Illuminative lamps on the way of Muslim woman
The pleasure of life, its beauty, and its utmost happiness are not achieved except through the obedience of Allah that does not cost anything except standing firm by the commandments of Allah and following His Path.
- Categories: Muslim Women's Issues -
Rejoicing at the obedience of Allah
My Muslim sister! If this world were clear of grievances and free from misfortunes, which is impossible, the mere remembrance of death will turn its sweet to sour, its more to less, its long to short and its felicity to turbulence. This would be the case if man ensured that he would live long. So, how is the case with the fact that if one witnessed the morning, he would fear never to reach the night, if he kept alive till the night, he would not be sure of getting up (alive) next morning. If the cloud of a calamity disperses, another one will appear. In this world, one is shocked by the loss of his relatives and the death of his friends. When he feels a contingent pain at one of the parts of his body, when he imagines an increase of his heart's beats, or even when he has poor appetite, he becomes obsessed by the phantom of death hovering over him. As a result, he becomes terrified and frightened, so; his illness worsens, and he becomes overcome by gloominess. It seems as if such fear would push death away or even delay it.
How weak man is! You see him a lively active fleshy young man until he reaches the autumn of his age. At that time, you will see him a humpbacked one with a wrinkled face. He will feel tired at the least effort and exhausted at the least work. In this world, you see a rich man who inhabits a lavish palace, drives luxury vehicles, and enjoys comfortable bed. Afterward, days turn their ugly face to him, so, he lives in what he has previously disdained, rides what he has scorned, wears what he has previously considered as coarse, and eats what he has disgusted.
The pleasure of life, its beauty, and its utmost happiness are not achieved except through the obedience of Allah that does not cost anything except standing firm by the commandments of Allah and following His Path. Through this, one can continue his life with untroubled conscience, peace of mind, calmness, unbroken happiness, and bright face. Moreover, he will pardon whoever abuses him and forgive the slips of whoever offends him. In addition, he will show mercy towards the young and reverence towards the old. He will like carrying out the needs of people, being at their service and tolerating their annoyances. He does not neglect an act of obedience to Allah, whether small or great. On the contrary, he adheres to every deed that brings him closer to Allah. Moreover, when calamities befall him, he receives them with patience and satisfaction. When the moment of death comes, he views it as a salvation from the troubles of life and a journey to the Abode of Eternity.
Avoid excessive talking
1- Avoid gossip and loquaciousness. Allah says, {There is no good in most of their secret talks save (in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity in Allâh’s Cause), or Ma‘rûf (Islâmic Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allâh has ordained), or conciliation between mankind;} [Surat An-Nisâ' 4:114]
{لا خَيْرَ فِي كَثِيرٍ مِنْ نَجْوَاهُمْ إِلا مَنْ أَمَرَ بِصَدَقَةٍ أَوْ مَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ إِصْلاحٍ بَيْنَ النَّاسِ} النساء:114
Transliteration:La khayra fee katheerin min najwahum illa man amara bisadaqatin aw maAAroofin aw islahin bayna alnnasi
You should know that there are angels who record your speech and count your words. {(Remember) that the two receivers (recording angels) receive (each human being), one sitting on the right and one on the left (to note his or her actions). [17]. Not a word does he (or she) utter but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it).} [Surat Qâf 50:17-18].
{إِذْ يَتَلَقَّى الْمُتَلَقِّيَانِ عَنِ الْيَمِينِ وَعَنِ الشِّمَالِ قَعِيدٌ (17) مَا يَلْفِظُ مِنْ قَوْلٍ إِلا لَدَيْهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيدٌ} ق:17-18
Transliteration:Ith yatalaqqa almutalaqqiyani AAani alyameeni waAAani alshshimali qaAAeedun (17) Ma yalfithu min qawlin illa ladayhi raqeebun AAateedun
Your words should be concise and straightforward to the point for which you are speaking.
2- Recite the Holy Quran and make sure to have a daily regular portion (of the Quran) to read. Try to memorize (by heart) some of it as possible as you can so that you attain a great reward on the Day of Judgment. 'Abdullah ibn 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, narrated that the Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, "It will be said to the one who was devoted to the Qur'an, 'Recite, ascend and recite carefully as you recited carefully when you were in this worldly life. Verily, you will reach your abode when you come to the last verse you recite." [Reported by Abû Dawûd 1464 and classed as good and authentic by Al-Albâni]
«قال لصاحب القرآن: اقرأ وارتق ورتل كما كنت ترتل في الدّنيا فإنّ منزلك عند آخر آية تقرؤها» رواه أبو داود وقال الألباني: حسن صحيح
3- It is not good to speak about everything you have heard as this may lead to lying. Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, "It is enough lying of a Muslim to tell about everything he hears." [Reported by Muslim 5]
«كفى بالمرء كذبًا أن يحدث بكل ما سمع» رواه مسلم
4- Beware of boasting (showing pride) of what you do not own for rising in the view of people. Aisha, may Allah be pleased, her narrated that a woman said, "O Messenger of Allah, can I say that my husband has given me something that he has not given me?" The Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, "The one who boasts about things he was not given is like that who wears two garments of falsehood." [Reported by Muslim 2129]
«يا رسول الله أقول إن زوجي أعطاني ما لم يعطني؟ قال رسول الله -صلّى الله عليه وسلم-: المتشبع بما لم يعط، كلابس ثوبي زور» رواه مسلم
5- The remembrance of Allah has a great effect on the spiritual, psychological, physical, and social life of Muslims. Therefore, my sister, be keen in remembering Allah at all times in whatever state you are in. Allah has praised His devoted slaves describing them as, {Those who remember Allâh (always, and in prayers) standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides,} [Surat Al-'Imrân 3:191]
{الَّذِينَ يَذْكُرُونَ اللَّهَ قِيَامًا وَقُعُودًا وَعَلَى جُنُوبِهِمْ} آل عمران:191
Transliteration: Allatheena yathkuroona Allaha qiyaman waquAAoodan waAAala junoobihim
'Abdullah ibn Busr, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that a man said to the Prophet, "O Messenger of Allah! The laws of Islam have become too many for me, so tell me about something to which I can cling." Upon which the Messenger of Allah replied, "Do not let your tongue cease to be moist with the remembrance of Allah." [Reported by At-Tirmidhi 3375 and deemed authentic by Al-Albâni]
«يا رسول الله إن شرائع الإسلام قد كثرت علي فأخبرني بشيء أتشبث به قال: لا يزال لسانك رطبًا من ذكر الله» رواه الترمذي وصححه الألباني
6- If you wish to speak, beware of ostentation, pompousness, and gutturalization. These traits are repugnant to the Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, as he has said, "The most repugnant and remote people from me on the Day of Judgment are the garrulous, the drawlers, and the arrogant pretentious ones." [Reported by Al-Albâni 791 in as-Silsilah as-Sahîhah (the Authentic Series) with a good chain of transmission]
«وإن أبغضكم إليّ وأبعدكم منّي مجلسًا يوم القيامة الثّرثارون، والمتشدقون، والمتفيهقون» رواه الألباني فى السلسلة الصحيحة بإسناد حسن
7- You should take the Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, as your example in his pattern of conduct. He used to keep silent, think deeply and not to laugh much. Sammâk narrated that he asked Jâbir ibn Samra, "Have you used to sit with the Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him?" Jabir answered, "Yes, and his silence was long, and his laughter was little." [Classed as good by Al-Albâni 4822 in Sahîh aj-Jâmi' (the Authentic Collection)]
«كان طويل الصّمت، قليل الضّحك» صححه الألباني فى صحيح الجامع
Your words, if you speak, should be good or else it is better to keep silent. The Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak a good word or remain silent." [Reported by Al-Bukhari 6475 and Muslim 47]
«من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فليقل خيرًا أو ليصمت» رواه البخاري ومسلم
8- Avoid interrupting the speeches of others, disproving their words, or underestimating them. Let paying attention to them appears as a sign of your good manners. In addition, let repelling evil with that which is better as the best sign of your personality.
9- Beware of mocking people's way of speaking; one who falters in his speech or he who stutters or lisps. Allah says, {O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former.} [Surat Al-Hujurât 49:11]
{يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِنْ قَوْمٍ عَسَى أَنْ يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِنْهُمْ وَلا نِسَاءٌ مِنْ نِسَاءٍ عَسَى أَنْ يَكُنَّ خَيْرًا مِنْهُنَّ} الحجرات: 11
Transliteration: la yaskhar qawmun min qawmin AAasa an yakoonoo khayran minhum wala nisaon min nisain AAasa an yakunna khayran minhunna
In addition, the Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, "A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He neither oppresses him nor humiliates him nor looks down upon him. It is a serious evil for a Muslim that he should look down upon his Muslim brother." [Reported by Muslim 2564]
«المسلم أخو المسلم. لا يظلمه، ولا يخذله، ولا يحقره.. بحسب امرئ من الشر أن يحقر أخاه المسلم» رواه مسلم
10- When you hear a recitation of the Quran, stop talking whatever the matter of speech was. This is a kind of politeness towards the words of Allah and a submission to His order. Allah Almighty has said, {So, when the Qur’ân is recited, listen to it, and be silent that you may receive mercy. [i.e. during the compulsory congregational prayers when the Imâm (of a mosque) is leading the prayer (except Sûrat Al-Fâtihah), and also when he is delivering the Friday-prayer Khutbah].} [Surat Al-A'râf7:204]
{وَإِذَا قُرِئَ الْقُرْآنُ فَاسْتَمِعُوا لَهُ وَأَنْصِتُوا لَعَلَّكُمْ تُرْحَمُونَ} الأعراف: 204
Transliteration: Waitha quria alquranu faistamiAAoo lahu waansitoo laAAallakum turhamoona
11- Make every effort to weigh words before uttering them. Try hard to utter good righteous words that are far from evil and away the displeasure of Allah. Uttering a word is a great responsibility. How many words have led its speaker to Paradise and how many words have led its speaker to be thrown into Hellfire. Abû Huraira, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, "A slave (of Allah) may utter a word which pleases Allah without giving it much importance (unmindfully), and because of that word Allah will raise him to degrees (of reward). And a slave (of Allah) may utter a word (carelessly) which displeases Allah without thinking of its gravity and because of that word he will be thrown into HellFire." [Reported by Al-Bukhari 6478]
«إن العبد ليتكلم بالكلمة من رضوان الله، لا يلقي لها بالًا، يرفع الله بها درجات، وإن العبد ليتكلم بالكلمة من سخط الله، لا يلقي لها بالًا، يهوي بها في جهنم» رواه البخاري
In the Hadith narrated by Mu'âdh, may Allah be pleased with him, that he has asked the Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, "Will what we say be held against us?" He replied, "May your mother be bereaved for you, O Mu'âdh! Is there anything that topples people on their faces into Hellfire other than the harvest of their tongues?" [Reported by Ibn Majah 3224 and At-Tirmidhi 2616 and deemed authentic by Al-Albâni]
«وإنا لمؤاخذون بما نتكلم به قال: ثكلتك أمك يا معاذ وهل يكب الناس على وجوههم في النار إلا حصائد ألسنتهم» رواه ابن ماجه والترمذي وصححه الألباني
12- Use your tongue, which is the greatest blessing of Allah upon you, for enjoining what is right, forbidding what is wrong and calling for (doing) the good. Allah Almighty has said, {There is no good in most of their secret talks save (in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity in Allâh’s Cause), or Ma‘rûf (Islâmic Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allâh has ordained), or conciliation between mankind.} [Surat An-Nisâ4:114]
{لا خَيْرَ فِي كَثِيرٍ مِنْ نَجْوَاهُمْ إِلا مَنْ أَمَرَ بِصَدَقَةٍ أَوْ مَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ إِصْلاحٍ بَيْنَ النَّاسِ} النساء: 114
Transliteraion: La khayra fee katheerin min najwahum illa man amara bisadaqatin aw maAAroofin aw islahin bayna alnnasi
Going out to the market places
- Do not be keen on going out if you can find someone to run your errands. However, if you have no other choice than going out, just do it in short times according to your need.
- When you go to the market place, avoid putting on perfume, adornment and wearing beautiful clothes that may draw attention to you. Abu Mûsa, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, "If a woman puts on perfume and passes by some people to find her fragrance, then she is so and so." [Reported by Abu Dâwûd and deemed authentic by al-Albâni]
«إذا استعطرت المرأة فمرت على القوم ليجدوا ريحها، فهي كذا وكذا» رواه أبو داود وحسنه الألباني
He means adulterous. Your clothes should be loose and covering all the parts of your body.
- If you are in the market place or on your way to it, do not look around so many times because looking has serious pitfalls. When you find what you need, beware of talking too much with the sellers as it decreases modesty and opens a way to sedition.
- When you see an evil or wrongdoing in the market place or on your way to it, you must disapprove of it. If you are unable to do so, you can disapprove it only by your heart; by hating and loathing it. Allah Almighty has said, {The believers, men and women, are Auliyâ’ (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another; they enjoin (on the people) Al-Ma‘rûf (i.e. Islâmic Monotheism and all that Islâm orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islâm has forbidden)} [Surat At-Tawba9:71]
{وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتُ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَاءُ بَعْضٍ يَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ} التوبة: 71
Transliteraion: Waalmuminoona waalmuminatu baAAduhum awliyao baAAdin yamuroona bialmaAAroofi wayanhawna AAani almunkari
- Some women take a walk out to the market every day, as if it was a daily picnic. I seek refuge with Allah that you are one of those women. They are the most ones subjected to temptation and to wasting time.
- Have mercy on yourself and on your husband. There is no need to have a division of the market in your house. Do not buy anything unless you really need it.
Precious pieces of advice
- You are weak and needy to Allah. So, raise your hands begging Him always; asking Him for forgiveness, well-being, and success in this worldly life and the Hereafter. By doing this, you will gain everything good from Him, Glory be to Him. The Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, "Verily, your Lord, blessed and exalted He is, is shy and generous. He is shy of His slave when he raises his hands (supplicating Him) to send them back empty." [Narrated by Abu Dâwûd 1488 and deemed authentic by Al-Albani]
«إن ربّكم -تبارك وتعالى- حيي كريم يستحيي من عبده إذا رفع يديه إليه أن يردهما صفرًا» رواه أبو داود وصححه الألباني
- When you see a Muslim woman committed to her religion, responsive to the commands of Allah, and proud of her faith, love her and make her your best friend. Love for the sake of Allah has a great status. The Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, "Allah Glorified and Exalted has said, 'Those who love each other for my sake have pulpits of light, and they are envied by the prophets and martyrs.'" [Narrated by at-Tirmidhi and deemed authentic by Al-Albani]
«قال الله -عزّ وجلّ- المتحابون في جلالي لهم منابر من نور يغبطهم النّبيون والشّهداء» رواه الترمذي وصححه الألباني
- Visiting kin and kith brings about blessings in life and sustenance, therefore, be keen in visiting your relatives. The Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, "Whoever would like to have his livelihood extended, and that he leaves a long lived impact he must visit his kin and kith." [Narrated by al-Bukhari 5986 and Muslim 2557]
«من أحب أن يبسط له في رزقه، وينسأ له في أثره، فليصل رحمه» رواه البخاري ومسلم
- Smile always. It does not cost you anything, at the same time; it will bring you the love of others as well as the reward of Allah. The Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, "Smiling at your brother is charity." [Reported by at-Tirmidhi 1956 and classed by Al-Albâni as authentic]
«تبسمك في وجه أخيك لك صدقة» رواه الترمذي وصححه الألباني
- Make your ears chaste from listening to music, songs, and obscene words.
- You are a Muslim woman; accordingly, your clothes must comply with the Islamic specifications. It should be loose so that it does not show nor describe your body.
Prayers and peace of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon all his family and companions.
Ibn Khuzaymah House