Tears of Remorse

Praise be to Allah; peace be upon the Messenger of Allah and upon his household, companions and those who follow him.

Due to the smear campaign that has been launched in the Danish press concerning Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him):

Peace and blessings be upon you my dear faithful believer,

I wish you would permit me to tell you about some notions that had been passing by in my mind, for I would like to share them with you hoping that they would be like flowing softly to eventually find a haven in your pure heart.



I am pretty sure that there are tears of delight like glittering pearls are rolling over your cheeks every time you read the hadith of the Prophet (peace be upon him) about his great wish to meet his brothers and sisters and when his companions had wondered with amazement, " O Allah's Apostle, are we not your brothers and sisters?". He answered, "You are my companions, my brothers and sisters have not been born yet." [Narrated by Muslim]
 

That hadith causes the eyes to shed tears for longing much to see the Prophet (peace be upon him). Now I have a good deal of questions on my mind, kindly follow me with patience:

Would I be deemed one of his faithful followers if I do not weep out of anger and sadness with those who drew what revealed their wicked intentions? The Prophet is never to be harmed by these insults since Allah said in the Holy Qur'an touching this issue, "Indeed, We are sufficient for you against the mockers" [Al- Hijr 15:95]
 

Transliteration: Inna kafaynaka almustahzieena

How could I enjoy the honor of following him and his message while I have not prayed Allah to punish those scoffers and boycott their national imports? (a girl once said, " If a seller once call my pa names, I wouldn't buy anything from his store" --- How about the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his reputation?; He said in a hadith narrated by Anas "None of you will have faith till he loves me more than his father, his children and all mankind" [Al-Bukhari]
 

Would he intercede for my sake on the Day of Judgment while I keep delaying performing my prayers, fasting but doing backbiting, paying alms but being a hypocrite … when I disobey my mum, snap at her, scorn her views and always cause embarrassment to her? …. When I trim my eye brows , claim to know what fashions are accepted by Islam and argue with those who deeply understand what Islam is about?.... or when he sees me invariably involved in a bold unchaste chat with trivial-minded young men? Or when I waste my time before a screen manifesting all sorts of indecency and he gets to know about this sort of corruptible device? Would he then let me drink from his fountain?

Abdullah ibn Amr, may Allah be pleased with both of them, narrated that the Apostle of Allah said: "My Lake-Fount is (so large that it takes) a month's journey to cross it. Its water is whiter than milk, and its smell is nicer than musk (a kind of perfume), and its drinking cups are (as numerous) as the (number of) stars of the sky; and whoever drinks from it, will never be thirsty" [Al-Bukhari]
 

Or would I be sent away from his basin until the Prophet (peace be upon him) would plead Allah to have mercy on his companions and Allah says "you (Muhammad) do not know what they have committed after your death" [Narrated by Al-Bukhari]
 

What a pity to suffer from the greatest loss --- drifting from Islam by committing sins.

You claimed that the past is quite different from the present, yet time is the same: its days and nights, weeks, months, and years; the same time. The problem lies in my heart that is racing after lusts and whims. I should have paid attention and taken good care of myself in case I believe that time is going to change --- as I alleged --- in contrast, I preferred that change, in a disgusting way, to the novelties and updates that could benefit me. Oh, I am one of his followers and oh! When it is called "You do not know what they have committed after you death"

Is the master of mankind (peace be upon him) with his great reputation going to see my sins and I might be prevented from drinking from al-Kauthar river because of a dirty picture of a nasty young man that I picked up from the trash of Star Academy Show and gave it part of my own intimate feelings?

Am I going to be deprived from this owing to a party in which I danced with a revealing or sexy dress that pleased the wrongdoers and displeased the righteous?

Am I going to lose his love and care as a result of a scornful word or look at a poor or handicapped girl?

Will he let me be one of his followers or drink from his fountain? …. I cut my relations with my relatives and I went to a fortune teller to win my husband's heart and did not think of the terrible consequences? Also, I made fun of hijab and turned it into a tight pair of pants and a piece of tight black cloth over my chest I called "Abaya" and those who respect religion would no longer respect me and those who follow their lust would stare at me with desire as well as scorn , which I lately noticed. However, after the Danish bomb that exploded in the world, I woke up to find that my sins and mistakes have covered up my Islamic identity… I always searched for excuses for my wrong doing though deep down I knew they would be of no use when it is time to meet my Maker... The phrase (I belong to an open-minded liberal family.) was a trick the Devil played on me to keep all my doors open for sins and mistakes and let him enter and wonder within me whenever he wished to.

Am I going to be deprived from his intercession and prevented from drinking from his fountain when the day comes? …. I would sacrifice my father and mother for his sake; woe to us if he would come and see us in what we are now. In what form would he, the prophet of mercy, see us?

We have put on so deformed identities and pathetic forms that the Danes mocked us, even though we outnumber them--- our big numbers have no value at all --- They slapped us on our faces and many awoke up from their deep slumber; the slap then was not fully disastrous as they thought it would be. I wish I could come back to Allah, abide by His commands and live with dignity and my own Islamic identity that I value so much. As Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Allah is happier that someone who lost his camel while he was travelling on it with his food and drink. When he lost hope of finding it, he resorted to sleep in the shades of a tree, and while he is asleep, he found it before his head, so he said,' Oh Allah, you are my slave and I am your master.' He erred out of happiness." [Muslim]
 

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