Raising children in an unrighteous environment
I try my best as a Muslim, but my husband says mean things against Islam, I try explaining things to him but he wont listen, he is educated whereas I am not, I do try and learn about Islam from the Quran and sunnah, but Im not perfect, I have 6 children three over the age of 13 and 3 under 9 years. how should I make myslef a better Muslim? and Instill it in my children as the older ones won't pray all they prayers. Sometimes ok most of the time it brings me down.
Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
No matter how far a person is from Islam and its teachings, there still remains in him a kernel of goodness and natural inclination towards the truth, that needs someone to look for it and reach it, and offer the call to faith and sincere advice.
Your husband's education does not guarantee that he will not make mistakes, so try to influence him by offering advice and exhorting him gently, and seek the help of Allah, for He will suffice you and help you. Ask Him, may He be glorified, to instil in his heart, and in the hearts of the people around you, light by which they will see the truth, and ask Allah to help them to follow it.
As your husband is educated, try to provide him with academic religious books or useful articles that are suited to his situation and the problem that you want to solve, so that he can read them in his spare time. Perhaps Allah will open his heart thereby. Have certain faith that Allah will never dash your hopes or let you down if you seek His help and take appropriate measures.
In addition to that, you could also find video and audio clips of lectures and beneficial preaching, especially if you know that your husband has a preference for certain daa'iyahs or shaykhs.
You should understand that you are engaged in a great jihad, a jihad for the sake of your religious commitment and to protect yourself, your family and your children, in an environment that does not support you or help you to maintain your identity. Moreover, you are striving to establish the commands of Allah with regard to yourself and your family. You should understand that your reward will be commensurate with your struggle and effort.
In order to establish in your children a love for Islam and its teachings, you have to do the following:
Give your children a lot of your time on a daily basis, and talk to them about the greatness of Islam and its teachings. Tell them a great deal about the life of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), for people love to hear stories. Be very close to them, for -by Allah's leave- your closeness will have an influence on them, and you will be a good influence on them.
Have a board at home on which you write beautiful phrases and religious teachings containing Qur'anic verses and hadiths, that you change from time to time, so that everyone in the house can read it and it will have an impact on them, in sha Allah. This is a way of offering indirect advice.
You could also have a daily portion (wird) of Qur'an that you read every day with your children, for the Qur'an is light and guidance.
Try to use Islamic words and phrases, and get your children used to words of Islamic etiquette and adhkaar having to do with different matters, such as when eating and drinking, or going to sleep, and so on.
And Allah knows best.
