And That You Be Dutiful To Your Parents

Since 2012-11-26

Verily the right of parents is great, Allah Glorified and Exalted has joined it to His right, and the texts of the Quran and Sunnah have cooperated to encourage being dutiful to them, shedding light on their right and warning against being undutiful to th

All praise and thanks be to Allah, and peace and blessings of Allah be upon he whom there is no other Prophet after him.

 
Verily the right of parents is great, Allah Glorified and Exalted has joined it to His right, and the texts of the Quran and Sunnah have cooperated to encourage being dutiful to them, shedding light on their right and warning against being undutiful to them.
 
Oh my Muslim brother, here are between your hands some of the virtues of dutifulness to the parents and the prohibition of being undutiful to them:
 
1- Allah has joined their right to His right: Allah Almighty has said: {And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents.} [Surat Al-Isrâ’ 17:23],
 
{ وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا} الإسراء: 23
 
Transliteration: Waqada rabbuka alla taAAbudoo illaiyyahu wabialwalidayni ihsanan 
 
and Allah Almighty has also said: {give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination} [Surat Luqmân 31:14].
 
{أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ } لقمان: 14
 
 

 

Transliteration: ani oshkur lee waliwalidayka ilayya almaseeru
 
2- Allah has commanded to accompany them and be charitable to them even if they are disbelievers: Allah Almighty has said: {But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not;} [Surat Luqmân: 15],
 
{وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا} لقمان: 15
 
 

 

Transliteration: Wain jahadaka AAala an tushrika bee malaysa laka bihi AAilmun fala tutiAAhuma
 
and in Sahih Muslim, it is narrated by Asmâ’ bint Abu Bakr that: “My mother came to me, while she was a disbeliever, During the period of the peace treaty of Quraish with the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, I took the opinion of the Messenger of Allah. I said: my mother came to me desiring – she was hoping for my favor - shall I keep good relations with her?” He replied: “Yes, keep good relation with your mother” [Agreed upon].
 
«قدمت علي أمي وهي مشركة، في عهد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم، فاستفتيت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم، قلت: إن أمي قدمت وهي راغبة، أفأصل أمي؟ قال: نعم، صلي أمك» متفق عليه
 
3- Being dutiful to them is from the Jihad (any striving for the cause of Allah): It is narrated by ‘Abdullah bin Amr that: A man came to Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, to ask for his permission to participate in Jihad. The Prophet has asked him: “Are your parents alive?” The man said: Yes. The Prophet replied: “then perform Jihad by looking for their benefit (your Jihad is being dutiful to them)” [Agreed upon].
 
«جاء رجل إلى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يستأذنه في الجهاد. فقال: أحي والداك؟ قال: نعم. قال: ففيهما فجاهد» متفق عليه
 
 
In some Hadith, being dutiful to parents is prior to Jihad. Ibn Mas’ud narrated in a Hadith that: I said: I asked the Prophet: “Oh Messenger of Allah which deed is the dearest to Allah?” He replied: “To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times.” I asked: “What is the next (in goodness)?” He replied, “To be good and dutiful to your parents” I further asked: “What is the next (in goodness)?” He replied: ‘‘To participate in jihad in Allah’s cause.” [Agreed upon].
 
«سألت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم، قلت: يا رسول الله، أي العمل أفضل؟ قال: الصلاة على ميقاتها. قلت: ثم أي؟ قال: ثم بر الوالدين. قلت: ثم أي؟ قال: الجهاد في سبيل الله» متفق عليه
 
4- Being obedient to them is one of the causes leading to Paradise: Abu Hurayra said that: I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, saying: Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was said: O Messenger of Allah, who is he? He said: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise” [Narrated by Muslim].
 
«رغم أنفه. ثم رغم أنفه. ثم رغم أنفه. قيل: من؟ يا رسول الله! قال: من أدرك والديه عند الكبر، أحدهما أو كليهما، ثم لم يدخل الجنة» رواه مسلم
 
Abu Ad-Darda narrated that he heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, saying: “the father is the middle door of paradise, so it is as you wish; you can lose this door or preserve it” [Narrated by At-Tirmidhi, he said: it is an authentic Hadith. It is authenticated by Ibn Haaban and Al-Albani].
 
«الوالد أوسط أبواب الجنة ، فإن شئت فأضع ذلك الباب أو احفظه»رواه الترمذي، وقال: حديث صحيح، وصححه ابن حبان والألباني
 
Al-Qushiri said: “the middle door of paradise,” that is: the best of its doors.
 
Mu’âwiya Ibn Jahima narrated that Jahima came to the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and said: “I want to fight for the cause of Allah and I came to seek your opinion.” He said: “Do you have a mother”, he said: “Yes”, so he said, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him: “Keep close to her as Paradise is at her feet.” [Narrated by Ahmed, Al-Hakim,and classified as good authentic by Al-Albani].
 
«يا رسول الله أردت أن أغزو وقد جئت أستشيرك. فقال: هل لك من أم؟، قال: نعم. قال: فالزمها فإن الجنة عند رجلها» رواه أحمد والحاكم وقال الألباني: حسن صحيح
 
At-Tabarani reported it in Al-Kabîr (the Grand) with the wording: “Do you have parents (are they alive)?” I said: “Yes”, so he said: “keep close to them because Paradise is under their feet” [Al-Mundhiri said about the chain of transmission of At-Tabarani: Good chain of transmission].
 
«ألك والدان قلت نعم، قال الزمهما فإن الجنة تحت أرجلهما» قال المنذري عن إسناد الطبراني: إسناد جيّد
 
5- The pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of parents: It is narrated by Abdullah Ibn Amr, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, that the Messenger of Allah has said: “the pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of the parent, and the wrath of Allah is in the wrath of the parent.” [Al-Albani said: Hasan (good)].
 
«رضى الرب في رضى الوالد، و سخط الرب في سخط الوالد» حسنه الألباني
 
6- Being dutiful to them is a cause of the remission of sins: It is narrated by Abdullah Ibn Umar, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, that a man came to the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and said: O Messenger of Allah: I have committed a great sin, is there any repentance for me?” He said: “Do you have a mother?” He said: No. He said: “Do you have an aunt?” He said: Yes. He said: “then be dutiful to her”. [Narrated by At-Tirmidhi and authenticated by Al-Albani].
 
«أن رجلا أتى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله إني أصبت ذنبا عظيما فهل لي من توبة. قال هل لك من أم؟ قال: لا ، قال: هل لك من خالة؟ قال: نعم، قال: فبرها» رواه الترمذي وصححه الألباني
 
Malik Ibn Amr narrated that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has said: “whoever manumits a Muslim slave, it will be his redemption from Hellfire, and whoever sees either of his parents in their old age and is not forgiven, so Allah will destroy and eradicate him”. [Al-Mundhiri said: It is narrated through different ways, one of them is good, and Al-Albani said: Authentic due to others].
 
«من أعتق رقبة مسلمة؛ فهي فداؤه من النار، ومن أدرك أحد والديه ثم لم يغفر له؛ فأبعده الله» قال المنذري: روي من طرق أحدهما حسن، وقال الألباني: صحيح لغيره
 
7- being dutiful to them is a cause of the relief of distresses: the story of the three men who were trapped in a cave and a rock fell and closed the opening of the cave refers to that; where they supplicated Allah with their righteous deeds; one of them supplicated Him with his dutifulness to his parents, the second by his chastity and the third by his honesty so Allah ended their distresses by removing the rock away of the opening of the cave. The story is in mentioned the two authentic books of Hadith [al-Bukhari and Muslim].
 
8- Dutifulness to them is a cause of the affluence of sustenance, the longevity of life and the good end of life: It is narrated by Anas ibn Malik that: the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has said: “Whoever would like that Allah grants him affluence of his sustenance and that he leaves a long lived impact then he should keep good relations with his Kith and kin.” [Agreed upon].
 
«من أحب أن يبسط له في رزقه، وينسأ له في أثره، فليصل رحمه» متفق عليه
 
Dutifulness to parents is at the top of kinship because they are the closest people to you in the relationship
 
9- The invocation of a parent to Allah against the son is fulfilled: the story of Jurayj Al-Abid (the worshipper) whose mother invoked Allah against him refers to this; where she invoked Allah against him when he did not respond to her call that Allah shows him the prostitutes’ faces- that is the whores- and Allah fulfilled her invocation, the story is mentioned in the two authentic books of Hadith.
 
It is narrated by Abu Hurayra that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has said: “Three supplications are answered, no doubt in that: the invocation of a parent against his son, the supplication of a traveler and the supplication of the oppressed.” [Narrated by Ahmed and At-Tirmidhi and authenticated by Al-Albani],
 
«ثلاث دعوات مستجابات لا شك فيهن: دعوة الوالد على ولده، ودعوة المسافر، ودعوة المظلوم» رواه أحمد والترمذي وحسنه الألباني
 
10- The son and his wealth belong to his father: It is narrated by Jabir that a man said: Oh Messenger of Allah, I have property and children, and my father wants to ravage my property. He replied: “you and your property belong to your father” [Narrated by Ibn Majah and authenticated by Al-Albani].
 
«يا رسول الله إن لي مالا وولدا وإن أبي يريد أن يجتاح مالي فقال أنت ومالك لأبيك» رواه ابن ماجه وصححه الألباني
 
The Hadith of Abdullah Ibn Amr is a proof to this Hadith and its wording is: “you and your property belong to your father. Your children are from the most pleasant of what you earn; so enjoy from the earning of your children.” [Narrated by Ibn Majah; and it is authenticated by Al-Albani],
 
«أنت ومالك لأبيك، إن أولادكم من أطيب كسبكم فكلوا من كسب أولادكم» رواه ابن ماجه وصححه الألباني
 
Ibn Al-Athir said: ravage means completely finish.
 
11- It is Narrated that Abu Hurayra, may Allah be pleased with him, said that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has said: “A son does not repay what he owes his father unless he buys him (the father) in case he is a slave and then emancipates him” [Reported by Muslim].
 
«لا يجزي ولد والداً إلا أن يجده مملوكاً فيشتريه فيعتقه..» رواه مسلم
 
12- Being Undutiful to them is one of the biggest of the greatest sins: Abu Bakra narrated that: the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has said thrice: “Shall I not inform you of the biggest of the greatest sins?” We said: “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” He said: “To associate partners in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one’s parents.” The Prophet sat up after he had been reclining (on a pillow) and added: “And I warn you against giving forged statement and a false witness; I warn you against giving a forged statement and a false witness.” The Prophet kept on saying that warning till we said: we wish he would stop. [Agreed upon].
 
«ألا أنبئكم بأكبر الكبائر. ثلاثا، قالوا: بلى يا رسول الله، قال: الإشراك بالله، وعقوق الوالدين -وجلس وكان متكئا، فقال- ألا وقول الزور. قال: فما زال يكررها حتى قلنا: ليته يسكت» متفق عليه
 
13- The undutiful person is one of those who Allah does not look at on the Day of Judgment and he does not enter paradise: Jubair ibn Mut’im narrated that: the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has said: “The severer of his kith and kin would not enter Paradise”. [Agreed upon and the wording is by Muslim].
 
«لا يدخل الجنة قاطع رحم» متفق عليه واللفظ لمسلم
 
The parents are the closest kinship. Ibn Umar Narrated that: “there are three whom Allah does not look at on the Day of Resurrection: the undutiful person to his parents, the alcoholic drinker and the one who reminds other of his favors, and there are three who do not enter Paradise: the undutiful to his parents, the cuckold and the she-man” [Reported by Al-Bazar –his wording- with a good chain of transmission; and authenticated by  Al-Hakim and Al-Albani said: it has good chain of transmission, its men are trustworthy].
 
«ثلاثة لا ينظر الله إليهم يوم القيامة: العاق لوالديه و مدمن الخمر و المنان عطاءه، و ثلاثة لا يدخلون الجنة: العاق لوالديه والديوث والرجلة» رواه البزار بإسناد حسن وصححه الحاكم وقال الألباني: إسناده حسن رجاله ثقات
 
The cuckold is the man who approves adultery for his family. The she-man is the woman who imitates men in their male innate nature.
 
14- The punishment of the undutiful person is hastened for him in this worldly life: It is narrated by Anas Ibn Malik that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has said: “Two matters to which punishment is hastened in this worldly life are: injustice and undutifulness.” [Narrated and authenticated by Al-Hakim, Al-Albani and Az-Zahabi agreed with him]
 
«بابان معجلان عقوبتهما في الدنيا: البغي و العقوق» رواه الحاكم وصححه ووافقه الذهبي والألباني
 
Abu Bakra narrated that: “There are no sins more deserving that Allah accelerates the punishment to their doer in this worldly life in addition to what is saved for them in the Hereafter than injustice and severing one’s kith and kin.” [Narrated by At-Tirmidhi, he said: it good and authentic. It is also authenticated by Ibn Haabaan and Al-Albani].
 
«ما من ذنب أجدر أن يعجل الله لصاحبه العقوبة في الدنيا مع ما يدخر له في الآخرة من البغي، وقطيعة الرحم» رواه الترمذي وقال: حسن صحيح، وصححه ابن حبان والألباني
 
Al-Bukhari has listed it in his book “the single literature” under the chapter of “the punishment of the undutifulness to parents’’ and the being undutiful to parents is the greatest severance of relatives.
 
Oh honorable reader, before I leave you, and after you have learned the great right of the parents, the ugliness of dutifulness towards them and the danger of defaulting in performing their rights - I invite you to hasten to be dutiful to them, to compensate them for your default in the past, work hard, do your best to improve your relationship with them, bring pleasure unto them, seek to gain their satisfaction, give priority to their wishes before what your soul wishes and desires, hasten to meet their requirements, beware of annoying them or hurting them by word or deed, lower unto them the wing of humility and invoke Allah for them in submission to the words of Allah, the Creator and the Glorious: {And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.”} [Surat Al-Isrâ’ 17:24].
 
{وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا} الإسراء: 24
 
 

 

Transliteration: Waikhfid lahuma janaha alththulli mina alrrahmati waqul rabbi irhamhuma kamarabbayanee sagheeran
 
May Allah grant success to me and you to perform the right of Allah and the right of parents, may Allah bestow on me and you His pleasure and their satisfaction, may Allah make me and you from those who is hastening to performing good deeds, preparing themselves to Paradise by Allah’s bounty and generosity, and peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his family and companions.
 
 
Abdullah Ibn Ali Al-Ju’aythîn
With little modification

 

 

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