WOMEN, SOCIETY AND A VIRTUOUS CONDUCT

(NEW)

Being part of the society in which we are existing, the expression/thought of modesty and righteousness may appear to be outmoded. Today's woman, though modern, cultured and unshackled, is more oppressed than any woman in the most culturally oppressive village in Afghanistan. The oppression does not mean an inability to choose one's clothing, one's life style or one's friends. The oppression is our inability to see the ingresses being made in the peace and tranquillity of a chaste society and unearth the real face of the crumbling society. The oppression is an idea that a woman's beauty is public and that beauty admiration is equal to respect.

      If one can step out of this society/circle in which he/she lives one may be able to see the reality, which, being part of the society/circle, one cannot see. One cannot analyse that the highest paid woman are those who expose themselves to the public display, like actresses, models and even strip-tease dancers. If some how it becomes possible to detach oneself from the society/circle for some time, one will be able to see that the relationship between men and women is unfairly stacked in the men's direction. A woman dresses to attract man and lives in a false state of living according to her own wishes, or living the way she feels like. It is a painful reality, even if one does not believe in it, that the woman feels pleased when she is admired by a man, and a man admires a woman who exposes herself to him, in keeping with his impious needs. It is not liberty, it can, however, be termed as exploitation of women by men, the exploitation taken by women as approbation. There is no way for a person to know that he is dirty if he has never been clean, similarly the oppressed person will never know about oppression till he/ she comes out of the darkness of that oppression. It is not oppression to protect yourself and society; instead oppression is to voluntarily throw yourself into the quagmire while denying it is dirty. A woman should be judged by society for her mind, soul and heart instead of loveliness and hype. A woman can make people respect herself by her self-respecting attitude, by refusing to become a source of hilarity and pleasure for the lewd men. A thinking mind, an insightful heart and an untainted soul should be able to analyse the events and adopt a suitable life style rather than following what is happening in the society or what is in vogue. The (metaphorically) ignorant, deaf, dumb, blind and void of wisdom, insist on doing what their forefathers had been doing "even though their fathers were void of wisdom and guidance"¹. Ask the prettiness and loveliness saga from the women who have crossed the age of being stunning, pretty or appealing, a woman who has crossed the age of having an attractive body, irrespective of beauty of her character and spirit. 

      A woman should be able to carry out an in-depth analysis of the dress, outfit and interaction with the men, in vogue in the society and assess the genesis of the attire, costume and relation with men. She may discover certain sneaky facts, which were, perhaps, not known to her. Why a woman is lured to put on dresses wherein she is exposed to the men? The modern women may deny the fact and claim these dresses as their own choice out of their own free will etc. but the truth remains unchanged, that, it is only to quench the immodest desires of the male. Man has duped woman by ensnaring them in a magnificence/approbation syndrome. Has, ever, a man praised a good heart a clean soul and a chaste character of a woman; conversely, beauty of a woman is admired because it suits the lecherous desires of a man. Its time for us, the members of society, to take an account of our deeds and re-establish the forgotten principles concerning the good and the bad and adopt a way of life which will take us out of the quagmire in which the society is sinking at the moment. 

      The virtuous women are advised to "lower their gaze, guard their modesty and they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof. They should cover themselves well (with care), cast their outer garments over their persons (when outside): that is most convenient that they should be known as such and not molested. They should not be seen (without a careful covering of themselves) except to their husbands their fathers their husbands' fathers their sons their husbands' sons their brothers or their brothers' sons or their sisters' sons or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. They should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments"². "Such elderly women who have passed the prospect of marriage there is no blame on them if they lay aside their (outer) garments provided they make not a wanton display of their beauty: but it is best for them to be modest"³.  Such women will attain bliss. "Impure women are for impure men and impure men are for impure women; and women of purity are for men of purity and men of purity are for women of purity"⁴. The most reverential women are the ones "who believe in God, devout, true, patient, constant, humble, who give charity, who fast (and deny themselves),  who guard their chastity and who engage much in God's praise for them has God  prepared forgiveness and great reward"^5. A reward much valuable than few dollars.

      For a sterilized society, the most valuable object is chastity, of men and women, at all times, before marriage, during marriage and after the dissolution of marriage. Those guilty of illicit practices must be shutout of the marriage circle of chaste men and women. A woman deserves to be protected with great care; the worst are the ones who humiliate women through putting forward slanders or scandalous suggestions about them without adequate sanity. "If anything is said against a woman's chastity, it should be supported by evidence twice as strong as would ordinarily be required for business transactions, or even in murder cases.  Failing such preponderating evidence, the slanderer should himself be treated as a wicked transgressor and punished severely"⁶. Slandering "chaste women and chaste men, must be punished, however slandering women is more abhorrent.

      As mothers, best of the women are the one who, instead of doing what is done in society, can teach their child (the future of society/mankind):- "O my child!" if there be the weight of a mustard-seed and it were hidden in a rock or anywhere in the heavens or on earth it will be brought forth one day, so take an account of your deeds. "O my child "enjoin what is just and forbid what is wrong: and bear with patient constancy whatever happens to you; for this is firmness of purpose in the conduct of affairs. "And swell not your cheek (for pride) at human beings nor walk in insolence through the earth; because arrogance is detrimental and you can neither split the earth asunder nor reach the mountains in height. "And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; for the harshest of sounds, without doubt, is the braying of the ass. "Do you not see that all things in the skies and on earth flow to you in exceeding measure (both) seen and unseen? Yet there are among the people who do not understand and deny the facts, in arrogance, without knowledge and without guidance" ⁷. You must understand that there is only one reality and "whatever else is invoked besides that, is falsehood"⁸. That reality is most high, most great, exalted in power, full of wisdom and "if all the trees on earth were pens and the ocean were ink with seven oceans behind it to add to its supply, yet that reality would not be exalted (in the writing)"⁹. That reality is the one who speaks to one of his beloved humans, son of a chosen woman (chosen above the women of all nations), "O Jesus the son of Mary! Recount my favor to you and to your mother.  Behold! I strengthened you with the Holy Spirit so that you speak to the people in childhood and in maturity. Behold! I taught you the Book and Wisdom the Law and the Gospel. And behold! You make out of clay as it were the figure of a bird by My permission and your breath into it and it become a bird by My permission and you heal those born blind and the lepers by My permission. And behold! You bring forth the dead by My permission"¹⁰.

      The most honorable members of a society are the ones who (instead of admiration hunt) "humble themselves, avoid vain talk and are active in deeds of kindness. These are the ones who abstain from sex, except with those joined to them in the marriage bond (but those whose desires exceed those limits are transgressors). These are the ones who faithfully observe their trust and their covenants"¹¹. "These are the ones who walk on the earth in humility and when the ignorant address them they honorably avoid them. These are the ones who spend (complete or portion of) the night in adoration, in thinking and in a positive meditation. These are the ones who wish and strive to avert, from them, the wrath of grievous affliction (which is) evil indeed as an abode and as a place to rest in. These are the ones who, when spend, are not extravagant and not niggardly but they hold a just balance between those extremes. These are the ones who do not slay life as it has been made sacred except for just cause. These are the ones who do not commit fornication (and anyone that does this not only meets punishment but he dwell in ignominy. unless one repents, believes and works righteous deeds. Some day evil of such persons may be chanced into good). These are the ones who witness no falsehood and if they pass by futility they pass by it with honorable avoidance. These are the ones who when are advised with the truth, droop not down as if they were deaf or blind"¹². These are the people who, "when listen to the truth, you will see their eyes overflowing with tears for they recognize the truth: they pray: "Our Lord! We believe; write us down among the witnesses"¹³. These are the ones "who wish to be granted unto them offspring who will be the comfort of their eyes and they desire to lead the righteous. These are the ones who will be rewarded with the highest place because of their patient constancy; therein shall they be met with salutations and peace"¹⁴. Salutations and peace from someone, there is "none other like him. He knows (all things) both secret and open; he is most gracious and most merciful. There is someone, there is none other like him the sovereign the holy one the source of peace and perfection.  The guardian the preserver of safety the exalted in might the irresistible the supreme: glory to him! (High is he). There is someone, there is none other like him the creator the evolver the bestower of forms or colors.  To him belong the most beautiful names: whatever is in the skies and on earth declares his praises and glory: and he is the exalted in might the wise"¹⁵.

      We may find our lost direction if we are aware of establishing a contact with God and the heartfelt approach of making a yearning, let all the human beings make a supplication that, "praise be to the one who is the cherisher and sustainer of the worlds, most gracious most merciful, and master of the day of judgment. Only you we adore and only your aid we seek. Show us the straight way. The way of those on whom you have bestowed your grace those whose (portion) is not wrath and who go not astray¹⁶. "Blessed are you, who made constellations in the skies and placed therein a light and a moon giving light. And it is you who made the night and the day to follow each other for such as they have the will to celebrate your praises or to show their gratitude"¹⁷. "You are the light of the heavens and the earth.  The parable of your light is as if there were a niche and within it a light: the light enclosed in glass: the glass as it were a brilliant star: lit from a blessed tree, an olive neither of the east nor of the west whose oil is well-nigh luminous though fire scarce touched it: light upon light! You guide whom you will, to your light"¹⁸. "O lord of power and rule you give power to whom you please and you strip off power from whom you please. You provide with honor whom you please and you bring low whom you please. In your hand is all good.  Verily over all things you have power. You cause the night to gain on the day and you cause the day to gain on the night. You bring the living out of the dead and you bring the dead out of the living; and you give sustenance to whom you please without measure"¹⁹. "On no soul you place a burden greater than it can bear.  It gets every good that it earns and it suffers every ill that it earns. "Our Lord! Don't condemn us if we forget or fall into error; our Lord! Don't lay on us a burden like that which you did lay on those before us; Our Lord! Don't lay on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear.  Blot out our sins and grant us forgiveness.  Have mercy on us.  You are our Protector; help us against those who stand against faith"²⁰.

     What has been happening to the women in the past is nothing but absurdity. "Whenever news of the birth of a female child used to be brought to one of the fathers, his face would darken and he would be filled with inward grief. With shame he used to hide himself from people because of the bad news he has had! Shall he retain it on sufferance and contempt or bury it in the dust? Ah! What an evil choice they would decide on"²¹. Surely your place is not what a man of today decides for you or what an ignorant father of dark ages used to do. O, woman come back, find and insist on your right place in society, a place of respect dignity and security. O, woman you should be respected for your mind, your heart, your soul and your dignity. You are the nucleus of the society around which everything orbits, a scarlet thread of the social fabric. You are not for looking good to men, therefore, don't be a slave to a man's desires. Think and rethink you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

           You can still come back, as someone assures you, "when people ask concerning me I am indeed close to them, I listen to the yearning of every suppliant when he calls me"²². "O human being! What has seduced you from your lord most beneficent? He who created you, fashioned you in due proportion and gave you a just bias; in whatever form he wills does he put you together"²³. Remember a day is ordained to appear when the evildoer will say "It was God who gave you a promise of truth: I too promised but I failed in my promise to you.  I had no authority over you except to call you but you listened to me: then reproach not me but reproach your own souls.  I cannot listen to your cries nor can you listen to mine"²⁴.   
 

     Notes