I have very difficult question and I think this is my only hope that you can help me to find the answer.
I am a Russian Jewish girl and I know this Muslim guy for over a year. The longer we know each other, the more problems and difficulties we face. Not in the religious or cultural ways. We love each other and there is an issue of whether he can marry me or not.
He is a very good Muslim and he comes from traditional family. I am very fond of his beliefs and beliefs of his family. I was born in a very agnostic country and couldn't be properly introduced into any religion. It was forbidden. When I came to the US I started my research on different religions and found out that my beliefs do not really match all Jewish sayings. I did a lot of research on Islam and by looking at him and a couple other Muslim boys and girls, and by reading Quaran, I have a very strong feeling that I could become a good Muslim. I want to go to school to learn the culture and religion more precisely, to learn the language. I contacted the mosque and was ready to go... but I faced the issue: would I be accepted as a Muslim sister like other people who came from different religions except Jewish? Jews and Muslims are in big contradictions and I know that friendship is almost impossible. I am praying to God (in my home language - Russian), to lead me the right way to achieve my beliefs.
Please, help me to find my answers
I embraced Islam -praise be to Allah- and now I want to keep myself chaste, but my parents think that the most suitable age of marriage is not until twenty-five or preferably twenty-eight. Even worse than that, one of them thinks that there is nothing wrong with friendship and relationships outside of marriage - Allah forbid. The matter is extremely difficult and I do not know how to talk to them about this matter. I want to keep myself chaste; I want to marry a man who will help me to adhere to my religion, a man who will stand beside me and help me, a man who will live with me, because I am living far away from my parents. They are divorced and each one lives in a different city. I do not know how to explain these details to them in order to convince them that I should get married early; rather they think that getting married at an early age is something that is not appropriate. I am the only daughter of my parents, hence I do not want to disobey them and I do not want to upset them; I do not want them to forsake me either. I want at least to do the marriage contract, then delay consummation until Allah wills.
My questions are:
1. Is it permissible for me to do the marriage contract but delay marriage and the waleemah (wedding feast) and consummation for five years, for example?
2. Do I have to repeat the marriage contract in front of my family later on and pretend that I was not married? Or is that regarded as coming under the heading of lying? I hope you can advise me because I do not know what to do.