking forgiveness. Seek forgiveness sincerely once, twice, hundred, two hundred and a thousand times. Do not limit seeking forgiveness to a certain number, and feel the sweetness of seeking forgiveness and turning to Allah in repentance. Allah says, {Truly, Allâh loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly their private parts, bodies, for their prayers).} [Surat Al-Baqarah: 222]
{إِنَّ اللّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ وَيُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ} البقرة: 222
Transliteration: 'Inna Allāha Yuĥibbu At-Tawwābīna Wa Yuĥibbu Al-Mutaţahhirīna
Seek tranquility through the remembrance of Allah by glorifying Him (saying: subhân-allâh), by saying that there is no god but Allah (lâ ilâha illa allâh), by asking Allah to send His Salât (Graces, Honors, Blessings, Mercy) upon Prophet Muhammad, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, and by reciting the Noble Quran. Allah says, {verily, in the remembrance of Allâh do hearts find rest} [Surat Ar-Ra'd: 28]
{أَلاً بِذِكْرِ اللّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ} الرعد: 28
Transliteration: 'Alā Bidhikri Allāhi Taţma'innu Al-Qulūbu
and, {And We send down of the Qur’ân that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe (in Islâmic Monotheism and act on it),} [Surat Al-Isrâ': 82]
{وَنُنَزِّلُ مِنَ الْقُرْآنِ مَا هُوَ شِفَاء وَرَحْمَةٌ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ} الإسراء: 82
Transliteration: Wa Nunazzilu Mina Al-Qur'āni Mā Huwa Shifā'un Wa Raĥmatun Lilmu'uminīna
Do not be sad and hasten to Allah by supplicating Him. Do not be weak as the Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, «The most unable person is the one who is unable to pray (invoke, supplicate, ask Allah)» [Authenticated by Al Albani]
«أعجز الناس من عجز عن الدعاء» صححه الألباني
Implore Allah sincerely at the dark nights and after prayers. Turn to Him when you are alone, crying in fear and hope and asking persistently for His relief, protection and support. In addition, beg His mercy once, twice and ten times since He loves those who persist on supplication. Allah says, {And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor).} [Surat Al-Baqarah: 186]
{وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ} البقرة: 186
Transliteration: Wa 'Idhā Sa'alaka `Ibādī `Annī Fa'innī Qarībun 'Ujību Da`wata Ad-Dā`i 'Idhā Da`āni
Do not be sad and do not despair. Allah says, {Certainly no one despairs of Allâh’s Mercy, except the people who disbelieve."} [Surat Yusuf: 87]
{إِنَّهُ لاً يَيْأَسُ مِن رَّوْحِ اللّهِ إِلاَّ الْقَوْمُ الْكَافِرُونَ} يوسف: 87
Transliteration: 'Innahu Lā Yay'asu Min Rawĥi Allāhi 'Illā Al-Qawmu Al-Kāfirūna
The darkness will fade away and the distress will vanish. The smile will be back; so wait for it with patience. Call it through supplication and remembrance. Have good trust in Allah, and He will be as you think He is.
Prayers and peace of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon all his family and companions.
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