For the Youth
It goes without saying that women temptation is one of the most dangerous trials that confront Muslims; rather it is the most dangerous one.
- Categories: Prohibited Deeds -
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
In the Name of Allah, all praises and thanks be to Allah, and prayers and peace of Allah be upon His Messenger.
It goes without saying that women temptation is one of the most dangerous trials that confront Muslims; rather it is the most dangerous one. This is shown in the Hadith narrated by Usamah ibn Zaid, may Allah be pleased with him. He said that the Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said,
“After me I have not left any affliction more harmful to men than women.” [Reported by Bukhari]
«ما تركت بعدي فتنة أضر على الرجال من النساء» رواه البخاري
Nowadays, the temptation of women has become more potent, dangerous, and rampant. It has seized the hearts of the heedless and tampered with the minds of the astray. It has depraved the best of Muslim youth, ruined their piety, spoiled their reputation and made them of no benefit. It has caused them to roam the roads here and there searching for vice and seeking for depravity in the market places at all times. They may have held journeys and parties and endured time and effort to wrongly gratify their unbridled lusts and satisfy their lowly whims. Thus they will be overthrown to their own ruin.
Undoubtedly, the affliction of women is the spark of the corruption of the community. It is the cause of vice and lewdness, the root of evil and vileness, and the source of calamity and disaster. Abu Sa’id al-Khudary, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, “This worldly life is sweet and green (alluring) and verily Allah has installed you as vicegerent in it in order to see how you would act. So avoid the allurement of this worldly life and avoid the allurement of women: verily, the first trial for children of Israel was caused by women.” [Reported by Muslim]
«إن الدنيا حلوة خضرة. وإن الله مستخلفكم فيها. فينظر كيف تعملون. فاتقوا الدنيا واتقوا النساء. فإن أول فتنة بني إسرائيل كانت في النساء. وفي حديث بشار: لينظر كيف تعملون» رواه مسلم
The woman temptation is more dangerous than the man’s because a woman has some alluring means that attract men with a look or a word. With a mere sight or a word a woman is able to provoke man’s lust, excite his drive, and increase his longing toward her. This is a human nature Allah has planted in people’s hearts as an examination and trial for them. Whoever is patient will be rewarded, and whoever is driven by evil will be punished accordingly.
Because of his mercy, Allah has guided his servants to how they could avoid this temptation, and has clarified for them the means of protection and cure. The Almighty says,
{And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allâh enriches them of His Bounty.} [Surat An-Nûr 24:33]
{وَلْيَسْتَعْفِفِ الَّذِينَ لَا يَجِدُونَ نِكَاحًا حَتَّىٰ يُغْنِيَهُمُ اللَّـهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ} النور: 33
Transliteration:WalyastaAAfifi allatheena la yajidoona nikahan hatta yughniyahumu Allahu min fadlihi
In this verse Allah has declared that chastity is the way to avoid this dark trial. But how can we obtain chastity? And what are its benefits?
The Manifestations of Chastity
There are many manifestations of chastity. For you, O my Muslim brother, here are some of them:
1- Avoiding adultery:
This is great evil and a disease that strikes honors and breaks families, so all the divine laws have agreed on its prohibition and condemnation. On the same line, the proper thinking and pure instinct find it repugnant and abhorrent. Allah, Glorified and Exalted, says,
{And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Fâhishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin), and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allâh forgives him).} [Surat Al-Isrâ’ 17:32]
{وَلا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلا} الإسراء: 32
Transliteration:Wala taqraboo alzzina innahu kana fahishatan wasaa sabeelan
So avoiding adultery is obligatory due to its harm of people, money and the whole community.
Hence, pay attention - May Allah protect you - to this maxim that refers to avoiding the causes of lewdness and adultery because avoiding them at first is easier than giving them up after indulging in them. Never belittle its initial causes as Allah, Glorified and Exalted, says,
{O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaitân (Satan). And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaitân (Satan), then, verily he commands Al-Fahshâ’ [i.e. to commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse)], and Al-Munkar [disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; and to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islâm)]. } [Surat An-Nûr 24:21]
{يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لا تَتَّبِعُوا خُطُوَاتِ الشَّيْطَانِ وَمَنْ يَتَّبِعْ خُطُوَاتِ الشَّيْطَانِ فَإِنَّهُ يَأْمُرُ بِالْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنْكَرِ} النُّور: 21
Transliteration: Ya ayyuha allatheena amanoo latattabiAAoo khutuwati alshshaytani waman yattabiAA khutuwati alshshaytani fainnahu yamuru bialfahshai waalmunkari
And ponder on Allah’s saying, {And come not near to unlawful sex.} [Surat Al-Isrâ’ 17:32]
{وَلا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا} الإسراء: 32
Transliteration:Wala taqraboo alzzina
He has commanded not to come near adultery because approaching it is a means and a rout to indulge in it. O slave of Allah! Remember that adultery is a gross violation of the prohibitions that Allah prescribed. ‘Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, narrated that the Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said in the sermon of the eclipse prayer, “O followers of Muhammad! By Allah! There is none more jealous (“Jealous” here means that none is more hatful to sin, and none wants to prevent its occurrence than Allah.) than Allah that his slaves, male or female commit adultery. O followers of Muhammad! By Allah, if you knew what I know you would laugh little and weep much.”
He then raised his hand and said, “O Allah, I have delivered the message.” [Reported by Muslim]
«يا أمَّة محمَّد، ما أحد أغير من الله أن يرى عبده أو أمته تزني، يا أمَّة محمَّد ، لو تعلمون ما أعلم، لضحكتم قليلًا ولبكيتم كثيرًا» ثمَّ رفع يديه فقال : «اللهمَّ هل بلغت» رواه مسلم
The Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has negated that who committed zina (adultery) had (complete) belief in his heart. He has said, “The moment the adulterer commits zina, he is not a (perfect) believer, and the moment the thief steals, he is not a (perfect) believer.” [Agreed upon]
«لا يزني الزَّاني حين يزني وهو مؤمنٌ، ولا يسرق السَّارق حين يسرق وهو مؤمنٌ» متفقٌ عليه
Real chastity is fulfilled when one avoids zina in addition to its causes. I ask Allah to preserve me and the Muslim youth from all of that.
2- Lowering the Gaze:
Unlawful gaze is one of Satan’s arrows. If one does not control it at once, it will cause him to stick more in the mire of lust. It sneaks to the heart, tampers with it, and moves one’s desire and lust. It will cause him to picture overheated imaginations, and excite the incentive of indulging in evil until sickens the heart and weakens the body. It makes one a slave of his gaze and a prisoner of his desire. He may hesitate between good and evil, but finally he will indulge in lewdness and vileness to satisfy his burning desire. This is why Allah, the Almighty, has combined between lowering the gaze and protecting the private parts. Allah, Glorified and Exalted, says,
{Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allâh is All-Aware of what they do. (30) And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)} [Surat An-Nûr 24:30-31]
{قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ (30) وَقُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ} النُّور: 30-31
Transliteration:Qul lilmumineena yaghuddoo min absarihum wayahfathoo furoojahumthalika azka lahum inna Allaha khabeerun bima yasnaAAoona (30) Waqul lilmuminati yaghdudna min absarihinna wayahfathna furoojahunna
3- Avoiding shaking women’s hands:
Touching women provokes lusts, rouses dark thoughts, and inclines the hearts to intermingling with women. It is contradictory to chastity and calls for lewdness and depravity. This is shown in the words of the Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, “The adultery of the hand is the (unlawful) touch.” [Reported by Muslim]
«واليد زناها البطش» رواه مسلم
and his saying “I do not touch women’s hands.” [Authenticated by Albani]
«لا أمس أيدي النِّساء» صحَّحه الألباني
and ‘Aisha’s saying “The Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has never touched a woman’s hand except for his wives and slaves.” [Reported by Bukhari]
«وما مسَّت يد رسول الله -صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم- يد امرأة إلا امرأةً يملكها» رواه البخاري
The chaste one is he who avoids the doubtful matters and puts a barrier between him and prohibitions as chastity will protect him from tragic demise.
4- Avoiding unlawful privacy:
Privacy with a non-mahram woman (whom is lawful for one to marry now or then) is explicitly prohibited. Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, said that he heard the Prophet, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, saying in a sermon,
“Do not be in privacy with a woman except in the attendance of a Mahram.” [Reported by Muslim]
«لا يخلون رجلٌ بامرأةٍ إلا ومعها ذو محرم» رواه مسلم
As a matter of fact, privacy is a cause of depravity and a source of committing zina. The soul becomes weaker when it is out of the sight of people, and it becomes more difficult to struggle the dark thoughts than if one finds others to advise and deter him. The Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, “Verily, if anyone is in attendance with a woman in privacy, Satan will be their third attendee” [Reported by Tirmidhi and authenticated by Albani]
«ألا لا يخلون رجلٌ بامرأةٍ إلا كان ثالثهما الشَّيطان» رواه التِّرمذي وصحَّحه الألباني
The meeting of a man with a non-Mahram woman in privacy is unanimously prohibited as mentioned by more than a scholar such as an-Nawawi and ibn Hajar al-’Asqilani; regardless of being her husband’s brother, cousin or some such relative. However, it is more dangerous for a woman to be in privacy with such relatives than to be with others. `Uqbah bin `Amir (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, “Never enter a place in which (non-mahram) women are (alone)’’ A man from al-Ansar said, “Oh Messenger of Allah! What about Al-Hamu (the in-laws of the wife (the brothers of her husband or his nephews etc.))?’’ He replied, “The in-laws of the wife are (the same as) death itself.’’ [Agreed upon]
«إيَّاكم والدُّخول على النِّساء، فقال رجل من الأنصار: يا رسول الله، أفرأيت الحمو؟ قال: الحمو الموت» متفقٌ عليه
An-Nawawi said, “If there is a child of whom no one may be ashamed of; for example a two or three year old with man and woman in privacy, it will make no difference in the privacy prohibition. It is also the same if there is more than a man with a woman.”
So be cautious, dear brother, of this disgraceful sin and do not belittle it in your heart. Remember how many people tasted its poison and underwent its vileness. They disparaged it until they fell in its trap! Remember that Allah, the Glorified the Exalted, has prohibited it by his saying {And come not near to unlawful sex.} [Surat Al-Isrâ’ 17:32]
{وَلا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا} الإسراء: 32
Transliteration:Wala taqraboo alzzina
Bear in mind that whoever meets a woman in privacy is on the verge of committing adultery and on losing his chastity, purity and honor.
Wife is not safe without you even with your soul fellow
Although he may be trusted at least a glance may be casted
5- Keeping away from the causes of temptation:
One of the manifestations of chastity is to flee from the causes of vileness and lewdness. It is well known that the causes of temptation have become abundant in the present times; they have left no corner but inhabited it, no cave but entered it and no way but trod over it. They include the seductive songs, obscene movies, and pornographic photos. However, the Muslim is wise and intelligent enough to realize the consequences of such things.
Dear brother, seek help from Allah. He has vowed to guide and stand by, whoever strives for Him. Allah has said {As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our Paths (i.e. Allâh’s religion - Islâmic Monotheism). And verily, Allâh is with the Muhsinûn (good doers).”} [Surat Al-’Ankabût 29:69]
{وَالَّذِينَ جَاهَدُوا فِينَا لَنَهْدِيَنَّهُمْ سُبُلَنَا وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَمَعَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ} العنكبوت: 69
Transliteration:Waallatheena jahadoo feenalanahdiyannahum subulana wainna Allaha lamaAAa almuhsineena
Notice that your chastity is a guardian by which Allah draws a veil over your family and relatives and guards them as you have guarded others honors. The Almighty says {Is there any reward for good other than good?} [Surat Ar-Rahmân 55:60]
{هَلْ جَزَاءُ الإِحْسَانِ إِلا الإِحْسَانُ} الرَّحمن: 60
Transliteration:Hal jazao alihsani illa alihsanu
From every vice you refrain likewise, your wife will abstain
If by you others’ honor violated forever you will be degraded
If you were respectable you would respect inviolable
Consider your if you fornicate revenge will be taken in your flat
If to fornicate you pay a lot your wife may fornicate for naught
The Benefits of Chastity
If the preserving of honor were the only benefit of chastity it would be quite enough, then, what about many other benefits that lead to exaltation in this worldly life and in the Hereafter! Such as:
-Obtaining the great reward: Allah will give His shade to the chaste youth at the time there would be no shade other than His. Abu Huraira, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said,
“Allah will give His shade to seven people on the Day when there would be no shade other than His. A just ruler; a youth who has been brought up in the worship of Allah (i.e. worships Allah sincerely from childhood), a man whose heart is attached to the mosques (i.e. to pray the compulsory prayers in the mosque in congregation), two persons who love each other only for Allah’s sake and they meet and part in Allah’s cause only, a man who refuses the call of a charming woman of noble birth for illicit intercourse with her and says, ‘I am afraid of Allah’, a man who gives charitable gifts so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given (i.e. nobody knows how much he has given in charity), and a person who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes are then flooded with tears.” [Agreed upon]
«سبعةٌ يظلهم الله -تعالى- في ظلِّه يوم لا ظلَّ إلا ظلُّه: إمامُ عدلٌ، وشابٌّ نشأ في عبادة الله، ورجل ٌقلبه معلقٌ في المساجد، ورجلان تحابا في الله، اجتمعا عليه وتفرقا عليه، ورجلٌ دعته امرأة ذات منصبٍ وجمالٍ، فقال : إنِّي أخاف الله، ورجلٌ تصدق بصدقةٍ، فأخفاها حتَّى لا تعلم شماله ما تنفق يمينه، ورجلٌ ذكر الله خاليا ففاضت عيناه» متفقٌ عليه
Sahl ibn Sa’d as-Sâ’di, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Messenger of Allah, prayers and peace of Allah be upon him, has said, “Whosoever gives me a guarantee to safeguard what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, I shall guarantee Paradise for him.’’ [Reported by Bukhari]
«من يضمن لي ما بين لحييه وما بين رجليه أضمن له الجنَّة»رواه البخاري
Is there any reward, enjoyment, or delight better than this! Is there any comparison between the pleasure of illicit intercourse, which quickly ends, with the permanent pleasure and delight of Paradise! Not to mention the sorrow and remorse of illegitimate pleasure in this worldly life and the Hereafter.
- Obtaining honor and exaltation in this worldly life: The chaste young person is more beloved, respected, trusted, and elevated than his peers for nothing but his chastity and his shyness from Allah. Therefore, Allah grants him dignity and brightness; He makes people love and appreciate him. One of the most amazing stories that were narrated in this regard is the story about Abu Bakr al-Miski. One time he was asked “Why are you always sweet-smelling?” He said,
“By Allah, I have not put any musk (a kind of perfume) for years, but the cause of this smell is that a woman once tricked me to enter her home. After I entered it she locked the doors and tried to seduce me. I got confused and did not know what to do. I said to her, “I want to relieve myself.” So, she ordered her slave girl to lead me to the bathroom, when I entered the bathroom, I painted all my body with stool. I returned to her in such condition. She got shocked when she saw me and ordered her slave to let me out. I went away and had a total ablution. At that night a man appeared to me in my dream saying, “Your action is unprecedented; therefore, I will make you sweet-smelling in this worldly life and in the Hereafter.” I woke up with the fragrance of musk exuding from me. It continued up till now.
3- Relieving worries and distress: this is shown in the Hadith narrated by Abu Huraira about the three who took refuge in a cave in the mountain. A big rock closed the entrance of the cave. They said to each other, “Invoke Allah with the best deed you have performed (so Allah might remove the rock).” So, every one of them mentioned his deed. One of them said,
3- Relieving worries and distress: this is shown in the Hadith narrated by Abu Huraira about the three who took refuge in a cave in the mountain. A big rock closed the entrance of the cave. They said to each other, “Invoke Allah with the best deed you have performed (so Allah might remove the rock).” So, every one of them mentioned his deed. One of them said,
“O Allah! You know that I was in love with a cousin of mine, like the deepest love a man may have for a woman, and she told me that I would not get my desire fulfilled unless I paid her one-hundred Dinars (gold pieces). So, I struggled for it till I gathered the desired amount, and when I sat in between her legs, she told me to be afraid of Allah, and asked me not to deflower her except rightfully (by marriage). So, I got up and left her and left the one-hundred Dinars. O Allah! If You regard that I did this for Your sake, kindly remove this rock.’ So, Allah has removed a part of the rock… till the end of the Hadith.” [Reported by Bukhari]
«اللهم إنه كانت لي ابنة عم أحبها كأشدّ ما يحبُّ الرِّجال النِّساء، فطلبت إليها نفسها، فأبت حتَّى آتيها بمائة دينار، فسعيت حتَّى جمعت مائة دينار فلقيتها بها، فلمَّا قعدت بين رجليها قالت: يا عبد الله اتَّق الله، ولا تفتح الخاتم إلا بحقِّه. فقمت عنها، اللهمذَ فإن كنت تعلم أنِّي قد فعلت ذلك ابتغاء وجهك فافرج لنا منها. ففرج لهم فرجة.. الحديث» رواه البخاري
Allah has not relieved those men but for the greatness of the acts of obedience they have performed, especially this man. As Allah knows of his sincerity and chastity, He responded to his invocation and relieved his distress.