Our Children After Ramadan

Taamir and Afnaan sat with their parents in the living room having their lunch after Ramadan and ‘Eed had passed. Afnaan said to her father, "My father, why does Ramadan come only once?" The father replied, "I feel that you are attached to this blessed month, Afnaan." Taamir immediately said, "Yes, my father, we were competing in acts of worship and encouraging each other to pray and fast." The father then advised them saying, "You are right, but you should know that Allaah The Almighty accepts one's good deeds in Ramadan as well as in other months, and that the Lord of Ramadan is also the Lord of Shawwaal and all the other months."

Dear man who is responsible for the nurturing process, this simple dialogue between the father and his children expressed what goes on in the hearts of many children - even if their tongues do not translate it into explicit words and phrases. They feel that Ramadan has moved on with everything good in it.

Dear man who is responsible for the nurturing process, the month of the Quran and competition in good deeds has passed, but you must nevertheless teach your children that Ramadan is not the only month of worship that comes and leaves with its worship. No, rather, Ramadan is the month of change.

Building vs. outburst

Dear man who is responsible for the nurturing process, you must teach your children that Ramadan is the month of building faith, and not an outburst of faith. By an outburst of faith, I mean that the Muslim performs many acts of worship in Ramadan, and when it ends, he returns to his former state of negligence. Concerning this category of people, Allaah The Almighty Says:

{...وَلَا تَكُونُوا كَالَّتِي نَقَضَتْ غَزْلَهَا مِنْ بَعْدِ قُوَّةٍ أَنْكَاثًا }

 "Translation"{And do not be like she who untwisted her spun thread after it was strong...} [Quran 16:92]

This verse likens the relationship of a group of people with Allaah The Almighty to a woman who started spinning a garment, and when she finished and produced it in the best style and fashion, she untwisted the fibers to become thread again and destroyed all her work that she painstakingly done. Building, however, implies performing a new act of worship that we did not do before Ramadan and maintaining its performance throughout the year till the following Ramadan comes. By doing so, the Muslim is in a continuous state of development. This is because it is a sign that Allaah The Almighty has accepted man's act of worship when He favors him with continuous worship after it. In other words, being steadfast on an act of worship is a sign of its acceptance.

Dear honorable man who is responsible for the nurturing process, if we held several sessions in which we taught our children prayers, fasting, generosity and other acts of worship in the past blessed month, we would have successfully utilized the child's high susceptibility to learning and change in Ramadan. The sign of your success in changing your child, however, is his steadfastness on the act of worship that you taught him even after Ramadan.

The way to steadfastness

Dear honorable man who is responsible for the nurturing process, we know that the sign of your child's change in Ramadan is his steadfastness in doing an act of worship that had not previously done, like prayer. In order to help your child constantly observe the acts of worship after Ramadan, try to follow these major rules:

First: Be a good role model for him. It was said that, "An action of one man in front of one thousand men is more effective than the saying of a thousand men to one man." Your child will not constantly observe an act of worship unless you are performing it regularly. There is no harm in taking him with you when you pray, or informing him that you are fasting, so that he will take you as a role model and an example. You should know that the children's eyes are uninterruptedly pinned on the actions of their parents, and Allaah The Almighty forbade us from behaving differently from what we say; He The Almighty Says:

{أَتَأْمُرُونَ النَّاسَ بِالْبِرِّ وَتَنْسَوْنَ أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَأَنْتُمْ تَتْلُونَ الْكِتَابَ أَفَلَا تَعْقِلُونَ}

"Translation" {Do you order righteousness of the people and forget yourselves while you recite the Scripture? Then will you not reason?} [Quran 2:44]

Second: The Masjid (Mosque) is essential. Dear man who is responsible for the nurturing process, although you and your wife greatly influence your child, the influence of his friends is greater. This is because the child responds to his parents out of love and fear, but he responds to his friends in the Masjid out of love and conviction only. Furthermore, the believer increases one's faith when he gathers with others for worship. Allaah The Almighty addressed the Prophet and every Muslim to stay with righteous people; He The Almighty Says:

{وَاصْبِرْ نَفْسَكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ رَبَّهُمْ بِالْغَدَاةِ وَالْعَشِيِّ يُرِيدُونَ وَجْهَهُ وَلَا تَعْدُ عَيْنَاكَ عَنْهُمْ تُرِيدُ زِينَةَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَلَا تُطِعْ مَنْ أَغْفَلْنَا قَلْبَهُ عَنْ ذِكْرِنَا وَاتَّبَعَ هَوَاهُ وَكَانَ أَمْرُهُ فُرُطًا}

{And keep yourself (O Muhammad SAW) patiently with those who call on their Lord (i.e. your companions who remember their Lord with glorification, praising in prayers, etc., and other righteous deeds, etc.) morning and afternoon, seeking His Face, and let not your eyes overlook them, desiring the pomp and glitter of the life of the world; and obey not him whose heart We have made heedless of Our Remembrance, one who follows his own lusts and whose affair (deeds) has been lost.}[Quran 18:28]

Practical tips to help your child be steadfast on worship

1- Use the method of praising whenever you see your child perform prayers regularly or hastening to do an act of worship that he began doing in Ramadan. It is preferable that you praise him before his friends and peers or during family gatherings. Praise has a great impact on the spirit of children. For instance, when the family gathers after Ramadan, tell them in his presence, "Do you know that Taamir started to pray since the past Ramadan and he learned it perfectly?"

2- Use the method of evaluation forms in which the child marks the box of the prayer he performs, and whenever his performance is steady and improving, you can reward him, even by giving him a simple gift.

3- Regularly remind him of the reward of the act of worship he has learnt and the great merit that Allaah The Almighty has prepared for the one who does it. Mention a Quranic verse or a Hadeeth concerning this act from time to time, and if you know a story of young Companions or Taabi‘oon (their successors) who constantly observed this worship, relate it to him.

Dear Muslim, if your child does not get anything from Ramadan except this act of worship that he has learned, you have attained a great achievement. May Allaah make your child a comfort for your eyes and the eyes of your wife!