Ways of purifying the hearts
{And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islamic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best. (Because) Shaitan (Satan) verily, sows disagreements among them. Surely, Shaitan (Satan) is to man a plain enemy.} [Surat Al-Isrâ` 17:53]
- Categories: Asceticism and Heart Softening -
All praise is due to Allah alone and prayers and peace of Allah be upon the Chosen Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him).
Today, he who considers the relations of many Muslims between each others would see a wide gap between them in their relations; enmity has prevailed, forsake has dominated and grudge has increased till it reached to the relatives and neighbors. And if we searched for the reasons of this disagreement and this forsake, we would find that they are just trivial reasons or things that have no value. You would find someone boycotts his brother because he did not invite him to a banquet; second one boycotts his brother because he does not respond to his phone calls and third one boycotts his brother because he scorned one of his children!
Disagreements break out and get aggravated and every one forsakes his brother without knowing that this is the ambition of Satan and his ultimate goal. No wonder, it is he who swore by Allah’s Glory to entice the children of Adam and beautify the evil to them. Also, it is he who did not stop arousing conflicts between the Muslims and planting hatred in their chests; Allah Almighty said: {And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islamic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best. (Because) Shaitan (Satan) verily, sows disagreements among them. Surely, Shaitan (Satan) is to man a plain enemy.} [Surat Al-Isrâ` 17:53]
{وَقُل لِّعِبَادِي يَقُولُواْ الَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ يَنزَغُ بَيْنَهُمْ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ كَانَ لِلإِنْسَانِ عَدُوّاً مُّبِيناً} الإسراء: 53
Transliteration: Waqul liAAibadee yaqooloo allatee hiya ahsanu inna alshshaytana yanzaghu baynahum inna alshshaytana kana lilinsani AAaduwwan mubeenan
And if we attentively looked at the badness of the relationships between the Muslims, we would discover that it is definitely because of ignorance and being away from the guidance of the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him).
Hearts’ cleaners:
- The good word:
By Allah, how many times the good words affected the hearts of people in disagreement! How many times the good words turned the disturbance into clearness, the grudge into love and the enmity into mercy. In fact, he who says the good word obeys the order of Allah Almighty Who says: {and speak good to people [i.e. enjoin righteousness and forbid evil, and say the truth about Muhammad, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him]} [Surat Al-Baqarah 2:83]
{وَقُولُواْ لِلنَّاسِ حُسْناً} البقرة: 83
Transliteration: waqooloo lilnnasi husnan
- Fulfilling the rights of the Muslim brothers:
There are great influences to these rights on the hearts of the believers. These rights include extending greetings to those whom you know or do not know, because it is one of the reasons of bringing love; the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Would I guide you to something if you did it you would love each other? Spread greetings among each other” [Reported by Muslim]
«أولا أدلكم على شيء إذا فعلتموه تحاببتم؛ أفشوا السلام بينكم» رواه مسلم
Ibn Omar said: “Verily, I get out intending nothing but greeting people and receiving their greetings.” In fact, there is great effect to the greeting beside its being a way for attracting the hearts of those who are involved in disagreement. And if these rights have been accomplished, we would never have found these conflicts and disagreements that we see today.
- Gifts
The Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Exchange gifts, then you will love each other” [Declared good by Al-Albani]
«تهادوا تحابوا» حسنه الألباني
And he (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) also said: “If a trotter or shoulder (of a lamb) is gifted to me, I would have accepted it” [Reported by Al-Bukhari]
«لو أهدي إلي كُراع أو ذراع لقبلت» رواه البخاري
Actually, this indicates that the Prophet cared for presenting the gifts even if they were simple things in the eyes of people. Indeed, gifts have great effect in removing hearts’ turbidity and discordance.
- Happy mien and cheerful and smile:
How many persons you have loved although you know nothing about them but their being cheerful have happy mien. Jarir (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) never saw me but he smiled at my face.”
- Avoiding suspicion:
Allah Almighty said about avoiding suspicion, which He called it ‘sin’: {O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion} [Surat Al-Hujurât 49:12]
{يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِّنَ الظَّنِّ} الحجرات: 12
Transliteration: Ya ayyuha allatheena amanoo ijtaniboo katheeran mina alththanni
Allah Almighty did not say ‘avoid little suspicion’ because suspicion is many not little. Indeed, it is one of the things that spoiled the relations between Muslims and clouded the clearness of their cordiality and planted hatred and grudge in their hearts. Actually, how many quick judgment led to hatred and enmity are followed by regret because of its being just conjecture can be of no avail against the truth. Then, it would be difficult to restore the same cordiality that was there.
- Having different characteristics:
Remember that when Allah created the creation, He created them with different characteristics, minds and behaviors. If the person knew that, he would deal with people according to it. Surly, this needs perfect understanding and wisdom accompanied with patience, kindness and leniency.
- Forgiving people and helping them:
Indeed, this is one of the greatest things of purify the hearts and clearing it. Allah ordered the creditor to be patient if the debtor could not pay; surly, this is help and support; Allah Almighty said: {And if the debtor is in a hard time (has no money), then grant him time till it is easy for him to repay, but if you remit it by way of charity, that is better for you if you did but know} [Surat Al-Baqarah 2:280],
{وَإِن كَانَ ذُو عُسْرَةٍ فَنَظِرَةٌ إِلَىٰ مَيْسَرَةٍ ۚ وَأَن تَصَدَّقُوا خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ ۖ إِن كُنتُمْ تَعْلَمُونَ} البقرة: 280
Transliteration: Wain kana thoo AAusratin fanathiratun ila maysaratin waan tasaddaqoo khayrun lakum in kuntum taAAlamoona
and the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) narrated to us that a man from among the rich people of the children of Israel used to give loan to the people, and used to say to his servants, ‘If the debtor is poor, forgive him, so that Allah may forgive us.’ So when he met Allah (after his death), Allah forgave him because of that. Everyone should know that He Almighty is the Most Generous and Munificent; the generosity of all creatures equals nothing if it is compared to His Generosity. Allah Almighty said in the Qudsi Hadith: “O My servants, if the first and the last among you, including your men and jinn, have been gathered in one valley and then asked me (to give them) and I gave every one of them what he asked, this would decrease nothing of My dominion but like what the needle takes from the ocean.” [Reported by Muslim]
«يا عبادي، لو أن أولكم وآخركم، وإنسكم وجنكم، قاموا في صعيد واحد فسألوني فأعطيت كل إنسان مسألته، ما نقص ذلك مما عندي إلا كما ينقص المخيط إذا أدخل البحر» رواه مسلم
- Remembering the defects:
Man should remember his own defects, because this incites caring for them and being ready for standing between the Hands of the Compeller (the Exalted the Glorious) to be asked about what his hands, legs, hearing, limbs and eyes have done. It is shame for a man to be busy with the defects of someone else although he himself is indulged in what is worse. Ibn Hibban said: “He who looked for the defects of people and overlooked his own defects, his heart would get blind and his body would get tired and he would not see his own defects. Indeed, the lowest man is the one who blames people for things he himself has them.”
- Loving good to Muslims:
This is proof for the goodness of the heart and being away from envy and grudge; the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “None of you will have faith till he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari]
«لا يؤمن أحدكم حتى يحب لأخيه ما يحب لنفسه» رواه البخاري
Ibn ‘Abbâs (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “When I hear that rain fell upon one of the Muslim countries, I be happy because of that; although, by Allah I have neither sheep nor trees in it.”
- Beware of talebearers and backbiters:
Never allow a talebearer or backbiter to spoil your relationship with your brother. Indeed, how many relations have been spoiled by such people, especially if they found ears ready to listen to them.
Al-Ghazali said: “When a person bears a tale to someone, the listener should do six things:
1- Not to believe him, because the talebearer is unfaithful.
2- To prevent him from tale bearing and tell him that this is evil.
3- To hate him for the sake of Allah, because Allah hates such person.
4- Not to suspect his absent brother.
5- Not to spy on others because of what he heard.
6- Not to accept to himself what he prevented the talebearer from (i.e. not to say ‘X said to me so and so’).
Actually, we would like to add to the previous six things praying to whom talked about you, because this is the characteristic of the chosen slaves of Allah. It is narrated that it was said to one of the righteous forefathers “X says so and so about you” whereupon he said: “I will enrage the one who ordered him.” People asked: “Who ordered him?” he replied: “Satan,” then he raised his hands to pray for him.
- Religion is advice:
Surly, there is great effect for advice in correcting the mistakes and declaring the right. And because of the greatness of advice, the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) took pledge of allegiance from his companions on giving advice. Jarir ibn Abdullah said: “I gave pledge of allegiance to the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) on the observance of prayer, payment of Zakat and giving advice for every Muslim.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
«بايعت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم على إقام الصلاة وإيتاء الزكاة والنصح لكل مسلم» رواه البخاري ومسلم
In fact, there are etiquettes for the advisor and etiquettes for the advised. The etiquettes of the adviser include not to give it in public, to use kind words, to introduce introduction indicates sincerity and well-wishing and to specify the appropriate time. On the other hand, the advised person should accept the advice and not to be haughty or suspect that the adviser seeks pride or such things, which are inspired by Satan.
- The best sinners are those who repent:
The Muslim should help the others and forgive them and know that every man is a sinner but the best sinners are those who repent; Allah Almighty said: {And if Allâh were to seize mankind for their wrong-doing, He would not leave on it (the earth) a single moving (living) creature} [Surat An-Nahl 16:61]
{وَلَوْ يُؤَاخِذُ اللَّـهُ النَّاسَ بِظُلْمِهِم مَّا تَرَكَ عَلَيْهَا مِن دَابَّةٍ} النحل: 61
Transliteration: Walaw yuakhithu Allahu alnnasa bithulmihim ma taraka AAalayha min dabbatin
Moreover, Allah Almighty declared that man is weak, hasty, forgetful and full of mistakes; therefore, man should deal with whoever has these characteristics with forgiveness and tolerance, especially if he committed a sin or remised. It is narrated that a man who drank wine was lashed between the hands of the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) and one of the companions said to him, “May Allah disgrace him that he is brought here often!?!” Thereupon the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said, “Do not help Satan against your (Muslim) brother.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari]
«لا تكونوا عون الشيطان على أخيكم» رواه البخاري
And he said about the man who was lashed for drinking wine: “Do not curse him, for by Allah, I know for he loves Allah and His Messenger.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari]
«لا تلعنوه؛ فوالله ما علمت إلا أنه يحب الله ورسوله» رواه البخاري
- Verifying transmitted news:
You should be sure about the veracity of the news that you hear about your brothers. In fact, how many times a man made his mind after listening to one part without listening to the second part. Indeed, it is injustice to judge your brothers before being sure about the veracity of what you heard; Allah Almighty said: {O you who believe! If a Fâsiq (liar - evil person) comes to you with any news, verify it, lest you should harm people in ignorance, and afterwards you become regretful for what you have done} [Surat Al-Hujurât 49:6]
{يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِن جَاءَكُمْ فَاسِقٌ بِنَبَإٍ فَتَبَيَّنُوا أَن تُصِيبُوا قَوْمًا بِجَهَالَةٍ فَتُصْبِحُوا عَلَىٰ مَا فَعَلْتُمْ نَادِمِينَ} الحجرات: 6
Transliteration: Ya ayyuha allatheena amanoo in jaakum fasiqun binabain fatabayyanoo an tuseeboo qawman bijahalatin fatusbihoo AAala ma faAAaltum nadimeena
- Not mocking or gibing the believers:
Verily, such behavior indicates the dullness of mind and weakness of belief. Moreover, it is one of the reasons that make the hearts turn against each other; Allah Almighty said: {O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it to insult one’s brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: "O sinner", or "O wicked"]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zâlimûn (wrong-doers, etc.)} [Surat Al-Hujurât 49:11]
{يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِّن قَوْمٍ عَسَىٰ أَن يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِّنْهُمْ وَلَا نِسَاءٌ مِّن نِّسَاءٍ عَسَىٰ أَن يَكُنَّ خَيْرًا مِّنْهُنَّ ۖ وَلَا تَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَلَا تَنَابَزُوا بِالْأَلْقَابِ ۖ بِئْسَ الِاسْمُ الْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ الْإِيمَانِۚ وَمَن لَّمْ يَتُبْ فَأُولَـٰئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ} الحجرات: 11
Transliteration: Ya ayyuha allatheena amanoo la yaskhar qawmun min qawmin AAasa an yakoonoo khayran minhum wala nisaon min nisain AAasa an yakunna khayran minhunna wala talmizoo anfusakum walatanabazoo bialalqabi bisa alismu alfusooqu baAAda aleemani waman lam yatub faolaika humu alththalimoona
Also, it is one of the signs of pride, not to mention mocking the creation which indicates mocking the Creator. In fact, Allah measures people by their belief; Allah Almighty said: {Verily, the most honourable of you with Allâh is that (believer) who has At-Taqwâ [i.e. he is one of the Muttaqûn (the pious)} [Surat Al-Hujurât 49:13]
{إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ} الحجرات: 13
Transliteration: inna akramakum AAinda Allahi atqakum
And the Messenger of Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Verily Allah does not look to your bodies nor to your faces but He looks to your hearts and deeds.” [Reported by Muslim] This also includes mocking the abilities and certificates or the nationality and home or cracking jokes or any way of mocking.
«إن الله لا ينظر إلى صوركم وأموالكم، ولكن ينظر إلى قلوبكم وأعمالكم» رواه مسلم
- Intercession for a good cause
It is one of the great reasons of cordiality and love between the interceder and to whom the intercession is made; Allah Almighty said: {Whosoever intercedes for a good cause will have the reward thereof} [Surat An-Nisâ` 4:85]
{مَّن يَشْفَعْ شَفَاعَةً حَسَنَةً يَكُن لَّهُ نَصِيبٌ مِّنْهَا} النساء: 85
Transliteration: Man yashfaAA shafaAAatan hasanatan yakun lahu naseebun minha
Actually, this is restricted to having it in lawful thing. However; if intercession was for unlawful thing, such as having the properties of others or transgressing their rights, it would be unlawful intercession, because Allah Almighty says: {and whosoever intercedes for an evil cause will have a share in its burden} [Surat An-Nisâ` 4:85]
{وَمَن يَشْفَعْ شَفَاعَةً سَيِّئَةً يَكُن لَّهُ كِفْلٌ مِّنْهَا} النساء: 85
Transliteration: waman yashfaAA shafaAAatan sayyiatan yakun lahu kiflun minha
Also, among the Ahadith that indicate the excellence of intercession is the saying of the Messenger of Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him): “Intercede and you will receive the reward for it; and Allah will bring about what He will through the tongue of His Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him).” [Reported by Al-Bukhari]
«اشفعوا تؤجروا، ويقضي الله على لسان نبيه صلى الله عليه وسلم ما شاء» رواه البخاري
- Unselfishness and giving priority to the brothers over the selves:
Indeed, this is an indication to the strength of belief and emphasis to love in the hearts. Moreover, it is one of the greatest ways for expelling miserliness and stinginess from the heart. It is Reported in the two Sahihs that the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) praised the Ash’aries (tribe of Abu Musa Al-Ash’ari) by saying: “When the Ash’aries run short of provisions in the campaigns or run short of food for their children in Medina, they collect whatever is with them in a piece of cloth and then partake equally from one vessel. Therefore, they are from me and I am from them.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari]
«إن الأشعريين إذا أرملوا في الغزو أو قلَّ طعامُ عيالهم بالمدينة جمعوا ما كان عندهم في ثوبٍ واحد، ثم اقتسموه بينهم في إناءٍ واحد بالسوية، فهم مني، وأنا منهم»رواه البخاري
- Consultation and seeking the opinions of the brothers:
How many persons went in the straight path and gained the good that they seek and wish, because of having honest consultant. Furthermore, this is one of the reasons that make the hearts love each other and go in the right direction; Allah Almighty said: {and consult them in the affairs} [Surat Al-‘Imrân 3:159]
{وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الأَمْرِ} آل عمران: 159
Transliteration: washawirhum fee alamri
Al-Hassan and Ad-Dahâk said: “Allah Almighty did not order His Prophet to consult (others) because of needing their opinion; rather He wanted them to know the excellence of consultation and to make it example to the nation after the Prophet.”
Actually, not seeking consultation indicates being arrogant with one’s own opinion; someone said: “He who admires his own opinion would not seek consultation, and he who hold fast to his own opinion is far away from the rightful opinion.” Also, the consultant should be honest in his counsel and deal with the affairs of his brother as if they were his own; because the Prophet (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “None of you will have faith till he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari]
«لا يؤمن أحدكم حتى يحب لأخيه ما يحب لنفسه» رواه البخاري
- Not to reveal secrets:
You should not reveal the secrets which are entrusted to you, because it is one of the reasons of spoiling the relations between the brothers. Ar-Raghib said: “Revealing the secret is an indication to lack of patience and constriction of chest these are the characteristics of weak men, children and women.” Al-Hassan said: “It is betrayal to reveal your brother’s secret.”
One day, Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) became late for being busy with fulfilling one of the affairs of the Messenger of Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him). When he came back to his mother, she asked him, ‘O my son, where was you?’ and he answered her by saying ‘I was fulfilling some affair to the Messenger of Allah’. She asked him, ‘what is this affair?’ and he replied by saying, ‘it is secret,’ whereupon she said, ‘never reveal the secret of the Messenger of Allah to anybody.’ Anas said to his son, Thabit: ‘O Thabit, if I were to reveal it to someone, I would have revealed it to you, Thabit.’ Consider how he guarded the secret of the Messenger of Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) and did not reveal it to his mother then to his son! This indicates caring for guarding the secret and keeping it preserved for a long time.
- Never desert your Muslim brother:
Remember the consequence of deserting and boycotting among Muslims. Verily, there are great texts, for prohibiting desertion, that indicate the danger of it. The Messenger of Allah (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “It is not lawful for a Muslim to desert his brother more than three (i.e. days).” [Reported by Al-Bukhari],
«لا يحل لمسلم أن يهجر أخاه فوق ثلاث» رواه البخاري
And he (prayers and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “When someone deserts his brother for a year, it would be like shedding his blood.” [Authenticated by Al-Albani]
«من هجر أخاه سنة فهو كسفك دمه» صححه الألباني
Finally, we ask Allah by His good names and exalted attributes to guide all Muslims to what He likes and pleases, and we ask Him to put in their hearts love and cordiality and to remove from their hearts grudge and envy; verily, He is All-Hearer Responsive. And prayers and peace of Allah be upon our prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.