Feeling fed up of life
- Categories: General -
Q: I am a young man who has become fed
up of living in this transient world. I have started to feel bored
and tired of it. Is there anyone who can help? There is none who
can help except Allaah!.
A: Praise be to Allaah.
There are many reasons for hating this world. There are some people
who dislike this transient world and long for that which is with
Allaah of reward, and who love to meet Allaah. Hence some of the salaf said: "The
gift of the believer is death." For he detests this world and his
heart is attached to the Hereafter. Yet despite his dislike for
this world, he carries out his duties towards Allaah and His
slaves, and he strives to do good as much as he can, in accordance
with the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):
"And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty
(i.e. death)" [al-Hijr 15:99].
{وَاعْبُدْ رَبَّكَ حَتَّى يَأْتِيَكَ
الْيَقِينُ}
Transliteration: Wa A`bud Rabbaka Ĥattá Ya'tiyaka
Al-Yaqīnu
And there are some people who detest this world, not because of the
Hereafter, but because they think that their share of it is very
little, and that others are better off then them. Undoubtedly this
is a kind of discontent with the will and decree of Allaah, for
Allaah is the One Who bestows blessings and distributes provisions,
as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And if Allaah were to enlarge the provision for His slaves, they
would surely rebel in the earth, but He sends down by measure as He
wills. Verily, He is, in respect of His slaves, the Well‑Aware, the
All‑Seer (of things that benefit them)" [al-Shoora 42:27].
{وَلَوْ بَسَطَ اللَّهُ الرِّزْقَ
لِعِبَادِهِ لَبَغَوْا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَكِن يُنَزِّلُ بِقَدَرٍ مَّا
يَشَاءُ إِنَّهُ بِعِبَادِهِ خَبِيرٌ بَصِيرٌ}
Transliteration: Wa Law Basaţa Allāhu Ar-Rizqa Li`ibādihi Labaghaw
Fī Al-'Arđi Wa Lakin Yunazzilu Biqadarin Mā Yashā'u 'Innahu
Bi`ibādihi Khabīrun Başīrun
Some people hate this world because they have been faced with a
great deal of trial, stress and exhaustion in it. Undoubtedly these
people do not understand the true nature of this world. This world
is the realm of striving and trial, the realm of stress and
exhaustion, especially for the righteous believer, who encounters
all kinds of trials by means of which Allaah expiates his sins and
raises him in status. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"Verily, We have created man in toil" [al-Balad 90:4].
{لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا الْإِنسَانَ فِي
كَبَدٍ}
Transliteration: Laqad Khalaqnā Al-'Insāna Fī Kabadin
"Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: 'We
believe,' and will not be tested.
3. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allaah will
certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and
will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are
liars, (although Allaah knows all that before putting them to
test)" [al-'Ankaboot 29:2-3].
{أَحَسِبَ النَّاسُ أَن يُتْرَكُوا أَن
يَقُولُوا آمَنَّا وَهُمْ لَا يُفْتَنُونَ (2) وَلَقَدْ فَتَنَّا
الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِهِمْ فَلَيَعْلَمَنَّ اللَّهُ الَّذِينَ صَدَقُوا
وَلَيَعْلَمَنَّ الْكَاذِبِينَ}
Transliteration: 'Aĥasiba An-Nāsu 'An Yutrakū 'An Yaqūlū 'Āmannā Wa
Hum Lā Yuftanūna, Wa Laqad Fatannā Al-Ladhīna Min Qablihim
Falaya`lamanna Allāhu Al-Ladhīna Şadaqū Wa Laya`lamanna
Al-Kādhibīna
"Allaah will not leave the believers in the state in which you are
now, until He distinguishes the wicked from the good. Nor will
Allaah disclose to you the secrets of the Ghayb (Unseen), but
Allaah chooses of His Messengers whom He wills. So believe in
Allaah and His Messengers. And if you believe and fear Allaah, then
for you there is a great reward" [Aal 'Imraan 3:179].
{مَّا كَانَ اللّهُ لِيَذَرَ
الْمُؤْمِنِينَ عَلَى مَا أَنتُمْ عَلَيْهِ حَتَّىَ يَمِيزَ
الْخَبِيثَ مِنَ الطَّيِّبِ وَمَا كَانَ اللّهُ لِيُطْلِعَكُمْ عَلَى
الْغَيْبِ وَلَكِنَّ اللّهَ يَجْتَبِي مِن رُّسُلِهِ مَن يَشَاءُ
فَآمِنُواْ بِاللّهِ وَرُسُلِهِ وَإِن تُؤْمِنُواْ وَتَتَّقُواْ
فَلَكُمْ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ}
Transliteration: Mā Kāna Allāhu Liyadhara Al-Mu'uminīna
`Alá Mā 'Antum `Alayhi Ĥattá Yamīza
Al-Khabītha Mina Aţ-Ţayyibi Wa Mā Kāna Allāhu Liyuţli`akum
`Alá Al-Ghaybi Wa Lakinna Allāha Yajtabī Min Rusulihi
Man Yashā'u Fa'āminū Billāhi Wa Rusulihi Wa 'In Tu'uminū Wa Tattaqū
Falakum 'Ajrun `Ažīmun
"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger,
loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As‑
Saabiroon (the patient).
156. Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly, to Allaah we
belong and truly, to Him we shall return."
157. They are those on whom are the Salawaat (i.e. who are blessed
and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who)
receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones"
[al-Baqarah 2:155-157].
{وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُمْ بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ
الْخَوفْ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الأَمَوَالِ وَالأنفُسِ
وَالثَّمَرَاتِ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ (155) الَّذِينَ إِذَا
أَصَابَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُواْ إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ
رَاجِعونَ (156) أُولَـئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِّن رَّبِّهِمْ
وَرَحْمَةٌ وَأُولَـئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ}
Transliteration: Wa Lanabluwannakum Bishay'in Mina Al-Khawfi Wa
Al-Jū`i Wa Naqşin Mina Al-'Amwli Wa Al-'Anfusi Wa Ath-Thamarāti Wa
Bashshiri Aş-Şābirīna, Al-Ladhīna 'Idhā 'Aşābat/hum Muşībatun Qālū
'Innā Lillāhi Wa 'Innā 'Ilayhi Rāji`ūna, 'Ūlā'ika `Alayhim
Şalawātun Min Rabbihim Wa Raĥmatun Wa 'Ūlā'ika Humu
Al-Muhtadūna
My dear brother… into which of these
categories do you fall?
Remember how the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) was tested. His people showed enmity towards him, and the
closest of people to him resisted him. Some people slandered him,
others persecuted him. He was thrown out of his home and was
subjected to a harsh boycott. The kuffaar gathered together to kill
him, and his wife Khadeejah (may Allaah be pleased with her) died
at the most difficult time. He would go for a month or two at a
time without eating anything but dates and water. All of this
happened even though he was the Prophet of Allaah, and His
Messenger, the one to whom Allaah entrusted His Revelation. All of
this happened even though he is the owner of the position of praise
and glory (al-maqaam al-mahmoud) and the Cistern (al-hawd) to which
his ummah will come (on the Day of Resurrection). All of this
happened even though his sins, past and future, had been
forgiven.
So what about us, with all our sins and shortcomings?
I advise you to do the following:
Firstly: make
a lot of du'aa', calling upon Allaah, and seek to draw close to Him
by different kinds of worship, such as praying, giving zakaah,
fasting and so on. Beseech Allaah to take away what is in your
heart (of sorrow etc) and to grant you relief. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Those who believed (in the Oneness of Allaah - Islamic
Monotheism), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of
Allaah verily, in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts find rest"
[al-Ra'd 13:28].
{الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ وَتَطْمَئِنُّ
قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ اللّهِ أَلاَ بِذِكْرِ اللّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ
الْقُلُوبُ}
Transliteration: Al-Ladhīna 'Āmanū Wa Taţma'innu Qulūbuhum Bidhikri
Allāhi 'Alā Bidhikri Allāhi Taţma'innu Al-Qulūbu
"Verily, those who are Al-Muttaqoon (the pious), when an evil
thought comes to them from Shaytaan (Satan), they remember
(Allaah), and (indeed) they then see (aright)" [al-A'raaf
7:201].
{إِنَّ الَّذِينَ اتَّقَواْ إِذَا
مَسَّهُمْ طَائِفٌ مِّنَ الشَّيْطَانِ تَذَكَّرُواْ فَإِذَا هُم
مُّبْصِرُونَ}
Transliteration: 'Inna Al-Ladhīna Attaqaw 'Idhā Massahum Ţā'ifun
Mina Ash-Shayţāni Tadhakkarū Fa'idhā Hum Mubşirūna
Secondly: Understand that
whatever Allaah decrees for His believing slave is all good. No
matter how difficult your life may become, to Allaah belong all
things in the heavens and the earth. So set things straight between
yourself and Allaah, and Allaah will suffice you against having any
need of people.
Thirdly: Your
depression and tiredness may be because of something that you have
missed out on and not acquired or achieved. In that case you should
know how often a person has pursued something, not realizing that
in it lay his doom; and how often has a person grieved for missing
out on something he wanted, but he does not know that had he
attained it, it would have spelled loss in both his spiritual and
worldly affairs. So accept the will and decree of Allaah, and seek
the help of Allaah, and do not feel helpless.
Fourthly:
Check your heart and mind, and examine your relationship with
Allaah thoroughly, because a person may be denied provision because
of sins that he commits.
Fifthly: You
may have some personal or family problems; the way to solve these
problems is by prioritizing them. Seek the help of Allaah (first
and foremost), then the help of experienced people to solve these
problems, and resolve these issues.
Sixthly:
remember that the most sorely tried of all people were the
Prophets, then the next best and the next best. It is proven in
al-Musnad from the hadeeth of Mus'ab ibn Sa'd that his father said:
I said: O Messenger of Allaah, which of the people are most sorely
tested? He said: «The Prophets, then
the righteous, then the next best, then the next best of people. A
man will be tested according to his level of religious commitment.
If there is some solidness in his religious commitment, he will be
more sorely tested, and if there is some weakness in his religious
commitment the test will be lightened for him. A man will continue
to be tested until he walks upon the face of the earth with no sin
on him» [Musnad al-Imam Ahmad, no. 1481. Shaykh Shu'ayb
al-Arna'oot said: its isnaad is hasan. And it was classed as saheeh
by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 992].
Seventhly:
Persist in praying for forgiveness and in worshipping. That is
better for you than all the worldly steps you can take, no matter
how great and how many they are. This will also relieve your
worries. It was narrated in some reports that whoever persists in
praying for forgiveness, Allaah will grant him a way out from every
worry and hardship and will grant him provision from sources he
never thought of.
So persist in worshipping Allaah, and act in accordance with the
words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):
"And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty
(i.e. death)" [al-Hijr 15:99].
{وَاعْبُدْ رَبَّكَ حَتَّى يَأْتِيَكَ
الْيَقِينُ}
Transliteration: Wa A`bud Rabbaka Ĥattá Ya'tiyaka
Al-Yaqīnu
"And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given
for enjoyment to various groups of them (polytheists and
disbelievers in the Oneness of Allaah), the splendour of the life
of this world, that We may test them thereby. But the provision
(good reward in the Hereafter) of your Lord is better and more
lasting" [Ta-Ha 20:131].
{وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيْنَيْكَ إِلَى مَا
مَتَّعْنَا بِهِ أَزْوَاجاً مِّنْهُمْ زَهْرَةَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنيَا
لِنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ وَرِزْقُ رَبِّكَ خَيْرٌ
وَأَبْقَى}
Transliteration: Wa Lā Tamuddanna `Aynayka 'Ilá Mā
Matta`nā Bihi 'Azwājāan Minhum Zahrata Al-Ĥayāati Ad-Dunyā
Linaftinahum Fīhi Wa Rizqu Rabbika Khayrun Wa
'Abqá
May Allaah help us and you to do and say that which is right. And
Allaah knows best.
See: Dealing with Worries and Stress
in the Books section of this website.
Islam Q&A