Jason Cruz, Ex-Priest, USA
- Categories: Da'wah to Non-Muslims -
Alhumdulillah (Thank God), I have been blessed by Allah
with the gift of Islam since 2006. When I was asked to write about
the path that I took and how Allah has blessed me, I was hesitant.
I have seen others get caught up with personal fame by telling how
they came to Islam and I knew that I didn't want to have the same
challenge.
I ask you then to take this story as the work of Allah and focus on
his mercy and greatness rather than my story in particular, insha
Allah. No one comes to Islam without the mercy of Allah and it is
his work not that of the revert that truly matters.
I was born to a nominally Roman Catholic family in Upstate New
York. I had a Roman Catholic mother and a Presbyterian father who
converted to Catholicism in order to get married.
We attended church on Sundays and I went through catechism, first
communion, and eventually confirmation within the Roman Catholic
Church. When I was young I began to feel a call from Allah. This
call I interpreted as a call to the Roman Catholic priesthood and
told my mother as such. She, pleased with this, took me to meet the
priest at our local parish.
Fortunately or unfortunately, this particular priest was not happy
with his vocation and advised me to stay away from the priesthood.
This upset me and even today, I do not know how things would have
been different if his response had been more positive.
From that earlier brush with Allah's call, and out of my own
foolishness and in my teen years, I went the other way. My family
broke up at an early age when I was seven and I suffered from the
loss of my father who was not present after the divorce.
Starting at the young age of 15, I began to be more interested in
nightclubs and parties than the Lord of the Universe. I dreamed of
becoming a lawyer, then politician with a penthouse in Manhattan so
I could participate in a party lifestyle with style.
After I graduated with honors, from my high school, I went to
college briefly. But my own twisted focus led me to drop from
college and move to Arizona (where I continue to live until now)
instead of getting my degree.
This is something that I regret to this day. Once in Arizona, my
situation went from bad to worse. I fell in with a much worse crowd
than I had at home and began to use drugs. Due to my lack of
education, I worked low end jobs and continued to spend my time in
drugs, promiscuity, and nightclubs.
During this time, I had my first encounter with a a Muslim. He was
a kind man who was attending a local college as a foreign student.
He was dating one of my friends and often accompanied us to
nightclubs and other parties that we attended. I did not discuss
Islam with him but did question him about his culture which he
shared freely. Islam did not come up. Again I wonder how things
would have been different had he been a practicing Muslim.
My bad lifestyle continued for some years and I won't belabor it
with details. I had lots of trauma, people that I knew died, I was
stabbed and otherwise wounded but this is not a tale of the dangers
of drugs.
I only mention it to state that no matter where you are, Allah can
bring you back from it insha Allah. I will fast forward to when I
became clean from drugs. Part of the process of getting off of
drugs and narcotics is to establish a relationship with a "higher
power".
For most this is God and or other expressions of divinity. I had
long before lost my connection to Allah so I went on a search for
my higher power. Sadly, I did not find the truth at first. Instead
I went to Hinduism, which appealed to me because of its explanation
of why suffering had happened to me.
I went all into it, even changing my name to a Hindu name. It was
enough to keep me off of drugs and move my life in a more positive
direction, for which I am grateful. Eventually, though I began to
again feel the tug from Allah. This began to show me that for me,
Hinduism was not the true way.
Allah continued to needle me until I left Hinduism and I began to
go back to Christianity. I approached the Roman Catholic Church to
become a priest, as this is what I felt Allah was calling me for,
and they offered me an education and a post in a monastery in New
Mexico. By this time my family (mother, brother and sister) had
moved to Arizona and I had close relationships with many
friends.
Needless to say I was not yet ready. Instead I found an independent
catholic church that I could study through their seminary program
from home and become ordained and assigned where I was already
living. This independent Catholic Church also appealed to my
liberal ideals that I had developed through my years living rough.
I attended their seminary program and in 2005 I was ordained a
priest.
My first ministry in my new role was interfaith relations. My
assignment was to visit and learn about the different faith
traditions in the Phoenix Metro area and share with them an
interfaith message of peace and understanding from my church.
Most Christian traditions I already had studied and knew. I brushed
up on Judaism and other Far East religions. I was what is known as
a worker-priest, which means I had a job at the same time as I was
doing my ministry. I had changed from working in corporate America
to working in a behavioral health agency.
My post was down the street from a Masjid. I thought that this was
my chance to learn about Islam for my interfaith relations. I went
to the mosque and met some very nice brothers who directed me to
the mosque in Tempe, Arizona.
I also began to read about Islam independently and was startled by
how touched I was with what I was reading. Allah had me now but I
did not yet know it. I went to the Tempe mosque and was to meet a
wonderful teacher in the form of Ahmad Al Akoum.
Br. Al Akoum, who is the regional director of Muslim American
Society, had an introduction to Islam class open for people of all
faiths that I began to attend. While attending this class, I began
to see that Islam was the truth. It was only a short time later
that I gave Shahadah at the Tempe mosquewith the Sheikh Ahmed
Shqeirat. Both Br. Al Akoum and Sheikh Shqeirat are great men and
without them I would not have been as comfortable coming into
Islam. I resigned from the church and have been Muslim ever since,
Alhumdulillah.
My life has changed dramatically for the better since embracing
Islam. At first my family was saddened that I left the priesthood
and didn't understand, even feared, Islam. But since my way of
interacting with them, based on my increased happiness and my
striving to adhere to Quran and Sunnah, has changed-they have seen
that it is a good thing.
Br. Al Akoum knew that the first year is always toughest for the
revert. To lessen the stress of it, he made sure that I was
included in multiple community activities and met lots of good
practicing brothers. It is only through contact with other Muslims
that a revert can be successful.
Left on his or her own, it can be too daunting and their faith may
slip too far, so if you know a revert, please visit them at least
once every three days. I have advanced further in my job because of
my new base as a Muslim. I became a manager of a program that seeks
to prevent alcohol and drug abuse, HIV, and Hepatitis for at risk
populations.
I have become a volunteer in not only Muslim American Society but
also the Muslim Youth Centre of Arizona and other Muslim causes. I
have been recently nominated to the board of the Tempe mosque where
I first took shahadah. Alhumdulillah it has also clarified who are
my true friends versus who were not.
I have less non Muslim friends now as I cannot participate in the
activities that they choose to do for fun but I have developed
valuable friendships with Muslim brothers that are better than
anything I have had in the past. Insha Allah, if Allah chooses, I
would like to go and study Fiqh to further the cause of Islam and
benefit the Ummah that I love. All of this was through the grace of
Allah and only the mistakes are mine.
By Jason Cruz
IslamReligion.com