Polygamy is a blessing not an Adversity

Let everyone of us imagine that his sister or daughter has missed the train of marriage for any reason, or let everyone imagine the situation of the widow or the divorced that Allah Almighty preordained her to be in this condition. Who will embark upon marrying such women?

Categories: Marriage and Family Relations -

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

All the praises and thanks be to Allah Who made marrying two or three or four women permissible. Prayers and peace of Allah be upon the best one who applied this prescription and the best who observed justice in it (i.e. Prophet Muhammad).

Allah does not prescribe anything but that it contains all good and benefit for the creatures. Allah Glorified and Exalted is All-Wise, All-Acquainted, and All-Merciful. Moreover, the Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, does not speak from his own desire, but rather, it is only a Revelation that is revealed. His speech is true and so are his actions. The Prophet never does anything except by an order from Allah Almighty, never acknowledges anything that he sees from one of his companions except by a command from Allah. Amongst these things is polygamy. Allah Glorified and Exalted has prescribed and allowed it for many great wisdoms, noble aims, and sublime objectives such as purifying society from corruption, eliminating immoralities, protecting it from worry and preserving life so that it may remain safe and free from the bad effects of the diseases and foul smelling of immoralities and sins. That is because the increasing number of women who do not have husbands is a cause of spreading fornication, debauchery, poverty, physical and psychological diseases such as anxiety, confusion, feeling of desolation, melancholy and the like.

Will a young man who is in the prime of his life marry them?

Had not Allah prescribed polygamy, what would have been the fate of these women who wait for a half or a quarter of a man?

Therefore, this clarifies that polygamy is for the interest of women at the first place before it is for the interest of man. It is not at all a kind of oppression practiced against woman, as some may believe. The One Who prescribed polygamy is Allah Glorified and Exalted Who said in the Divine Hadith, “O My slaves, I have forbidden oppression to Myself and I have made it forbidden among you, so do not wrong one another.” [Reported by Muslim]

«يا عبادي! إني حرمت الظلم على نفسي وجعلته بينكم محرما، فلا تظالموا» رواه مسلم

Can Allah forbid oppression then allow polygamy that implies oppression to woman?

Absolutely not and it cannot be.

That is because Allah is the One Who has created the woman and He is the One Who knows best her conditions and knows that polygamy will not harm her in any way.

Allah Almighty has said, {Should not He Who has created know? And He is the Most Kind and Courteous (to His slaves), All-Aware (of everything).} [Surat Al-Mulk 67:14]

{أَلَا يَعْلَمُ مَنْ خَلَقَ وَهُوَ اللَّطِيفُ الْخَبِيرُ} الملك: 14

Transliteration: Ala yaAAlamu man khalaqa wahuwa allateefu alkhabeeru

He also says: {Say, “Do you know better or does Allâh (knows better)} [Surat Al-Baqarah 2:140]

{قُلْ أَأَنتُمْ أَعْلَمُ أَمِ اللَّـهُ} البقرة: 140

Transliteration: qul aantum aAAlamu ami Allahu

Allah Almighty has made polygamy permissible for the interest of woman by not preventing her from marriage, for the interest of man by not stopping his benefits, and for the interest of the nation by the multiplicity of its offspring. It is a prescription from the One Who is All-Wise and All-Acquainted. No one can challenge it except the one whom Allah has blinded his eyes by disbelief, hypocrisy or stubbornness.

Polygamy in other societies

We are not the only group who seek and call for polygamy. Rather, the non-Muslim countries began to ask for it and call upon applying it. They have witnessed the corruption and deviation that took place in their societies due to the great number of mistresses. This matter affected badly some societies of these countries, so its children become weak and their births have decreased to the extent of threatening with perishing. As a result, those who know something about the Islamic religion among them expressed publicly that they hope to adopt its satisfactory teachings and real virtues, which include polygamy. Furthermore, some of the intellectuals of the foreign women said in public that they hope that every man is better to have more than one wife so that every woman may have a man that can be responsible for and support her. A man, on whom she may depend on and retreat to. This also will remove the afflictions from them, and that their daughters will be housewives and mothers of legitimate children. Bertrand Russell, the English writer said, “Strict monogamy is based on the assumption that the numbers of the sexes is approximately equal. Whereas this is not the case, it involves extensive cruelty on those women who are compelled to remain single because of some circumstances.”

Reasons behind polygamy

There is no doubt that polygamy is the best and most sound way to straight matters that we really know, far away from emotions and compliments. Amongst them are:

1- Allah has made a tradition that the number of men is usually less than that of the women approximately in all the surveys of the world. In addition, men are more liable to death in different fields of life such as wars, car accidents and the like. All of these make the number of woman usually more than that of the men. Therefore, if the man is confined to marrying only one woman, then a great number of women will remain single. Some fornications and immoralities may occur due to this, as it is the case in many other foreign countries.

2- In addition, the man may marry a woman who cannot have children while he wants to have children. He may also marry a woman who becomes ill and whose illness will take a long time to be cured, what shall this man do then? Shall he divorce her because she is ill or because she cannot have children? Or, shall he keep her and remain sick with her or stay without children?

If he divorces her for one of these reasons, then this will be a kind of bad treatment and oppression to woman. If he remains with her on this condition, then this will be a kind of oppression to him as well. The solution then is that the wife remains with him in an honorable condition and the husband marry another woman.

3- Furthermore, some women does not have need in sexual intercourse because her desire is limited while some men have a powerful desire in sexual intercourse. Some men may not have a sexual desire towards his wife for any reason, what shall he do then?

Shall he remain deprived of the lawful sexual life and remain suppressed in consideration to his first wife’s feeling, seek to fulfill his desire in unlawful way or shall he marry another woman? What is the better and more sound solution?

4- Moreover, women are always ready to marry in any time because they are not charged with any financial responsibilities. However, many men are not able to fulfill the financial requirements of marriage except after a long time. If this is the case, shall woman remain without a husband while they are ready to marry?

If some are not able to pay the dowry, then there are men who are able to pay it among those who are married and seek another woman, then shall woman remain unmarried due to this reason? This, in fact, entails a great oppression and injustice against woman.

Selfishness of the woman

When we speak about polygamy and call for it, we call for and seek Muslim, poor and unemployed woman who cannot find a husband and search for even half of a man. However, some married women do not want this as if they were saying, “Let her sit without a husband even if she is a Muslim. Let her die deprived but do not let her take my husband.” This is selfishness. This is the lack of showing mercy for Muslim women. This is due to the emotions and heart desire without paying attention or consideration to the legitimate benefits that are included in polygamy. Is it a good thing that some women enjoy their husbands and most of other women remain deprived from the kindness of the man and the supporter?

What is the crime that they had committed so that they are exposed to this strict punishment from some people who lack kindness and mercy? This is nothing but selfishness in married women and those who agree with them among the husbands whose wives have captivated them, that they do not think except in the orbit of their wives nor do look to anything except from the perspectives of their wives. Otherwise, what may harm the married woman when her husband marries a second, third or even fourth woman as long as he is able to support them financially and practice justice with them in everything. Is this the love of the husband and inability to show patience at doing without him while she does this when he travels for a long time and when he is away from the house?

Is this the love of ownership and taking exclusive possession of him?

Or is it just envy and selfishness?

Let every married woman put herself in the place of the deprived woman that did not find a husband, let her taste the great suffering that this deprived woman feels.

Fairness, justice, equity, and rational thinking entail that a woman should think about her sister who belongs to her sex and about her painful fate that she lives in. She did not commit a sin which makes her deserve this kind of harsh punishment namely, depriving her from a husband, a supporter and a child, except that she was a victim of her married sister and her egotism.

Furthermore, remaining without a husband or a supporter may bring about a lot of dangers and evils. Certain conditions along with need may force her to commit sin and fornication. In this way, she will destroy her honor, lose her humanity, and sell some of her with the cheapest price on the altar of deprivation and need.

Observing equity among wives

Observing equity is one of the most important obligations. Allah Glorified and Exalted has enjoined it in His saying, {Verily, Allâh enjoins Al-’Adl (i.e. justice and worshipping none but Allâh Alone - Islâmic Monotheism) and Al-Ihsân [i.e. to be patient in performing your duties to Allâh, totally for Allâh’s sake and in accordance with the Sunnah (legal ways) of the Prophet in a perfect manner],} [Surat An-Nahl 16:90]

{إِنَّ اللَّـهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ} النحل: 90

Transliteration: Inna Allaha yamuru bialAAadli waalihsani

The Muslim individual should observe justice in all of his religious and worldly life affairs. Observing equity among wives is, as it is well-established, a basic matter that obliges the husband to give every one of them her due right imitating the Messenger of Allah, payers and peace of Allah be upon him, who is the most just person in all matters, especially among his wives.

As for the bad conducts that occur nowadays from some of the husbands who are polygamists, we should not put blame of this on polygamy; but rather, it should be the responsibility of those husbands only. Those husbands are those who defamed polygamy and turned it into a malicious monster that scares most of women. That is because if the man observed equity with his wives, they will be happy with this and the problem will not exist. Most women hate polygamy because their husbands do not observe equity with them. Accordingly, the problem is not in the prescription that allow polygamy but in applying it. Has polygamists observed equity, life would have been good, problems would have been decreased, all parties would have been satisfied and even woman would have called for polygamy.

If there is anyone who does not observe equity among his wives, then this is a case which entails a treatment that can get rid of this disease and cure the sick. However, eradicating this disease cannot be fulfilled through preventing polygamy, as it involves many benefits.

Would any sane person call for diminishing the interactions among people to avoid the problems that arise by some of those whose manners have corrupted and who have lost the noble morals? If the bad conduct of some of those ignorant has occurred concerning the application of polygamy, then this conduct is not inconsiderable when comparing it to the great benefits that may be gained from this system and the great evils that may be brought about by leaving it.

Challenging polygamy is a kind of renouncing Islam

Scholars have unanimously agreed upon the apostasy of the one who denies or hates anything of the Book of Allah. There is no doubt that those who deny polygamy or think that it is a kind of practicing oppression or injustice to women, or hate this ruling are disbelievers and apostates according to the words of Allah Almighty, {That is because they hate that which Allâh has sent down (this Qur’ân and Islâmic laws, etc.); so He has made their deeds fruitless.} [Surat Muhammad 47:9]

{ذَٰلِكَ بِأَنَّهُمْ كَرِهُوا مَا أَنزَلَ اللَّـهُ فَأَحْبَطَ أَعْمَالَهُمْ} محمد: 9

Transliteration: Thalika biannahum karihoo ma anzala Allahu faahbata aAAmalahum

Therefore, we warn those mischievous persons. Moreover, we feel fear for those who defame the issue of the polygamy, frighten people from it, and talk a lot about its negative aspects neglecting the positive ones.

Whisper in the ear of every wife

We do not ask the wife not to feel jealous for her husband and accept that another wife share her with her husband. This is something natural and innate disposition that souls cannot avoid. However, what we want the first wife to do is that she should not allow this innate jealousy to stand against the desire of the husband to marry another woman. She should not plot in different means to make this marriage unsuccessful or put pressure on her husband to divorce the other wife. She should not behave in a way that forces the other wife to feel that she is intrusive and that she has stolen a husband from his wife and a father from his children and his house which may make her (the other wife) withdraw, seek divorce, and feel ashamed that she has accepted marrying a married man.

In addition, everyone should know the limits of what Allah has made permissible. She should be aware of violating these limits under the excuse of her innate dispositions of femininity with which Allah created her. O sister, the first wife, your innate jealousy should be a motive to please Allah in the first place and then please your husband through agreeing with him and avoiding what may arouse his anger and sadness, so that you may take exclusive possession of his affection, love and mercy. When you married him, you did not actually own him forever. However, adopting the situations that contradict and go against religion, claiming that you love your husband will benefit you nothing except endless series of martial disputes and an anxious family life. Such life lacks the stability and suffocates the husband. It makes him nervous and full of grief. All of these things take from the love that is stable in the heart (of the husband), they cover affection and mercy with dark shades. They render the house (fragile) as the house of a spider. Surely, you have in the Mothers of the Believers, i.e. the wives of the Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, and the noble female companions the best example in this regard to follow. The Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, had more than one wife and so did the rightly-guided caliphs and a great number of the companions. It is not reported that those women felt angry or objected to polygamy. They also did not hate it, escape from the house, or seek divorce because of it, as some women of our present time do; those who have little knowledge and weak faith.

The necessity of firmly establishing polygamy and encouraging it

According to what has been mentioned, it becomes clear for us the importance of polygamy and the need of the society for it. It is necessary to pay attention to it as well as to write about it. Everyone should cooperate to establish the notion of polygamy and encourage it, hoping to correct what has been spread among Muslims about misunderstanding polygamy, considering it, as some believe, a kind of oppression towards women, violating their rights, and betraying them. Especially that the need for polygamy today is pressing and it will be even more pressing tomorrow.

Approximately, three institutions can, by the permission of Allah, adopt and contain this topic, raise the awareness about it, and call for it. These are:

1- Mass media with its different agencies, through writing about it and preparing studies and seminars that can address this topic. In addition, this can be done by rejecting and boycotting all what goes against it through what is written in newspapers or displayed in TV series, films and the like.

2- General authority of girls’ education: This can be done through including this topic in the educational curricula in the advanced stages and containing it in one of the Islamic subjects. By this way the girls will recognize the importance and benefits of polygamy and will be raised up in not hating or fearing it.

3- The Imams of the Mosques: This can be done through speaking about it, its benefits, and the need of some women to it in Friday sermons and in the daily speeches from time to another. This can be done during the talks of Ramadan when there are great numbers of female attendants.

If efforts are combined and cooperation of all in this topic is united, polygamy will be, by the permission of Allah, a normal and familiar matter among people, as it had been in the previous societies. Consequently, it will be easier for men to have more than one wife and its burden over women will lessen. The deprived women will get married and shielded. The unmarried women, the widows and the divorced women will be married and all will be happy by the permission of Allah.

May Allah guide everyone to what He loves and what pleases Him. Allah knows best. Prayers and peace of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon all his family and companions.