How to be a good wife?

The Prophet, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, also said: “If a woman offers her five (daily prayers) and fasts her month and guards her private parts and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter Paradise from whichever of its gates you wish.”

Categories: Muslim Women's Issues -

- Allâh Almighty says: {Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.).} [An-Nisa`4: 34]

{فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ} النساء: 34

Transliteration: Fassalihatu qanitatun hafithatun lilghaybi bima hafitha Allâhu.

- It was narrated that the Messenger of Allâh, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, said: “This life is a delight, and the best of its delight is a righteous wife.” [Reported by Muslim]

«الدنيا متاع، وخير متاع الدنيا المرأة الصالحة»رواه مسلم

- It was narrated on the authority of Abu Hurairah, may Allâh be pleased with him, that the Prophet, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, said: “Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” [Reported by Muslim]

«تنكح المرأة لأربع: لمالها، ولحسبها، ولجمالها، ولدينها؛ فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك» رواه مسلم

«إذا صلت المرآة خمسها، وصامت شهرها، وحصنت فرجها، وأطاعت زوجها؛ قيل لها: ادخلي الجنة من أي أبواب الجنة شئت» صححه الألباني، صحيح الجامع

The Prophet, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, also said: “Your women from the people of Paradise are the loving and fertile, the one who is an asset to her husband, whom if he gets angry - comes and places her hand in the hand of her husband and says, ‘By Allâh, I will not taste sleep until you are pleased (with me).” [Al-Muhaddith; Al-Albâni. It has a chain of trustworthy narrators who meet the criteria of Muslim except that Khalaf was confused with the other, but there are many other witnessing narrations to support it]

«ونساؤكم من أهل الجنة: الودود، الولود، العؤود على زوجها، التي إذا غضب جاءت حتى تضع يدها في يد زوجها، وتقول: لا أذوق غمضا حتى ترضى» المحدث: الألباني، إسناده رجاله ثقات رجال مسلم غير أن خلفا اختلط في الآخر، لكن للحديث شواهد يتقوى بها

Beware of:

1- Incurring the anger of your husband:

It was narrated that the Messenger of Allâh, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, said: “There are three whose prayers do not go any further than their ears: A runaway slave until he returns, a woman who spent the night with her husband being angry with her, and one who leads people in prayer when they dislike him.” [Al-Albâni deemed it Hasan] (good); Sahih At-Tirmithi]

«ثلاثة لا تجاوز صلاتهم آذانهم: العبد الآبق حتى يرجع، وامرأة باتت وزوجها عليها ساخط، وإمام قوم وهم له كارهون» حسنه الألباني، صحيح الترمذي

2- Harming your husband:

It was narrated on the authority of Mu‘adh, may Allâh be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allâh, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, said: “No woman offends her husband in this world but his wife among the Hoor Al-‘iyn says, ‘Do not offend him, may Allâh kill you, for he is only with you for a short time and soon he will leave you and come to us.” [Reported by At-Tirmidhi and Al-Albâni deemed it Sahih (authentic); Sahih Al-Jâmi‘]

«لا تؤذي امرأة زوجها في الدنيا، إلا قالت زوجته من الحور العين: لا تؤذيه قاتلك الله، فإنما هو عندك دخيل، يوشك أن يفارقك إلينا» رواه الإمام الترمذي وصححه الألباني في صحيح الجامع

3- Being ungrateful to the grace of marriage:

Imam Muslim narrated in his Sahih that the Messenger of Allâh, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, said: “I also saw the Hellfire and I had never seen such a horrible sight. I saw that most of its inhabitants were women." The people asked, "O Messenger of Allâh! Why is that?" He, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, replied, "Because of their ungratefulness." It was asked whether they are ungrateful to Allâh The Almighty. He, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, said, "They are ungrateful to their companions of life (husbands) and ungrateful to good deeds. If you are benevolent to one of them throughout the life and if she sees anything (undesirable) in you, she will say, 'I have never had any good from you.” [Reported in Sahih Muslim]

«ورأيت النار فلم أر كاليوم منظرا قط، ورأيت أكثر أهلها النساء، قالوا: بم يا رسول الله؟ قال: بكفرهن، قيل: أيكفرن بالله؟ قال: بكفر العشير، وبكفر الإحسان، لو أحسنت إلى إحداهن الدهر، ثم رأت منك شيئا، قالت: ما رأيت منك خيرا قط» صحيح مسلم

4- Asking divorce with no compelling reason or religious acceptable justification:

It was narrated on the authority of Thawbân, may Allâh be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allâh, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, said: “Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce with no compelling reason, the fragrance of Paradise will be forbidden to her.” [Al-Albâni deemed it Sahih (authentic); Sahih Al-Jâmi‘]

«أيما امرأة سألت زوجها الطلاق، من غير ما بأس، فحرام عليها رائحة الجنة» صححه الألباني، صحيح الجامع

5- It was narrated that the Messenger of Allâh, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, said: “No obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator (i.e. Allâh The Almighty).” [Al-Albâni deemed it Sahih (authentic)

«لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق» صححه الألباني

6- Observing voluntary fasts when your husband is present without his permission: It was narrated on the authority of Abu Hurairah, may Allâh be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allâh, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, said: “No woman should fast when her husband is present except with his permission.” [Reported by Muslim]

«لا تصم المرأة وبعلها شاهد إلا بإذنه» رواه مسلم

7- Refusing to enable your husband from enjoying and having intimacy with you:

It was narrated that the Messenger of Allâh, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, said: “If a husband calls his wife to his bed (to have sexual relations) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the Angels will curse her till morning.” [Reported by Muslim]

«إذا دعا الرجل امرأته إلى فراشه، فلم تأته، فبات غضبان عليها، لعنتها الملائكة حتى تصبح» رواه مسلم

8- Disclosing and spreading the secrets of marital and sexual relations.

9- Taking off clothes in a house other than the husband’s house.

10- Allowing anyone to enter his house except with his permission.

11- Going out of his house except with his permission.

Furthermore, woman should serve her husband with a wholehearted devotion, for it was narrated that the Messenger of Allâh, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, said: “If the woman knew the full extent of the right of her husband, she would not sit in his presence while he is eating his lunch and dinner until he finishes eating.” [Al-Albâni deemed it Sahih (authentic)]

«لو تعلم المرأة حق الزوج، لم تقعد ما حضر غداؤه و عشاؤه؛ حتى يفرغ منه» صححه الألباني

Amongst the rights of the wife over her husband

It was narrated that the Messenger of Allâh, Prayers and peace of Allâh be upon him, said: “That you should feed her when you feed yourself, clothe her when you clothe yourself, you should not hit her on the face, you should not curse her and you should not forsake her except in the house.” [Al-Albâni deemed it Sahih (authentic)]

«أن تطعمها إذا طعمت، وتكسوها إذا اكتسيت، ولا تضرب الوجه، ولا تقبح، ولا تهجر إلا في البيت» صححه الألباني

Dear Muslim sister!

Think about yourself and how many of such attributes you have. Moreover, try hard to attain them in yourself so as to please Allâh The Almighty and achieve for yourself, your husband and your children a good happy life in the worldly life and the Hereafter.

Tasjeelaat Al-Ansaar Al-Islaamiyyah