Dear Neighbor Sister

Dear Neighbor Sister, did you hear her story? Did you know about her? Did you know why she had lost? She prays the obligatory prayers, fasts, prays Tahajud, gives charity and does numerous good deeds. So, why did she lose?

  • Categories: Muslim Women's Issues - Islamic Morals - General Etiquette -




In the name of Allah the most gracious the most merciful

All Praise is due to Allah Who ordered us to worship Him and commended to the neighbor… May Allah’s prayers and peace be upon His messenger, the best neighbor, and his honorable and righteous family and company.

Dear Neighbor Sister, did you hear her story? Did you know about her? Did you know why she had lost? She prays the obligatory prayers, fasts, prays Tahajud, gives charity and does numerous good deeds. So, why did she lose? Why did she deserve to go to hellfire?

Dear Neighbor Sister let’s consider together the following Hadith narrated by the Dignified companion, Abu Huraira, may Allah be pleased with him. Abu Huraira says; “Once a time it is said to the prophet Peace be upon him ‘O messenger of Allah, a woman prays at night, fasts at day, does good deeds and pays charity, but she hurts others by her tongue?’ ‘There is no good in her. She is among the people of hellfire’ the prophet replied. They said; ‘A woman prays the obligatory prayers only, provides a lot of yogurt as a charity, and hurts no body.’ ‘She is among the people of paradise’ Allah’s messenger replied.” [Declared authentic by Al-Albani]
«"يا رسول الله إن فلانة تقوم الليل وتصوم النهار, وتفعل وتصدق, وتؤذي جيرانها بلسانها؟"، فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «لا خير فيها, هي من أهل النار», قالوا: وفلانة تصلي المكتوبة وتصدق بالأثوار من الإقط ولا تؤذي أحداً, فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «هي من أهل الجنة»

[صححه الألبانى]

Dear Neighbor Sister, did you see what she did? Did you know how her lose was? It is the hellfire; may Allah save us from it.

Dear Neighbor Sister, in order not to be like that woman, let’s take guidance from the Holy Quran and the purified Sunnah to know what is mentioned in them concerning doing good to the neighbor, taking care of him/her, not hurting him/her and knowing his/her rights. Among these texts:

“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful.” [An-Nissa’ :36]
{وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّـهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا وَبِذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَالْيَتَامَىٰ وَالْمَسَاكِينِ وَالْجَارِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَالْجَارِ الْجُنُبِ وَالصَّاحِبِ بِالْجَنبِ وَابْنِ السَّبِيلِ وَمَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّـهَ لَا يُحِبُّ مَن كَانَ مُخْتَالًا فَخُورًا}

[النساء: 36]
Transliteration: Wa Abudū Allāha Wa Lā Tushrikū Bihi Shay'āan Wa Bil-Wālidayni 'Iĥsānāan Wa Bidhī Al-Qurbá Wa Al-Yatāmá Wa Al-Masākīni Wa Al-Jāri Dhī Al-Qurbá Wa Al-Jāri Al-Junubi Wa Aş-Şāĥibi Bil-Janbi Wa Abni As-Sabīli Wa Mā Malakat 'Aymānukum 'Inna Allāha Lā Yuĥibbu Man Kāna Mukhtālāan Fakhūrāan

Dear Sister, look at the greatness of neighbor’s rights, Allah has accompanied neighbor’s rights with worshiping Him. Honorable Neighbor Sister, consider this verse very well.

The prophet’s Sunnah has numerous texts that encourage being beneficent to the neighbor and describe the greatness of his/her right. The following are some of these texts:

1-What is narrated by bin Omar and A’isha (may Allah be pleased with them) that the prophet peace be upon him said: ‘Gabriel continued commending to the neighbor till I thought that he will assign to him a share of the inheritance.’ [Agreed upon, and this narration is for Bukhari]
«ما زال جبريل يوصيني بالجار حتى ظننت أنه سيورثه»

متفق عليه، واللفظ للبخارى

2- Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the prophet peace be upon him said: ‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Day of Judgment let him be beneficent to his/her neighbor.’ [Narrated by Muslim]
«من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فليحسن إلى جاره...»

[رواه مسلم]

3- Muslim mentioned in his Sahih (Authentic) that Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the prophet peace be upon him said: ‘The one whose neighbor is not safe of his/her evil deeds will not enter paradise.’
»لا يدخل الجنة من لا يأمن جاره بوائقه

4- The prophet peace be upon him declared that the Muslim person will not be a truly believer if his/her neighbor was not safe of his/her evil deeds. Moreover, he declared that being beneficent to the neighbor is a reason for being a true believer. It is mentioned in the two Saheehs that Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the prophet peace be upon him said: ‘I swear by Allah that s/he is not a true believer, I swear by Allah that s/he is not a true believer, I swear by Allah that s/he is not a true believer.’ ‘Who is this messenger of Allah?’ People asked. ‘Whoever his/her neighbor is not safe of his/her evil deeds.’ The prophet replied.
«والذي نفسي بيده لا يؤمن - كررها ثلاثا - قالوا: من يا رسول الله ؟ قال : من لا يأمن جاره بوائقه»

Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the prophet peace be upon him said: ‘Be beneficent to your neighbor and you will be a true believer.’ [Approved by Al-Albany; the Saheeh Chain: 930]
«وأحسن إلى جارك تكن مؤمناً» [حسنه الألبانى]

Bin Battal said: “This Hadeeth emphasizes neighbor’s rights because of prophet’s swear thrice. It also contains the negation of being true believer for whomever hurts his/her neighbor by say or deed.”

Dear Neighbor Sister, may Allah preserve you, after this summary for the greatness of neighbor’s rights in Islam, I warn you, and myself too, from hurting people in general and neighbors in particular, because it is greater sin. It is mentioned in the two Saheehs that bin Masoud narrated that he asked the prophet peace be upon him: ‘What is the greatest sin’ ‘It is to make an equal to Allah who created you.’ the prophet replied. Then it is said: ‘What is next?’ ‘To kill your child fearing it might eat your food.’ the prophet replied. I said: ‘What is next?’ ‘To commit Adultery with your neighbor’s wife.’ the prophet replied. [Narrated by Al-Bukhari]
«قلت: يا رسول الله ، أي الذنب أعظم ؟ قال : ( أن تجعل لله ندا وهو خلقك ) . قلت : ثم أي ؟ قال : ( أن تقتل ولدك من أجل أن يطعم معك ) . قلت : ثم أي ؟ قال : ( أن تزاني حليلة جارك )»

[رواه البخارى]

In Musnad Ahmed, Al-Meqdad bin Al-Aswad (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the prophet peace be upon him said: “‘What do you say about adultery?’ people said: ‘It is forbidden. Allah and His messenger had forbidden it. So, it is forbidden to the Day of Judgment.’ ‘To commit adultery with ten women is easier than committing adultery with neighbors’ wife.’ the prophet said. Then he asked: ‘What do you say about theft?’ ‘It is forbidden. Allah and His messenger had forbidden it. So, it is forbidden.’ they replied. ‘To steal from ten houses is easier than to steal from a neighbor’s house.’ the prophet said.” [Approved by Al-Albany]
«ما تقولون في الزنا قالوا: حرام ، حرمه الله ورسوله ، فهو حرام إلى يوم القيامة. قال : فقال رسول الله : لأن يزني الرجل بعشر نسوة ؛ أيسر عليه من أن يزني بامرأة جاره قال : ما تقولون في السرقة ؟ قالوا : حرمها الله ورسوله ، فهي حرام . قال : لأن يسرق الرجل من عشرة أبيات ؛ أيسر عليه من أن يسرق من جاره»

[صححه الألبانى]

Dear Neighbor Sister, did you see how the sin became greater when it was in the neighbors’ right. Make sure not to hurt neighbors, and know that being beneficent to the neighbor means not to hurt him/her. Ali said to Al-Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them): ‘What is left of your brothers’ generous?’ ‘Being beneficent to the brothers and not hurting neighbors.’ he replied. (The religious etiquette)

Some of your neighbor’s rights:

Dear Neighbor Sister, we are obliged by many rights towards our neighbors; the following are some of these rights and duties:

Your neighbor’s rights include covering what is obligatory to be covered, and providing help in the emergency cases. Also, you should protect her reputation during her absence. Abu Al-Dardaa (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the prophet peace be upon him said: ‘Whoever protects the reputation of his brother, Allah will protect his face from hellfire in the Day of Judgment.’ [Narrated by Al-Termezy, and approved by Al-Albany]
«من رد عن عرض أخيه ، رد الله عن وجهه النار يوم القيامة»

[رواه الترمذى وصححه الألبانى]

If your neighbor apologized to you, accept her apologize.

Dear Neighbor Sister, realize that the greatest rights include; giving advice, denial of evil, promotion of virtue and prevention of vice. The prophet peace be upon him obliged his righteous companions to advise each Muslim. Muslim traits include promotion of virtue and prevention of vice, Allah says: “They enjoin what is just and forbid what is Evil” [Al Tawba 9:71]
{يَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ}
Transliteration: Ya'murūna Bil-Marūfi Wa Yanhawna Ani Al-Munkari

Dear Sister, remember the prophet’s saying to Ali (may Allah be pleased with him): “If Allah guided one person by you, this would be better than having the best Offspring of livestock.” [Narrated by Muslim]
«لأن يهدي الله بك رجلا واحدا خير لك من أن يكون لك حمر النعم»

[رواه مسلم]

Therefore, Dear Sister, advice is obligatory to people in general, and neighbors in particular.

Dear Neighbor Sister, neighbor’s rights include accepting her invitation. Whenever she invited you to visit her or asked your presence to share her joy, you would accept the invitation. Accepting invitations is right to Muslims in general and neighbors in particular. Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that he heard the prophet peace be upon him says: “The rights of the Muslim person toward the other Muslim person are five; meeting the greeting with a greeting, visiting the patient, following the funerals, accepting the invitation and saying ‘God bless you’ to the Sneezer.” [Agreed upon]
«حق المسلم على المسلم خمس: رد السلام ، وعيادة المريض ، واتباع الجنائز ، وإجابة الدعوة ، وتشميت العاطس. »

[متفق عليه]

Dear Neighbor Sister, it is remarkable nowadays that many women do not invite their neighbors in the occasions. This plants Antipathy in the hearts. On the other hand, there are women who receives invitations but do not accept them claiming lame and false excuses. However, Dear sister, never accept an invitation to what is forbidden.

Your neighbor’s rights include providing gifts. You already know that the gift has great influence; it captives hearts, fosters love, removes grudges and gathers hearts. Moreover, it provides the sense of appreciation and respect, so the prophet peace be upon him accepted it from the Muslim and non-Muslim whether it is man or woman.

How many Grudges had gone by a gift!

How many troubles had been prevented by a gift!

How many friendships and good relations had come by a gift!

The prophet peace be upon him encouraged providing gifts and not scorning it how less it is. Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the prophet peace be upon him said: “Exchange gifts to love one another.”
«تهادوا تحابوا»

He also narrated that the prophet peace be upon him said: “O Muslim women let not a woman scorn the gift of her neighbor woman even if it is a sheep hoof.” [Agreed upon]
«يا نساء المسلمات ، لا تحقرن جارة لجارتها ، ولو فرسن شاة»
How wonderful is exchanging gifts between us and seeing one presents Cutlery, another presents mugs and cups, another presents books and tapes, another feeds us its cooked food and so on!

Consider the prophet’s commandment to Abu Dhar (may Allah be pleased with him) who said that the prophet peace be upon him said: “O Abu Dhar, whenever you cook meat, make its soup much and give your neighbors from it.” [Narrated by Muslim]
«يا أبا ذر! إذا طبخت مرقة ، فأكثر ماءها ، وتعاهد جيرانك»

[رواه مسلم]

When you present the gift, your closest neighbor has greater priority than the farther one. A’isha (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated that she said: “‘O messenger of Allah, I have two neighbors. To which of them should I present the gift?’ ‘To the closest one’ the prophet replied.” [Narrated by Al-Bukhari]
«قلت: يا رسول الله ، إن لي جارين ، فإلى أيهما أهدي ؟ قال: ( إلى أقربهما منك بابا )»

[رواه البخارى]

Dear Neighbor Sister, may Allah preserve you, neighbor’s rights include not mocking or scorning him/her whatever his/her gender, language or nationality. Mocking people or scorning them is a major sin. Allah has forbidden us from that. Allah says: “O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers.” [Al Hujuraat 49:11]
{يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِّن قَوْمٍ عَسَىٰ أَن يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِّنْهُمْ وَلَا نِسَاءٌ مِّن نِّسَاءٍ عَسَىٰ أَن يَكُنَّ خَيْرًا مِّنْهُنَّ ۖ وَلَا تَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَلَا تَنَابَزُوا بِالْأَلْقَابِ ۖ بِئْسَ الِاسْمُ الْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ الْإِيمَانِ ۚ وَمَن لَّمْ يَتُبْ فَأُولَـٰئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ} [الحجرات: 11]
Transliteration: Yā 'Ayyuhā Al-Ladhīna 'Āmanū Lā Yaskhar Qawmun Min Qawmin Asá 'An Yakūnū Khayrāan Minhum Wa Lā Nisā'un Min Nisā'in Asá 'An Yakunna Khayrāan Minhunna Wa Lā Talmizū 'Anfusakum Wa Lā Tanābazū Bil-'Alqābi Bi'sa Al-Aismu Al-Fusūqu Bada Al-'Īmāni Wa Man Lam Yatub Fa'ūlā'ika Humu Až-Žālimūna

Dear Sister, consider this verse and see how He Almighty forbidden both men and women, but mentioned women in particular! Allah did so because He knows that mockery is more likely to be from women. (Summary of Tafseer Al-Qurtubi)

Neighbor’s rights include exchanging visits with her. Therefore, do not wait her visit and take the initiative.

Let us have visits in regular basis to have conversation, learn benefit things and share knowledge.

Dear Neighbor Sister, be a beneficent neighbor, do not hurt your neighbor, and know that being patient in the face of neighbor’s hurt is the superior kind of being beneficent to him/her. Abu Dhar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the prophet peace be upon him said: “Allah loves three types of people; …. and whoever has a neighbor that hurts him, but he be patient till death or moving out part their neighborhood.” [Declared Authentic by Al-Albani]
«ثلاثة يحبهم...والرجل يكون له الجار يؤذيه جاره فيصبر على أذاه حتى يفرق بينهما موت أو طعن...»

[صححه الألبانى]

Al-Hassan Al-Bassry, may Allah mercy him, said: “Being a good neighbor does not mean not to hurt him/her, instead being a good neighbor means being patient in the face of his hurt.”

Dear Neighbor Sister, take care of your neighbors. Therefore, you may provide help to needy person. Omar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the prophet peace be upon him said: “A man should not replete and ignore his hungry neighbor.”
«لا يشبع الرجل دون جاره»

Dear Beloved Neighbor Sister, had you ever considered Allah’s saying: “And withhold [simple] assistance” [Al Maa’uun 107:7]
{وَيَمْنَعُونَ الْمَاعُونَ}

[الماعون: 7]
Transliteration: Wa Yamnaūna Al-Māūna

Some exegeses mention that this verse refers to dereliction of neighbor’s rights and not lending him/her what s/he needs from water, fire, salt, utensils, blankets, and so on.

Dear sister, take care of paying back what you borrowed. It is mentioned that the Makhzoumy woman’s hand was cut for not paying pack what she borrowed from neighbors.

Dear Neighbor Sister, you should like doing for us what you like to be done for you of good deeds, and hate doing for us what you hate to be done for you of evil deeds. This is part of the Muslim rights toward his brother. Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the prophet peace be upon him said: “None of you will be a true believer till he likes to his brother (or neighbor) what he likes to himself.” [Narrated by Muslim]
«لا يؤمن أحدكم حتى يحب لأخيه ( أو قال لجاره ) ما يحب لنفسه»

[رواه مسلم]

Dear Neighbor Sister, neighbor’s rights are uncountable. It includes being Lenient with her, doing favors to her, assisting her, visiting her during her illness, congratulating her in the happy occasions, helping her if she needed help, asking about her if she disappeared, being beneficent to her, thanking her favors, not hurting her by word or deed, not listening in to her secrets, not snubbing her children, preferring doing good to her, not enforcing her to hear what she does not like…etc.

Examples of dealing with neighbors:

Example:

The best example is the example of the best man peace be upon him. The prophet peace be upon him knew neighbor’s rights better than anyone else and did well to his neighbors more than anyone else.

He (peace be upon him) tolerated the hurt of his neighbors who used to hurt him in Mecca; such as Abu Lahab and his wife.

He encouraged being beneficent to neighbors and ordered his family and companions to take care of neighbors and give them of their food. He used to visit his neighbors and invite them to what is good. When his Jewish neighbor became sick, he visited him with his companions, and said to him: “‘Do you bear witness that there is no God but Allah and that I am His messenger?’ The young man looked at his father. His father stayed silent, so he stayed silent too. The prophet peace be upon him repeated his question for the second time, and then he repeated it for the third time. At the third time, the young man’s father said to his son: ‘Say what he asked you.’ The young man did, then he died. Jews wanted to take him for his being one of their subjects, but the prophet peace be upon him said: ‘We have this priority.’ The prophet peace be upon him purified him, prayed upon him, enshrouded him, scented him, and prayed upon him. [Ahmed Shaker]
«أن غلاما يهوديا كان يضع للنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم وضوءه ويناوله نعليه , فمرض , فأتاه النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فدخل عليه وأبوه قاعد عند رأسه , فقال له النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم : يا فلان , قل : لا إله إلا الله فنظر إلى أبيه , فسكت أبوه , فأعاد عليه النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ، فنظر إلى أبيه , فقال أبوه : أطع أبا القاسم , فقال الغلام : أشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وأنك رسول الله , فخرج النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم وهو يقول : الحمد لله الذي أخرجه من النار»

[أحمد شاكر].

Dear Neighbor Sister, consider how the prophet peace be upon him dealt with his neighbors whether they are Muslims or non-Muslims.

Example:

It is narrated that a sheep had been slaied to Abdullah bin Omar, so he continued asking his servant; did you sent from it to our Jewish neighbor, I heard the prophet peace be upon him says: “Gabriel continued commending to the neighbor till I thought that he will assign to him a share of the inheritance.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhary, Abu Dawud and Al-Termezy).
« ما زال جبريل يوصيني بالجار ، حتى ظننت أنه سيورثه»

[البخاري في الأدب المفرد وأبو داود وقال الترمذي حسن غريب]

Example:

Imam Abu Hanifa, may Allah mercy him, had a neighbor that was working as a shoemaker. This man used to work all day long, and when night comes, he returns home with meat to cook or fish to grill. After eating, he drinks and raises his voice repeating some poetry until he sleeps while Abu Hanifa hears his voice during praying Tahajud. At a night, Abu Hanifa did not hear his voice. When he asked about him, people said that the governor had jailed him. Therefore, Abu Hanifa went to the governor who released the man. During returning home, the shoemaker rode behind Abu Hanifa. Abu Hanifa said: “O young man, did we derelict you?” “No, instead you preserved and cared, may Allah reward you well for taking care of neighborhood.” And the man had repented. [declared authentic by Tirmizi]

Example:

There was a Muslim Arab woman living in a Parisian city in a house of four stores. At one day, when she was downing stairs quickly to catch the metro to her college, she heard faint whine next to the stairs. She feared, but continued downing stairs carefully. The more she downed, the clearer the voice became, until it became clear enough that the whiner suffers from severe pain. At this moment, the sense of Muslim for helping the needy had waked in her heart. Therefore, she hurried toward the whiner, and found herself facing her old neighbor woman. She approached her and asked: “What is the matter?” The old woman told her that she stepped over a banana’s peel on the stairs, so she slipped and her leg had been broken, and she is not able to move. Also, she told her that many French dwellers noticed her asking for help, but none of them helped her, instead they looked at their watches and at her then hurried to their works. The Muslim woman carried her neighbor to the nearest clinic and cared for her until she recovered. After being able to walk again, the old woman went to visit the one who did favor to her, and asked her about the secret of this care and love that she had from her and never had them from others. The Muslim woman told her that it is the Islam, which orders us to be beneficent to the neighbor. The neighbor began to ask about Islam and its legislations until she converted to it and became true believer.

Neighbor Sister, know that your neighbors are three kinds:

1- One kind has three rights. This is the Muslim, near and kin neighbor. S/he has the rights of Islam, kinsfolk and neighborhood.
2- Another kind has two rights. This is the Muslim near neighbor. S/he has the rights of Islam and neighborhood.
3- Another kind has only one right. This is the near non-Muslim neighbor. S/he has the right of neighborhood.

Know the rights of every kind. Be beneficent to your neighbors, and know that their testimony of your being beneficent to them is the sign of your beneficence. Abdullah bin Masoud (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that a man said to the prophet peace be upon him: “How would I know when I do well or bad?” the prophet peace be upon him said: “If you heard your neighbors say you did well, then you did well. And if you heard them say you did badly, then you did badly.” [Narrated by Ahmed and declared authentic by Al-Albany]
« كيف لي أن أعلم إذا أحسنت وإذا أسأت قال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم إذا سمعت جيرانك يقولون أن قد أحسنت فقد أحسنت وإذا سمعتهم يقولون قد أسأت فقد أسأت»

[رواه أحمد و صححه الألبانى]

May Allah guide us all to what is good, and help us to cooperate in righteousness and piety. Finally, may Allah bestow His prayers and peace upon our master, Muhammad, and his family and companions.



Compiled by Dar Al-Wahyayn


Translated by Wathakker.info website