The Driver: Evils and Perils
Since 2012-11-26
The boldness of some Muslim in leaving their women ride with strangers; marriageable non-mahrim men is a great abominable action that shocks the people of religion who have a sense of honor.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
All the praises and thanks be to Allah, the Lord of the ‘Alamîn (mankind, jinn and all that exists). And peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his family and companions.
The boldness of some Muslim in leaving their women ride with strangers; marriageable non-mahrim men is a great abominable action that shocks the people of religion who have a sense of honor. It is a clear violation to the saying of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, “no man is to be alone with a woman, as the Devil will be their third.” [Authenticated by Al-Albani]
«لا يخلون رجل بامرأة إلا كان ثالثهما الشيطان» صححه الألباني
He, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has also said: “Beware of entering upon the ladies.” A man from Al-Ansar said: O Messenger of Allah! What about Al-Hamu (the in-laws of the wife (the brothers of her husband or his nephews etc.))?” The Prophet replied: The in-laws of the wife are death itself.” [Agreed upon]
«إياكم والدخول على النساء. فقال رجل من الأنصار: يا رسول الله، أفرأيت الحمو؟ قال: الحمو الموت» متفق عليه
If such Hadiths were directed to the companions of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him,, who are the best of people after the prophets, by whom Allah has promoted Islam, and if a brother-in-law is not allowed to enter the house of his brother in his absence but with the presence of muhrim (unmarriageable man like the father, the son, the maternal or parental uncle, etc.), so why do some people enable men -whom they do not know their religion, and some of which may be unbelievers, God forbid- to be alone with their women in the house or the car? Do not they know that this is forbidden and considered as belittling to their manhood?
It is strange that if a wife of one of such men asks him to let one of the neighbors give her a lift by car, he will be very angry and will completely and utterly refuse that. A hired driver, however, is allowed to be alone with her and to drive her to any place she wants. How strange! Is such a driver not of responsible age? Is his lust non-existent? Is he an animal that is not from the humankind and that he has no human instinct? What then? Some men travel the whole world from east to west without being tired or bored. However, he is, alas, unable to take his wife or daughter to markets, schools and the like. He, nevertheless, says coldly go with the driver. Some go to deposit his money in banks. If one of them is asked to let the driver deposit such money, he refuses and says, “Am I crazy to give my money to the driver?” “I will go myself!” But he does not say that he is crazy to let his wife and daughters go with the driver. He says to them go with the driver anywhere and anytime! As for the money, he goes himself to deposit it in order not to be lost, but his women have become more dispensable than money.
I protect my honor with money, I do not tarnish it; Allah will not bless money when honor is lost. Some are not only satisfied to allow their wives to go alone with the drivers; but that they even allow drivers into the bottom of the houses, as if they were family members and such women were unmarriageable to them. It is not known whether this is stupidity or indifference of such men; or that maybe the fire of honor has extinguished in their hearts? In addition, some women are not satisfied to ride alone with drivers. Some are excessive in riding shamelessly beside the driver in the front seat. Her shoulder may be near the driver’s shoulder. This is an ugly appearance, a clear case of a cuckold, shamelessness and absent honor. Due to such easiness with drivers, some women become shameless and see drivers with unrealistic eyes. A lot of women do not abide by decency and veiling well before him; and that they do not become shy from his glances, as if he were not a man.
One of the hurtful scenes that has been spread due to the disappearance of shyness and lack of faith is the getting out of the driver with the woman and walking side by side in markets as if he were her brother, husband or father. His body may be close to her body. He may stand beside her and open the door, so he may see a part of her body while she is getting in. A gloomy scene that makes one weeps. By Allah one is really very astonished, how easily shyness has been deprived from these women that they have reached to such low and decayed level!! The more astonishing is the condition of the men who are the protectors and maintainers of such women.
Where are their minds?
Where is their faith?
Where is their honor?
How could the belief, honor and manhood of a person allow him to let one of his women (wife, daughter, sister, etc.) go with the driver to anywhere without knowing what would happen to her while being alone with him. Even if nothing would happen, how can he accept to see a man with his wife or daughter alone in a car in a suspicious seclusion, driving her along the roads, as if she were a piece of valueless furniture.
O you who hire foreign workers, where is your honor about your women?
Where is the Arab nature?
Where is fear of shame and scandal?
Pre-Islamic polytheists were burying girls alive for fear of shame and scandal, so why do you bring them to your houses by your hands? In the pre-Islamic period, Arabs considered women as the sign of their honor, so they did their best to protect, preserve and defend them as a wife, daughter, mother, sister, relative and neighbor to keep their honor intact; away from violation.
Ardor for honor is a human morality by which Allah has created people. In the past, people were born with it as if they had sucked it with mothers’ milk. Only noble men and women are praised with honor. The clarity of religion and beauty of humanity are clear by protecting and respecting honor. By staining it, man is degraded to the lowest levels.
Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “If jealousy over honor leaves the heart, the whole religion will leave. This who is deprived of jealousy is deprived of the purity of life and this that is deprived of the purity of life is lower than animals.”
A poet said:
Some men are animals in the shape of a hearing and seeing man
He is sagacious if money is afflicted but senseless if honor is hurt
Some established evils and perils from the presence of a driver with women
Willy-nilly, some legitimate religious evils and perils will take place; they include:
1 - It is a publicly announcement of the act of disobedience. The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has said “all my nation are forgiven except those who commit sins openly.” [Reported by al-Bukhari]
«كل أمتي معافى إلا المجاهرين» رواه البخاري
2 - Being alone with a woman which is forbidden; this who has brought the driver is the reason for such sin.
3 - Women ride with him to go for any occasion while being perfumed which is also forbidden. The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has said: “If a woman puts on perfume and passes by some people to find her fragrance is an adulteress.” [Declared good by Al-Albani]
«أيما امرأة استعطرت فمرت على قوم ليجدوا ريحها فهي زانية» حسنه الألباني
These women do not pass by men, they rather sit beside them, which is a greater sin and more seductive.
4 - Women’s going alone with drivers encourages dissolute men to address and molest them inside cars as they are seen alone without a guardian or a custodian. They, therefore, covet and become assure in molesting them. This has been noticed too much.
5 - The presence of a driver makes it easy for women to go out; so, they go out many times. Going out frequently is a means of the corruption of women and the vanishing of their shyness which mainly prevents them from committing abominations. In addition, the frequent riding of a woman lonely with a driver for long times in a car may remove the formalities between them, so the Devil finds an easy way to her, especially as women have weak minds and religion. She may also spend long times before seductive matters such as movies and series that give rise to instincts and move desires. If such matters are gathered for a woman, she then is ready to fall in forbidden matters, except those whom Allah protects.
Be careful about that, my Muslim brother, and do not be deceived by the ugly shape, the tenderness of the heart or the naivety of the driver. Do not be deceived that he is a poor man and cannot do anything that causes him to be fired; or that the woman cannot think about him. The Devil adorns ugliness and makes matters easy due to the many associations and the removal of formalities. It was said that “too many touches kill senses.”
The daughter of al-Khas was asked: why did you commit adultery with your slave and did not do that with a free man and what had enticed you? She said: the long black [nights] and the near pillows; i.e. the frequent seeing of him and the nearness of his place and lodging. Can we pay good attention to that and wake up from our heedlessness. How many heart-bleeding disasters have occurred because of those drivers! Unfortunately many people are not affected with the disasters of others until they themselves get involved in such disasters. If a man hears any of such disasters, he may shake his head only in disapproval and astonishment. He does not change anything of his reality. He does not even imagine that such matter can happen to him as if he is inerrant.
How strange these men are! How have they become negligent to such a degree? How could they not expect to be afflicted as other men have been afflicted? They have, themselves, prepared all the means that lead to such disasters by neglecting and leaving their women to do what they wish and to go alone with drivers at any time at day or night without controlling.
If man does not expect to face any of the scandals we hear about each now and then, so from where have come those women who have fallen and are falling in these scandals? Have they come from another planet, or have they come out from the bottom of the earth? They have come out from the houses of Muslims. Does a man have to wait until his wife or daughter inform him that they have committed so and so with the driver or any other person to pay attention and wake up from his slumber?
O men: O you who have neglected your women, wake up from your slumber and fear Allah in your women. Your honors are as your souls and you have ignored that too much that you have neglected looking after them, you have lost the trust and exposed yourselves to danger. You do not destroy except yourselves but you do not perceive that.
Responsibility of women
My Muslim sister: man does not individually bear the responsibility and guilt in your riding alone with the driver. You are also responsible and sinful for your remissness towards your religion and shyness and your riding alone with a man who is not your muhrim. It is not worthy of you as a Muslim woman who knows the ruling of her Lord in such matter. Beware and repent to your Lord from such action. Follow your antecedent righteous women in their great shyness and strong adherence to religion. Listen to Asma’ bint Abu Bakr As-Siddîq, may Allah be pleased with her and her father. She said: “one day I went to the land of Az-Zubair (her husband) which the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has granted to him to work in. One day I was carrying kernels over my head and returned home. On the way, I met the Messenger of Allah with a number of the Ansâr. The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, saw what I was carrying. He called upon me and made the camel kneel down to carry me. I was shy to ride with him and to walk with men. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, recognized that (my shyness) so he went on and left me. I went on my way till I reached the house!” [Reported by Al-Bukhari]
«كنت أنقل النوى من أرض الزبير التي أقطعه رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم على رأسي، وهي مني على ثلثي فرسخ، فجئت يوما والنوى على رأسي، فلقيت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ومعه نفر من الأنصار، فدعاني ثم قال: (إخ إخ). ليحملني خلفه، قاستحييت أن أسير مع الرجال، وذكرت الزبير وغيرته وكان أغير الناس، فعرف رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أني قد استحييت فمضى» رواه البخاري
Behold, my Muslim sister, her great shyness, behold: where are you from that? She, may Allah be pleased with her, did not agree to ride with the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, who is the best, the purest, the most honest and most chaste person ever, who was with his companions who are the best of this nation after him, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, all that is out of shyness and chastity. How could you care less about yourself and ride alone with every Tom, Dick and Harry, either with the family driver or the taxi driver? You ride with a man whom you know nothing about his religion, honesty or nature; is yourself so cheap for you?
Where is your shyness?
Where is your mind?
Have you lost it? Wake up my sister and protect yourself. Do not be indulgent towards your religion and shyness for a transient life. If it is necessary to ride with a driver, it is then to be with an unmarriageable man or with another woman, in order to avoid being in seclusion with the male driver.
Finally, we do not ask people to dispense with drivers. We know that there are persons who are in real need for that and that there are a lot of children and the like. There are, however, some other people who do not have a dire need for hired drivers. They can do without them at any time, if they wish, without disturbing their businesses and times. What has made them bring the drivers in the first place is the love of imitation and boasting; or only because of laziness in taking care of the affairs of their children and fulfilling their families’ needs. Those are the ones who are asked to do without drivers. It is better for those who are in need for drivers to bring old drivers or drivers with their wives and not to allow women to ride alone with them. They must have an unmarriageable male or at least another woman with them. The driver is also not to be allowed to enter upon women. There must be disciplines in the going of women with him in suitable times and upon necessity only, as this is safer and away from suspicion and from falling in committing forbidden matters. May Allah help us all to do what pleases and satisfies Him. Allah knows best.
And peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his family and companions.
Ibn Khuzaymah House
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